“But you disobeyed me, anyway. You knew the terrain was treacherous, Justine. Did you go to El Morro, too? You were gone an awfully long time.”
“Please, don’t be mad at me. I know—”
He moved his chair closer to her. “Don’t be mad at you? You’ve gotta be kidding. I clearly asked you not to go to that part of Red Rock. I know the area, Justine. I almost killed myself up there one day exploring where even I had no business going. You disobeyed me.”
Her eyes met his, concern and confusion creasing her forehead. “Disobeyed you! Darrius, I’m not a child. I’m your lover. I’m not someone who is supposed to obey you.”
“You’re right! I asked, yet you took it upon yourself to do what you wanted anyway. How can I trust someone like that, Justine?”
She tried her best to sit up and discuss this with him, but pain forced her against the pillow. Still, her weak voice continued. “I would think by now you’d know enough about me that you could still trust me. Sure, what I did was stupid, and I’m sorry. Can’t you understand that?”
“Justine, try to get this into your thick skull. It wasn’t only yourself you put in jeopardy. I rescued you with the help of my brother. All three of us could be dead in some ravine. Your parents could be less one daughter and my own parents would be facing the deaths of two more children. Two more, Justine. Losing a child isn’t an easy thing. I saw what losing a child did to my parents years ago when the baby died, and it wasn’t a pretty sight.”
His words stung like a million bee stings, but they were true. Yet she remained defensive. “I didn’t ask you to save me, did I?”
“What? How stupid is that? In case you don’t realize this, I care an awful lot about you. Maybe this whole ordeal was only one-sided. Do you even care about me and what you put me through?”
“Of course I do, and don’t ever question my love for you. That’s why I apologized. I know I was wrong.”
“You’re damn right you were wrong.” He pushed the bed tray closer to her. “Drink the tea. I had Derrick go to my store and bring it here. Even he isn’t crazy about seeing you after what you put us through.” He saw tears welling in her eyes and suddenly hated himself for being so harsh with her. He sat on the corner of her bed, smoothing the crisp white sheet over her knees, softening his voice. “How do you think it made me feel to see you lying on that slab of cracking sandstone not knowing whether you were dead or not? The minute I moved you, the slab fell. Had I not gotten there in time, you’d be part of the ravine. You wouldn’t even be recognizable.”
Her eyes widened as she visualized the image he had painted so vividly.
“Once I got you here and they told me you would survive, my heart screamed with joy. Then it hit me what you had done. You went against me, against my people’s land. Sometimes you have to know when to not be so adventurous, especially when it could endanger someone. I could have lost you.”
He stood and walked over to the door. Before leaving, he turned back to her. “Maybe I already have lost you. Maybe I care just a little bit more about us than you do. How do you think it made me feel when you didn’t trust my words? I felt so worthless and unimportant—like I was nothing more than a New Mexico fling—something to do, something to give you yet one more experience in your career. I know these lands, Justine. Let me tell you what else I think I know—that you would have eventually made it over to the ruins beyond where we found you. You may have even photographed them. Don’t say you wouldn’t have.”
She slowly looked into his eyes. “Well, you are going to hear it. Photographing the ruins was not going to happen. I know they’re sacred, Darrius. I may say and do a lot of things I shouldn’t, but exploiting native history isn’t one of them. I respected what you told me, and I never would have taken pictures. I would hope by now you would trust me.”
“Really? Why should I?”
“Because it’s true. I swear.”
“I don’t believe you. What other forbidden places have you gone to? I know there is something else. How am I to not to know you haven’t already gone up Red Rock once before? I don’t know, Justine. Something tells me there’s more to this whole charade than you’re letting on.”
“Darrius, don’t leave. Stay here so we can work this out. Help me to save us. I was wrong and I’ve admitted it. Don’t you love me enough to at least try to get over this?”
He thought about her words for a second, and then walked out. He was as stubborn and bullheaded as she was, an aspect he hated about himself. This time, however, he felt defeated. Defeated by yet another woman, and his heart dragged behind him down the long hospital hall and into the setting sun of another long Gallup evening.
* * *
For a long time, Justine stared at the door, hoping, praying, he would come back, but somehow knew he wouldn’t. He was a proud man, and his heritage was important to him. Apparently, it was more important to him than she was. In her heart, Justine knew that wasn’t true. He loved her and she knew it. She knew she was the one who soiled their relationship. Her investigative side had gotten her in a heap of trouble before, but this was, by far, the worst of her misadventures. Her heart ached as she recalled the words he had spoken. And what made them hurt more was that they were true. He knew her actions, her every move. He apparently also knew of her trip up the hills of Red Rock the other day as well. Only then she was scared to go all the way up. Today had been different.
And then she thought: Why would she want to be involved with a man who knew so much about her? Her other side answered, the side that craved love and affection and wanted it more than ever now. He was sweet, kind—the best thing that had ever happened to her. Now he was gone. Tears stained her face and bed sheets. With shaking hands, she reached for the cup of hot tea. With each sip she could taste Darrius. She could feel him in every drop. He was in her blood.
* * *
Justine sat by the entrance to the hospital waiting for her taxi to arrive. She knew Darrius should have been there, but he hadn’t been back to the hospital since their argument. She took total responsibility, but the pain of it was like a jolt of lightning. Everyone was mad at her: her boss, Darrius and probably his entire family. Seemingly, all of the Southwest was ashamed of her. She felt as if she had wandered into a sacred crypt in one of the great pyramids. Crypts, sacred grounds, what did it matter? She had messed up. Now the task at hand was to get to the train station early the next morning and return to reality. Being there with Darrius had been beyond reality, it was more like a dream vacation, and he was the best souvenir of all. That was over now.
She was helped into the taxi by her nurse and driven to the Red Rock Best Western to order room service and sulk the rest of the day and night.
When she entered her room, she realized everything was gone except for her clothing and the bracelet Darrius had given to her. She slipped it on and tried to at least keep a small part of him alive in her.
There was a note on her pillow along with an envelope. Inside, there were $200 dollars and another note. “Have a good meal or two, pay the taxi to take you to the train station. Anyway, have a good life. Darrius.”
Direct, impersonal and devoid of feeling—everything the real Darrius wasn’t. She read the other note. “I’ve packed the rest of your things and had them shipped to your home address in San Francisco. I even went back to Red Rock to retrieve your camera. I had a few men on harnesses go down and get it. It’s still usable. I also left the bracelet for you. The hospital handed a bag of your belongings to me the day I took you there. The bracelet was inside it. I figured you’d like to have this as a memento of how much I love you. I only wish you had appreciated it. Darrius.”
Her heart dropped to the basement of the hotel. From that point on, all she did was curl into a ball in the center of the bed, watch HBO and order food. Periodic tears kept her face wet until she cried herself to sleep around midnight.
* * *
Red Sky Jewelers opened up at nine each morning, and she knew she had just enough time to have the taxi run her over there for a few minutes. She was hoping for one more chance to make Darrius believe in her again.
She hesitated before pulling open the heavy oak doors to the store to face Darrius, but she knew she had to if she wanted to prove herself to him. True enough, there he was at the counter doing inventory on a pile of red-oyster necklaces. But as she moved closer, she realized it was Derrick.
Derrick’s gaze met hers and his body visibly stiffened. In a cautious monotone, he said, “I see you’re feeling better.”
“Much. I want to thank you—”
“No need.”
Moments of awkward silence passed between them before she continued. She looked around the store as if the surroundings would give her courage. But there was no courage to be had, just facts and truths. “Is…Darrius around? I’d like to—”
“Say goodbye to him?”
She stared blankly into his eyes before answering. “Uh…no. Actually, I’d like to—never mind. Is he here?”
“No.”
