I hear a big yawn and stretch on the other end of the phone. “Gabriel just brought me breakfast in bed. He’s an early riser, so I like to get up with him. The other three . . . they’re more night owls if you know what I mean.”
I don’t want to get into a conversation about Kate’s sex life at six in the morning, although I know she’s always waiting for the chance to indulge me, so I get right to the point. “Hey, I saw something weird today from Mack. You know the guy I’m talking to online?”
“Fish forum Mack?” Kate asks.
“It’s an aquarium forum, but yes, essentially.”
“Okay, aquarium forum Mack. Tell me all the dirty details. Unsolicited fish pic?”
I zoom in and out of the picture. “That’s the thing, I’m not really sure. Can I send it to you?”
“Sure, you know I love weird shit.”
“This is true.” I attach the image and send it over. “Check your messages.”
I wait a second and speak again. “Do you see it?”
“Hang on. Hang on . . .” Then there’s another pause. “So, what am I looking at? This just looks like an empty tank. Why’s he need a tank the size of his wall?”
“Look in the corner, do you see a fa—”
“Holy shit, what the hell is that?” Kate cuts me off.
“You see it too!”
“Yeah, of course I see it. Is that some kind of monster head?”
“I don’t know!”
“It’s so creepy!”
“I know!” I’m practically shouting into the phone. “Do you think that’s his fish? He says he only has one.”
“This dude has an enormous tank with only one fish in it? That’s really fucking weird, Jules.”
I close the image on my screen. It’s freaking me out. “Well, he did say his fish was too ugly for the other fish.”
“Hmmm. Maybe there’s something else going on here. May I say something crazy?”
“Have you ever said something not crazy, Kate?”
“Touché. So . . . here’s the thing. You know I’m a believer in the supernatural, right?”
“I’m aware.” Ghost boyfriend.
“Well, maybe this is some kind of . . . paranormal creature we’re looking at. Have you considered that?”
I scrunch my face. I’m a skeptic, not a believer. “I think of all the available possibilities, that’s probably one of the least likely.”
Kate sighs. “You’re never any fun.”
“I’m very aware.”
There’s a pregnant pause between us before Kate speaks again. “When’s the last time you left your apartment? You’ve never even met the guys.”
The guys she’s referring to are her four boyfriends. “I go to the coffee shop every day. Besides, I’ve been super busy with work.”
She doesn’t need to know all the details about my agoraphobia. Yes, I know it’s agoraphobia. Yes, I’ve googled my symptoms before.
“A likely story.”
I don’t like where this topic is heading, so I veer it back. “Do you think I should ask Mack for another picture? Maybe he’ll accidentally send more clues about the fish creature.”
“I think you should just ask him outright what the hell that is.”
“I can’t do that!”
“Why not?”
“Because he clearly didn’t mean to send it. It was an accident.”
She tsk, tsk, tsks. “No such things as accidents in this universe.”
I scoff, picking at my nails. “Pretty sure my existence disproves that statement.”
“Jules!”
“Look, I gotta go, Kate. I’ll call you later.”
