I was not the kind of wife to dole out blow jobs. It wasn’t in my nature. Even
over time, it still truly disgusted me. I didn’t like to give them, and I didn’t expect anything like that in return. I had no desire for that kind of intimacy with anyone. Tonight, performing the act I despised under the guise of pleasing him
was about control.
How strange to trust me with your most prized possession? I hope the driver
doesn’t hit a bump and cause serious injury, I smugly thought.
Not giving him time to achieve climax, I climbed on top of him. Once again,
I pretended I was with someone else. For the briefest moment, I was actually enjoying the interaction. That was, until Christopher flashed in my mind.
The fury for my rapist, which had been hidden inside me, came to life. This
time, I was in control, and I allowed my feelings to strengthen me. As I ground
on Jeremy, I became more infuriated. Instead of focusing on pleasure, I took out
my frustration on him. This was angry sex, and I wanted him to hurt. Ripping his
shirt open, I dragged my nails down his chest and bit his neck…hard.
“Ow, babe,” he cried, but didn’t stop me.
That only fueled me. The seduction of Tad had been my plan. I came up with
the idea, but I ended up being the one humiliated and angry. Not by Tad’s response, he had been honorable in the end and didn’t want to share his wife. He
felt shame and true guilt.
Jeremy was eager for more. He had no qualms about having sex with
someone else. Most men would have protested, at least a little bit. Not my husband. He wanted to know when and where. And the sad thing was, if I offered it up a second time, I had no doubt he would do it again. Even after the
fallout.
I climaxed just as Jeremy was about to release. Instead of waiting for him to
finish, I cruelly pulled off him.
Jeremy grunted his displeasure, but immediately took matters into his own hands. Finishing, he yelled at me, “What were you trying to do, Caitlyn? Break
my dick?”
“Cramp,” I lied.
The driver met my eyes and I licked my lips seductively. He quickly looked
back at the road and I smiled.
“Damn it, you tore me up.”
“Cat scratches.” I shrugged, looking at the deep bleeding wounds. I hope they scar. “They’ll heal. I’ll put something on them when we get home.”
Pretending to fall asleep, I rested my head on Jeremy’s shoulder. Faking soft
breathing, I waited for him to pull out his phone. As if it was in the script, he finally lived up to my expectations of him.
Jeremy: Crazy bitch ruined the trip. Huge mess to clean up. See you
tomorrow. Early. I don’t need any drama. Be sexy and waiting.
Ginger: I’ll be ready, baby. Xoxo
Any guilt I felt, died Jeremy would deal with the consequences of his choices, as I would deal with mine.
By the time we arrived home, it was four in the morning. My fake sleep turned real. Jeremy woke me, and I silently followed him through the lobby. Like the walk of shame.
Safe in our home, we undressed and climbed into bed. We slept on opposite
sides. I didn’t want to be with Jeremy anymore, but he had never given me space
like this before. It hurt, even though I didn’t want him.
After lying in bed for the longest hour of silence I ever felt, the bed shifted as Jeremy got up and grabbed some clothes from his drawer. I didn’t watch to see
