He nodded at my surprised expression. “And it’s real, right beside the palace. They’re the Watchers, ensuring that everyone gets a fair shake and doesn’t overstep their bounds, though I fear that their time may not be long.” He hid his worried glance well, but I saw it. I suppose I would find out the source of his worry once I got there.
“Still, that should be enough assistance for you to make your decision. I give no guarantees that Sebastian will assist you once you have accessed Cestra’s Archives, and everything beyond that will be up to you.” He gave a great sigh, as if the conversation had tired him out. “I have little doubt you’ll set out for the archives first thing tomorrow.”
I gave a happy nod, before replying in a joyous, chipper tone.
“It’s almost like we’re related!”
He scratched his head, a little unsure of what to make of my sudden elation.
“I have two pieces of advice. Take these how you will,” he began. “First, I would recommend that you keep non-Pact Mages out of this conflict, should you start it. There are no consequences for me disobeying my brother’s desire to keep our mother’s archives away from you, as I have no human I feel great attachment to. You may not feel the same way.”
“There’s no way that would happen. Inflicting vengeance would be unbefitting of a good ruler, or a royal dragon.” I laughed nervously, trying to reassure myself as Roland raised a doubtful eyebrow.
“Oh? Well, you’re a dragon? What would you do if another dragon threatened the stability that you’ve fought so hard to keep? If another dragon threatened your crown? Keep that thought in mind.” His words stung as I thought back to Charlotte. While it would pain me to do so, it would hurt so much more if…
I didn’t want to think about that.
“Noted. Anything else?” I tucked the thought deep inside my mind, however, it refused to leave. Like a bad house guest, it lingered despite my best attempts to purge it. I wished I had brought Charlotte with me, just so that she could reassure me that she would be okay.
“Two, consider that if you did want to be a princess, the people will expect you to produce heirs.” For a split second, I was furious. I thought he was suggesting that I leave Charlotte, but that moment of anger was brief as I saw his own saddened expression at his own advice.
“You look like you don’t quite believe yourself, Roland.”
His expression didn’t change. “I do. I’m paying the price for not having started a family, like the people wanted.” I felt a pang of sympathy. Here was the only other dragon that I’ve really met, and both of us were caught in the same terrible system of our own construction.
I reached over to grab his hand. It was like mine, slender, but his fine fingers were adorned with many rings, as if he was trying to hide something.
“It doesn’t have to be this way, you know?”
He shook his head, even as he accepted my hand. “No, trust me. Even if you have to take multiple partners. Even if it’s disagreeable, having heirs will endear you to the people. You are Cestra’s child, and it’s your duty…” He paused, cutting himself off mid-sentence. He didn’t want to finish it and I didn’t want to hear it. “You get the point.”
“I know the point exists, yet you chose to ignore it. You know, we’re dragons. We could remake things where you don’t have to have heirs!” I grinned as he eyed me doubtingly.
“Sure, but let’s say we take out my brother. You don’t have kids. I don’t have kids. You can guess what happens next. If there are only two dragons, then it becomes a part of our duty, no matter how much we dislike it.” He kicked a rock as I was forced to concede the point. He sounded bitter about it, far too bitter for this to be a one-off, throwaway advice.
I didn’t want to say it, but there was one escape. Give up the crown.
No, that wasn’t right either. Once you accept the crown, it’s not like you could make people forget that you were a dragon. You had to never have taken the crown in the first place.
You had to be me.
“Can I ask you one last thing? This one is purely personal curiosity,” he asked as we approached Kennith’s home again. It was still far in the distance, but it seemed like we had walked for hours. I let go of his hand with a smile and a nod.
“Sure. Happy to.”
“Okay. How do you like transforming into a dragon?” It was so left field to hear him ask a question with genuine curiosity. No purpose. No grand scheme. Only casual curiosity shared between two dragons.
“Oh! I didn’t like it at first, but I really like it now. It’s liberating, so to speak. When I’m a dragon, things are clearer. The world is clearer, if that makes sense. Not to mention being able to fly and all the other fun dragon stuff!”
Instead of happy agreement, his reaction was a sad smile. “When I asked my brother, his only reply was that it was his duty. I’m the same. Taking my dragon shape makes me feel ill afterwards for too long, as if I’m not a dragon, but instead some stranger looking at my dragon form. That, and when I transform back into a human, I my stomach turns. Especially if I had been flying.” I reached up to his shoulder and gave it a little pat. I hadn’t known that I was the exception to the rule.
“How I see it, you’re a dragon who takes the form of a human at times, and the two of us are humans, who can take the form of a dragon at times. I wonder if any other royal dragons have been like you? Probably. Lucky bastards.” He chuckled before knocking on the door. I heard Charlotte yell something in excitement.
“Should I come looking for you when the time is right?”
Roland shook his head. “Na. I’ll find you. You’re one of two other dragons in this whole world. It’s going to be pretty hard to lose track of someone like you.” He gave a parting wave as the door clicked open. I was greeted by Charlotte’s hug, before being dragged through the door into a quiet, sleeping house.
Candles kept the place illuminated, as it seemed like Charlotte had been staying up for me. The smell of dishes soaking in the sink and leftover tea was in the air. There was no hint of Mari or Kennith to be found. I could see that she was tired, little bags under her eyes, but that did little to dull her enthusiasm.
“So? How did it go?” Charlotte placed both of her hands on my shoulders as I closed the door behind me. This time I could look up into her eyes and smile.
“I—No, we, have a plan again.” I thought back to Roland, then looked at my girlfriend who wrapped her arms around me in a warm embrace.
“Hehe! I’m glad to hear! Now, you’re going to have to fill us in on everything. No leaving out the details, all right?” She pecked me on the cheeks and I felt my entire face blush almost reflexively.
“Y-You can’t do that! That’s cheating!” I bumbled as she let me go.
She bounced away with a mischievous smile, but those nagging thoughts returned. It was late. Exceptionally late, but I felt like I needed to get them off my chest. I unclasped my cloak and followed Charlotte to our room.
Soon enough, I was lying in bed with my hands wrapped around my nightgown. I had given Charlotte a brief rundown of the conversation between Roland and I, including the Archives of Cestra. I didn’t have the heart to tell her right now that I wanted her to stay home, for her safety. Right now, Charlotte was brushing her hair, or trying to at least. It was cute seeing her struggling to straighten her hair, while I would’ve loved curls like hers. Maybe more like Mari’s. She did have an absolutely tremendous amount of curls. I also wanted to bring up my troubled thoughts, but I had no idea how.
“Hey Charlotte. Would you mind kids?” There was no way to make that introduction not awkward. Charlotte stared at me as if I was possessed as I smothered my face in a nearby pillow out of sheer embarrassment.
“What?” If I had been looking at her, I’m sure it would’ve been the first time I saw Charlotte genuinely taken aback. She was too confused and baffled to even quip or tease me about it before she finally came up with a reply.
“I mean, don’t get me wrong, kids are fine. I’ve only been with you for not even a month and kids are priority number few hundred down the list. We’ll figure it out when it gets there?” She tried to reassure me while sounding unsure if she said the right thing or not. I was very quickly dying of embarrassment, but I could at least bring up the actual question.
“See, I was talking to Roland.” I poked my head out of the pillow and she raised an inquisitive eyebrow. Seemed like she’d recovered now.
