I wish he’d take off his body armor, but at the same time I hope he doesn’t.
I flinch when my knee bumps against his weapon, but he doesn’t seem to care. He grabs my thigh and lifts it clear of his holster, swinging it around his waist. My ankles lock around his back as he jerks my hips against his, making my chest cave when I feel how hard he is again.
He starts grinding against me, hard and slow, making me squirm beneath him, “You want me to take you right here, don’t you?” he smirks.
I shake my head no, but I can’t even look him in the eye. My conscience has decided I’ve fucked around long enough, but I still can’t bring myself to let go of him.
“I can’t imagine how wet you must be right now,” he slides his hand between us and starts pulsing against my clit with his thumb, “maybe enough to fit me on my first try.”
“Colsss—” I hiss, digging my nails into his shoulders.
“You remember the fun I had with your tight little cunt?” he smiles bitterly, “Now that I know what you can do, I’m going to ruin myself on you,” he latches onto my neck, “soak myself in your pussy and fuck you numb, right here.” He grabs my ass and slams my groin against his cock, “You want me to tie you up again and fuck you like a good girl?”
Against every fiber of my being, I start nodding. His words alone are going to make me come all over this cabinet. Gritting my teeth, I will myself to reverse course and shake my head like I can redact my thoughts. I must look like a crazy person.
Whatever—he’s used to it.
Colson stills and relaxes his body, “Good,” he lets his arms fall away from me, “then think about which hole you’d like me to fill next, while you’re picking out that pretty, white dress.”
He takes a step back and, suddenly, the shame smacks me across the face like a rogue wave. I’m left sitting on the edge of the cabinet, submerged in a violent whirlpool of humiliation and fury. Hot tears well in the corners of my eyes, but I clench my jaw and manage to stave them off. When I finally meet Colson’s eyes again, they’re burning a hole through my forehead.
His mouth twitches with malice and he nudges his belt toward me with his boot, “Now, put your man back together again.”
A tremor runs through my chest as I shift uncomfortably.
Fucking asshole.
“You aren’t my man,” my voice cracks with indignation.
“Aren’t I?” Colson snarls, his tone turning to poison.
“Put your own goddamn clothes back on,” I seethe through my teeth.
Something ignites behind his eyes and for a moment I’m petrified I’ve awakened some nightmarish beast. Colson takes a step toward me, so close that his Kevlar touches my chest, “Unless you want me to start taking you apart,” he looks me up and down, “move.”
I tell myself I shouldn’t be afraid of him, but my sense of self-preservation is strong and I know what he can do. It’s complicated and bizarre, but I still remember what it’s like to be on the receiving end of his wrath—accidental or not.
Taking a deep breath, I grab the belt loops on either side of Colson’s hips, giving them a harsh jerk upward. He leers at me as I reach around his waist to pull his black t-shirt down and start tucking it back in. I work my way around his waist to the front, refusing to look at him.
“You’re really good at this,” his voice switches back to a gentle tone.
I jerk the front of his pants toward me to button them, “Being bullied by you?”
“Don’t act like you don’t enjoy it,” he slides his hand around the side of my neck, “that you’re not still soaking wet for me right now.”
He leans down and nudges my head to the side, brushing his lips along the nape of my neck as I slide my hand down the front of his pants to smooth down his shirt. He’s still hard, like nothing ever happened.
You already know he gets off on shit like this.
Colson pulls back and smiles as I finish tugging his zipper up as roughly as I can, “Now you can put my belt back on.”
Kneeling down again, I sift through all the equipment until I find the buckle. Once I pull it straight and find the other end, I toss the entire monstrosity behind his boots and start walking it up the backs of his legs. Once I finally reach his hips, he’s no help, whatsoever. Instead, he stands with just enough slack that when I pull the belt taught, his hips press harder against mine. He takes it as an invitation to snake around the side of my head and brush his tongue along the edge of my ear.
“I can’t see,” I say through clenched teeth, debating whether to smack him or drop his belt onto the floor again.
Neither would probably end well.
“Just concentrate, baby,” he whispers into my ear.
But I can’t. It takes every iota of willpower I have not to drop his belt and pull him back on top of me, and he knows it. Because he lives on some twilight plane of existence where he can vacillate, at-will, between spite and adoration, between fire and ice.
I long blink, trying to focus when he reaches up and hooks his fingertips in the neck of my shirt. He gently pulls it to the side to expose my collarbone and leans down, brushing his tongue over the contours and slowly kissing my shoulder. I recoil when his hair tickles the side of my face and I feel his teeth on my skin. When he starts pulling my shirt lower, I give him a sharp shove in the chest with my shoulder.
“Stop it,” I clip, barely keeping hold of his belt buckle.
Colson straightens up, smiling as he smooths my shirt back over my shoulder and chest, “Feels nice, doesn’t it?”
“What?” I mutter, not looking at him.
“Dressing me.”
“I’ll never dress you,” I balk at the thought.
“I bet you will,” he muses, tipping his chin up, “one day.”
“Maybe in a straight-jacket…”
“If that happens, it means they took us to the asylum together. Wouldn’t that be nice, being locked away with me with no escape?” He bows his head and leans in closer, lowering his voice to the same lulling tone as before, “You and me, every day and every night, fucking each other senseless. Then you wouldn’t have to hide your crazy so much.”
