Where am I?
I can’t move my face. It feels like I’ve been stung by a swarm of bees. Bo is on top of me, gripping my face with one hand. I feel cold from the waist down, but he’s warm. It feels like rocks and sticks are embedded in my back and my ass. Where’s my underwear? Then I realize I’m out in the woods.
Am I lost? Was I in an accident?
I reach up with a trembling hand and touch Bo’s face, moving my hand over his cheek and the curve of his ear, feeling his buzzed scalp under my fingers.
How did I get out here? Did he find me?
“Bo…” I breathe, my voice hoarse and raspy.
I’m able to throw my other arm up and hook it around his neck, clinging to him. He’ll get me out of here. He won’t leave me. Bo runs his hand over my neck and up the side of my face, making me wince as he brushes over my jaw. The moonlight slices across his face as he gazes down at me with concern. Maybe it’s bright enough that we can find our way out of here.
I’m so glad Bo’s here. My eyes well up and hot tears stream down my temples to my ears. He leans down and gently kisses my lips. I don’t want him to leave. I want him to get me out of here.
Why aren’t we getting up? Maybe I’m too injured…did he call for help?
Then I hear Bo’s voice. But instead of the voice I recognize, it’s a low growl full of contempt, “See if you can run now, bitch.” Why is he talking like that? “I want my name to be the last thing that comes out of your mouth,” he growls, clenching my broken jaw in the crook of his thumb, “and I get what I fucking want.”
Oh, God...
I remember how I got here. My heart seizes and I jerk my arms away from him, slamming them against the ground. I try to scramble out from under him with my good leg, but my legs are spread too far apart on either side of his hips and I can’t gain purchase. I’m clawing at the loose brush with my arms, trying to shimmy myself across the dirt.
Have I been unconscious? For how long? It’s just as well. I didn’t feel Bo dislocate my jaw. I didn’t feel him break my ribs. I didn’t feel him grab the front of my shirt and slam me into the ground over and over, so hard that he ripped it halfway down my chest. I didn’t feel him tear my underwear off. I didn’t feel him...
Oh…
I have to get out of here. I have to get away from him.
Even broken and half-conscious, I’m still strong. But so is Bo, and he’s still bigger than me. I can’t get out from underneath him. He grabs my throat. I claw at his arm and try to pry his fingers loose from my neck, but he throws my arms aside with his other hand and slaps that one over my throat, too. He’s squeezing…
I lash out with choked screams, clawing at his face with my pink and black acrylic nails. I can’t get a good shot. His arms are set too wide for me to reach his face with my closed fist. He’s squeezing harder...
I’m getting tired. It feels like time has stopped. His hands are like a vice. My chest convulses with each breath while I try in vain to gasp for air. My vision gets fuzzier and it’s getting darker…
And then there’s a pop that ricochets through my head, followed by a loud ringing before I’m plunged into darkness.
CHAPTER SEVENTY-ONE
Evie
High School
I wake up…I think.
I’m standing up now and my eyes are open, gazing around at the black wall of trees while the night sounds sing electric. With a deep breath, I fill my lungs with the songs of the crickets and tree frogs and look down at my hands. When I raise them to my cheeks, they feel warm and soft again, devoid of dirt streaks and clay packed beneath my nails.
Hearing a rustle nearby, I turn and see Bo. He’s about 10 feet away, slowly rising from the ground. He stills, leering over a dark pile in the leaves.
“I’ll never cry for you again,” he mutters bitterly.
Again? Bo doesn’t cry for anyone…
“You’re so fucking selfish!” he screams at the body laying at his feet.
My dead body.
Jerking his leg back, he winds up and delivers a swift kick to my side, “You stupid, selfish fucking bitch!” My limp body lurches and merely scuffs across the earth.
It’s me, but I can’t feel anything he does. I’m just standing here, behind him, watching.
“You goddamn cunt whore!” He doesn’t stop, he keeps kicking my body, teeth clenched and grunting furiously, “You’re nothing!” My head rolls back and forth and my limbs flop over the leaves and twigs. “I fucking hate you!” his voice cracks and he finally stills again, his chest heaving.
Oh, Bo…what have you done?
I feel like I should cry. I feel like I should cry for my mom, my dad, Dallas, Colson, and all my friends. I should cry because I won’t see them again. God, they’ll be so upset…what will Hildy and Hannah do?
No, fuck Hannah. But what will Hildy do when she finds out Bo did this?
But I can’t cry. I should, but I can’t.
Instead, I’m filled with overwhelming tranquility. I can see clearer than I ever have and I can breathe better than I ever have. I feel alert and calm at the same time. I feel strong and I feel happy, like my heart is filled and overflowing. How can I feel this way after something so horrific?
I take a few steps toward Bo and peer around his shoulder. I’m lying face up, my body cocked at an odd angle, my arms and legs splayed out. My eyes are open and I’m staring up at the treetops. But the lights are out and there’s no life left behind my eyes.
I’m gone.
There’s dirt and blood smeared across my face, out of my nose, over my gums, and across my teeth. My left eye is swollen from him hitting me with his right fist. My hair frames my face in a frizzy, red halo and there’s still sweat beaded on my forehead. My tears have washed tracks through the blood on my cheeks and under my eyes.
