“Alistair. What are you doing here?” Her voice comes out as a breathless whisper.
“I think we need to talk. May I come in?”
Her eyes widen slightly, but she does open the door all the way and allows me in. I just take a couple of steps before I turn around. Chiara is standing in front of the closed door, frozen like a statue, watching me with wary eyes. A myriad of emotions clashes inside my chest. Longing, regret, anger. But the feeling that stands out the most is something I never thought I would feel again. I can’t believe it took me this long to realize the truth.
“Why are you here, Alistair?”
“I went on a date tonight,” I blurt like a moron.
She winces. “And you just came here to rub it in?”
I pass a hand over my face. “No, I came here because I’m done pretending that our weekend in Italy was meaningless.”
Leaning against the door, she closes her eyes and presses a hand over her forehead. It’s then that I notice she doesn’t look well.
“Chiara, are you okay?”
“No. I feel… faint.”
No sooner does she say it than she stumbles forward.
“Chiara!” I reach her with a giant stride, catching her in my arms before she hits the floor.
With her head pressed against my chest, I can tell she’s burning up. I lift her in my arms, noticing how she feels like deadweight. She’s passed out.
I cup her cheek. “Goldi, wake up.”
Her eyelids flutter, but she only opens them halfway. “Alistair, I don’t feel good.”
“Of course you don’t, sweetheart. You have a fever. Do you have painkillers?”
She closes her eyes again and nods.
“Where are they, Goldi?”
“In the cabinet above the sink in my bathroom.”
I don’t need directions to find her bedroom and adjacent bathroom. I lay Chiara on her bed first and then go in search of the medicine.
God, what would have happened if I hadn’t decided to act recklessly and come see her tonight?
There’s a water bottle on her nightstand already. I help her swallow the pills and then try to get her as comfortable as possible.
“Alistair?” she croaks.
“Yes, honey?”
“Please don’t leave me. I don’t want to be alone tonight.”
I kiss the top of her head. “Nothing could pry me away from you, Goldi. Now sleep. You need to rest.”
“Okay.”
I don’t move from my spot by the edge of her bed until Chiara’s breathing becomes even. Once I’m sure she’s asleep, I head back in the living room to grab some pillows and then return to her bedroom to make a makeshift bed for myself on the floor. I could take the couch, but that would be too far from her; I don’t want her to wake up in the middle of the night and think I’ve left.
I stare at the ceiling, but sleep eludes me. It’s not only worry about Chiara that’s keeping me wide awake. I’m thinking about my life and what I truly want out of it. Being reminded about Jamie today brought things into perspective for me.
I knew what I felt for Chiara was bigger, more powerful than anything I had experienced before, but fear made me push her away.
Not anymore.
27
Alistair
The sound of soft feet near my head wakes me. My vision is blurry, and it takes me a moment to remember where I am. Then I see her face, hovering over mine like a golden angel.
I lean on my elbows. “Chiara, you shouldn’t be out of bed.”
“You spent the night… on the floor.”
I rub my eyes, trying to get rid of the last vestiges of sleepy fog. “Yeah. I was afraid you’d need me during the night.”
“You should have taken the couch.”
“How are you feeling?” I reach for her forehead to check her temperature, but she leans back and away from my hand.
“I feel fine.”
