Me
And if it doesn’t?
I wait. And I wait. Then I wait some more.
There’s no reply. Or maybe in his mind he did already answer it.
My heart twists, my chest tight and constricted and my stomach dropping as I switch back to the Club Venom chat. I erase what I was about to send.
DarkHearted1
I don’t like to be kept waiting
BrokenBee
Now
BrokenBee
I’m available right now
I don’t want this. I don’t want anyone else touching me.
But I need to feel something other than this searing hurt. I need whatever this stranger is offering to bury the ache in my chest, knowing that the one I really want doesn’t give a shit, or simply can’t.
I thought I could do it. I thought I’d be able to have this fake marriage, and just the physical, and be fine with it.
But that was before I fell for the darkness. For his darkness.
DarkHearted1
Be at this address in half an hour. And remember…I don’t like to be kept waiting
He sends me an address not far away from the club.
BrokenBee
Ok
DarkHearted1
Are you going to be a good little whore for me?
I flinch.
It sounds different coming from someone else. It feels dirty, and not in the good way.
BrokenBee
Yes
DarkHearted1
Good
What the fuck am I doing? Shame and self-loathing wash over me as I head back inside and find my friends. I put on a happy face, telling Milena I appreciated her talk, and that I’m going to go home and curl up on the couch with Netflix. I smile brightly as I hug them both good night, then head outside to find a cab.
My heart knots as I slide into the back seat and drive off into the night.
23
BIANCA
The taxi pulls up in front of a luxurious building on Fifth Avenue.
There’s no excitement burning in my veins as I pay and step out. No nervous, anxious desire.
There’s only one man who stirs up those emotions in me.
And he’s a lying, cheating asshole.
Okay, maybe scratch the “cheating” part, because we never had any sort of formal discussion about our “terms”. But, I mean, call me old-fashioned: I sort of thought monogamy was implied when you got married to someone, barring any sort of other conversation.
Silly fucking me.
Regardless, here I am. God only knows why. A sour feeling curdles in my stomach as I approach the door to the building. But I pause just as the doorman bows and reaches for the front door. The hesitation has me turning to glance back at the taxi as it pulls away.
Just then, my phone dings.