“I wanted to see you, to congratulate you. Jordan told me about the audition.” A small sad smile flickers across his lips. “I called, but it went straight to voicemail.” He sighs softly. “I’m so proud of you.”
“You don’t get to be proud of me,” I whisper. It comes out before I can stop it, but it feels good. I want to speak my truth. “It’s been months, Dex. Why are you here? Why now?”
“I’ve been . . . trying to figure out how I feel about you.” He averts his gaze, and his power over me is broken, like I’ve awoken from a trance.
Remember, I tell myself. Remember what he put you through. Remember the pain.
“You still haven’t figured that out?” I snap.
“No, that’s not what I meant.” He drags a hand through his hair, looking flustered for the first time since I’ve known him. His cuff links shine beneath the stage lights, and I’m disgusted by my desire to draw my lips over them.
What’s the matter with me?
“What I mean is,” he continues, “I’ve never felt this way before.”
My heart slams in my chest. What is he saying?
“That morning at my house, when I saw you standing out by the pool, I realized you were the most beautiful fucking thing I’d ever seen. It hurt to look at you.” He meets my eyes again, and his gaze smolders like it could set me ablaze. “But then you asked me what we were, what you meant to me, and I froze up, Nora.” His brow furrows, one of his hands clenching into a tight fist. “Every woman I’ve cared for has either used me or left me, sometimes both.”
I immediately think of what he told me about his mother, but I don’t let it soften my resolve. I can’t let myself wade into these waters when I know Dex Reid is going to make me drown.
“Is that why you ran into Serena’s arms?” I ask, voice still venomous. I’m clinging to my anger, refusing to open my heart to him after spending so much time trying to put the broken pieces back together.
“I didn’t run into her arms.” His voice is hard. “We’d already agreed to meet up that night. She had some of my stuff at her place, and I wanted it back. The media lie about everything. You know this.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you call? I trusted you, and you abandoned me! You acted like I meant nothing!”
My voice carries in the auditorium, and I think I see a flash, someone photographing us, but I still can’t find the energy to care.
Let them watch. Let them all see the sad girl fall apart at the rock god’s feet.
Despite my best efforts, I can’t hold my tears back any longer. They overflow from my eyes and streak down my cheeks. When Dex reaches out to wipe them away, I pull back from him, knowing I’ll crumble at the first brush of his skin against mine.
“I was afraid,” he whispers.
“Of me?” My laughter is cold. I’m not looking at him now, am staring at the thick velvet curtains at the far end of the stage, trying not to let him see how much he hurt me. “What could you possibly be afraid of?”
“Of wanting you. Of losing you.” He pauses for long enough that I finally meet his eyes again. He’s staring at me, brows pulled together, and his eyes almost look . . . pained. Holding my gaze, he whispers, “Of loving you.”
And that’s what does it. My flames of rage flicker and die, the tension easing out of my shoulders.
Of loving me?
“I’ve never had anything that I’ve been afraid to lose before. But not having you is hell. It’s so much worse than the fear.”
Tentatively, he reaches for me again. His hand hovers there between us. He doesn’t push, doesn’t try to snatch my hand before I can turn away. Instead, he waits.
It’s a white flag. A declaration of peace. A trembling, broken thing trying to rise from the ashes.
And this time, I close the distance, let him take my hand. His skin is warm against mine, and I shiver as he runs his thumb across my knuckles.
“I was an absolute fucking idiot,” he continues. “I was terrified, but I should never have let you walk out that door. Please . . .” His fingers tighten around mine. “Please let me try again.”
I shift my thumb slightly, run it over the ring Dex wears around his first finger.
“What is this?” I whisper, and the familiar shape of the words on my tongue has my chest tightening up, like it’s trying to shield my heart. I’ll ask him this question once more. For the last time, I walk right up the edge of oblivion and ask, “What am I to you?”
And this time he doesn’t pull away, doesn’t shut me out and lock the door. Instead, he tugs me closer, and his breath tickles the shell of my ear when he whispers, “You’re my everything, Little Monster. And I’m so sorry it took me this long to admit it.”
He pulls back just enough so that I can see his face, can pick up on the different shades of blue in his eyes. And when he leans in to kiss me, his lips finding mine, it feels like I’m coming home.
chapter 27
AS DEX KISSES ME, SOMEONE cheers in the crowd.
“Fucker,” Dex whispers, breaking our kiss.
I lean around him to see who it is, and as I suspected, Sebastian is standing in the aisle, pumping his fist in the air. Michael, Lucas, Jordan, and Alisha stand around him, wearing smiles and shaking their heads. And slightly behind them, staring at me with tears in their eyes, are my parents.
“Oh my god,” I whisper. Mom waves at me, and Dad slips an arm over her shoulders, giving me a thumbs-up. “What are they doing here?”
Dex’s laughter is soft. “I wanted them to be here for your last show.”
My gaze snaps to him, and I search his eyes. “You did this? You brought them here?”
He nods. “I hope that’s okay.”
“Okay?” A laugh slips from my lips, and then my free hand is easing into his, and I squeeze his fingers softly. “Thank you.”
