We can’t do this here …
Panic filled her mind as reality came crashing in. Benedict would become engulfed in even more scandal if anyone were to find them in such a precarious situation.
“Benedict, we have to stop.” She gently placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed him back, feeling the rush of cool air against her body in his absence.
His face filled with confusion and hurt as he looked at her, but the nearing footsteps quickly made him realize what had happened. Nodding to the other side of the tree, he gestured for Livinia to hide.
Doing as he said after quickly fixing her dress, Livinia stepped behind the tree. Benedict followed her lead and hid her body, pressing her against the tree with his chest pressing into her back.
A young couple came into view as they briefly paused and looked into the garden.
Livinia could hear the pounding of her heart in her ears as she shut her eyes, hoping they would pass instead of coming inside. Benedict’s lips touched her ear as his hot breath sent a wave of bumps over her skin.
“This is boring. Let’s go and see what the rest of the garden looks like,” the girl finally said and urged her companion on with a giggle.
Benedict and Livinia both gasped for relief when the couple wandered on in search of more exciting things. She was beginning to wonder if he would kiss her again when he finally took a step back. His eyes wandered over her chest as she turned and hurriedly fixed her appearance.
“I think we had better get back to the ball before anyone else comes along.” His voice was gruff as he spoke, and his hair was tousled where her fingers had curled in his hair.
Oh Lord, I called him Benedict …
The gravity of what had happened between them flooded her mind like a cool wake-up. She had willingly participated in the kiss and even urged him on. She was more than certain that things would have progressed even beyond that if the couple hadn’t come along.
Benedict seemed as if he wanted to say something but took a step back instead. “I will go out first, you can follow in a moment or two if the coast is clear.” He gave her instructions with his eyes locked on the path beyond the gardens.
He can’t even look at me.
Livinia felt the pit of her stomach coiling with confusion as he walked away, leaving her alone in the little alcove. Her breathing was ragged and uneven as she watched him stride away hurriedly. Things had changed between them, and nothing would ever be the same. There was no way she could return to seeing him as just the Earl of Sheffield.
***
Livinia lay awake with the sheets thrown to the side; her bare legs were exposed with her nightdress riding up her body. She couldn’t sleep with thoughts of Benedict and the kiss they had shared. She’d spent the rest of the evening with Lady Theodora, avoiding Benedict as he made idle chit-chat with gentlemen he’d known from years before.
The atmosphere in the carriage ride home had been loaded with tension, and Livinia was grateful for Theodora’s chatter. She had danced with several young men who had complimented her dress and made her feel like the bell of the ball. Yet none of that was distraction enough to keep Livinia and Benedict from stealing glances.
She rolled over in her bed and buried her face in a pillow.
What am I going to do now?
Thoughts of his body pressed against hers were making her skin more than just a little hot. Her core yearned for his touch with a dull ache that wouldn’t fade.
A noise in the hallway made her look up with the pillow clutched tightly to her chest.
Someone was outside her door; it almost sounded as if they were pacing back and forth.
Looking out the window, she realized that it must have been close to midnight; the moon was high in the sky. Swinging her legs from the bed, she tiptoed across her chambers, the carpet muffling the sound of her footsteps as she went. She pressed her ear against the door in an attempt to hear who it was.
Benedict.
Her heart skipped a beat as she realized that the earl was pacing back and forth in front of her door. It almost sounded as if he were practicing what he wanted to say.
He paused for a second and muttered her name with a sharp intake of breath. Did he want to apologize to her or continue what they had started?
Livinia couldn’t help wondering if he was going to come in. Her chest rose and fell beneath the cotton night dress. The motion of her breathing caused her breasts to rub against the fabric until her nipples stood erect. The nearness of the earl on the other side of the door only caused her loins to ache even further for his touch.
She froze when it sounded like he was about to reach for the handle, stepping towards the door.
Her lips parted in ecstasy as she pressed the tips of her fingers against the wood, willing him to come inside as she imagined the feel of his lips on her body. The kiss they had shared in the garden promised a heated embrace that would leave them both gasping for breath.
Disappointment flooded her body as she heard his footsteps retreating down the hall.
Why did he change his mind?
She shut her eyes and leaned her forehead against the door. It was probably for the best; she reminded herself of the fact that she was just a governess. There was no hope for anything more than what they had now. And even that left her with a whirlpool of confusion that dragged her into the abyss of her thoughts and desires.
Chapter 15
Benedict sat in the parlour the following morning, rubbing the tip of his finger against his thumb as he watched Livinia sorting through the mail. The plain blue day dress she was wearing did little to discourage the pattern of his thoughts. He’d lain awake for hours in his chambers, wishing he’d had the courage to enter her room. The ever-persistent dreams of her body beside him in bed did little to aid his sleep either.
“There is another note here thanking you for attending the ball.” She broke the spell of his thoughts as she looked up at him, the note in her hand.
“Place it on the table with the rest; I will get to them when I have a moment.” He swallowed hard and shifted in his seat in an attempt to ease the lust that burned in his body. He’d wanted to take her in his arms and make love to her in the garden, even more so when he’d gone up to her door. Yet the secrets of his past had held him back. Who was to say that she wouldn’t be placed in danger if he dared get closer to her?
“As you wish, My Lord.” Her eyes lingered on his for a moment before she returned her focus to the letters.
He far preferred it when she had whispered his name in her sweet voice; the sound still felt like music to his ears when he recalled the memory. How would it sound if she begged him for more in the same manner, if she’d denied his offer to stop exploring her body?
“My Lord I …” Her lips drew his attention again as she looked at him with a heated look in her beautiful eyes. He hadn’t noticed the gold flecks in her irises until he’d held her beneath the pale moonlight.
