I opened my mouth to decline but found myself giving her a nod instead.
“Okay,” she said with a sigh before taking my hand and dragging me all the way to the bench. “Sit here,” she ordered. And down I went. She stood in front of me. “I hope you’re better at it than Tony. His braids really suck.”
I looked at the back of her messy head of hair, welcoming the sense of purpose, even if for a few minutes, and got to work.
“Have you had many girlfriends, Coach Cam?”
I frowned, caught off guard by her question. “No. I haven’t had a girlfriend for a while, no.”
She sighed, and that sigh should have told me enough. “Do you love Miss Adalyn?”
My hands froze in the air, and I swore my heart came to a halt. “Yes,” I rasped out, resuming the random twirling and weaving of hair.
“Have you told her?”
I cleared my throat to speak. “No.”
María huffed. “Then, how is she supposed to come back?” Now my goddamn heart was breaking all over again. “How will she know where to follow her heart?”
My eyes closed. “That’s part of the problem, I’m afraid.”
“Love is never part of the problem,” María answered. And Christ, why did words spoken by a nine-year-old hit me so hard?
“It’s a little more complex than that, sweetheart.”
“But I’ve seen the face she makes at you when you touch her.”
My fingers faltered for an instant. “And what face is that?”
“The same face Brandy makes when she realizes I’m the one petting her,” she said, and I bit back a chuckle. But then, the kid continued, “Like she can finally be at ease. Like she was scared but now she’s okay. Because with me, she’s always, always safe.”
You make me feel like I’ve never felt with anyone before, Cameron. You make me want things I never wanted. Adalyn’s voice seemed to take shape in my head, eclipsing the pounding in my chest.
Oblivious to how much of an effect her words were having on me, María continued, “You told us that life is hard. You said that a loss is only the end of one game. That we should stand up and chase the prize. Losing a game is just tripping, it makes you tough as long as you stand up.”
“I… did.” I had told the kids that. And I’d been sure my words had crushed them. And now they were being thrown back at my face, crushing me.
María handed me an elastic over her shoulder. “Is Miss Adalyn your prize?”
“No.” My throat worked. “She’s not a prize to be won.” I took the elastic from her. “She’s… not a game. She’s more than something you win. She’s more than a loss. She’s everything that’s worth playing for. She’s everything in between.”
“See?” she said with that nonchalance only kids had. “Love is never the problem. Love is easy, like in the movies. We’re the ones who make it complicated. That’s why I’ll forgive her for missing the game.” I finished tightening the elastic. “But if she really is your everything, and she’s dealing with something important, then shouldn’t you be with her? Even if you messed up. What if she needs a sub to play in her place? She might not like you right now, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want you there.”
Before I could even utter a word, she turned around.
Her brown eyes inspected me, and I just blinked at her in disbelief. Thinking about what she’d said. Thinking how much sense she made. How easy it seemed when she put it like that.
“Can I have your phone?” María asked.
I handed it to her, my head still whirling.
María looked at herself in what I assumed was the camera of the device. She sighed.
“Coach Cam?” she called, and my gaze refocused on her. “Your braids suck.” She handed back my phone and I blinked at the kid. “Will you ask her to teach you?”
Like the hopeless and foolish man I was, I whispered, “When?”
And María pursed her lips, as if the answer was the most obvious thing in the world. “When you get her back.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Adalyn
I hated myself for the words that were about to come out of my mouth, I really did.
“Do you want to keep your job?” I squeaked, feeling even worse than I thought. “Do you even know who I am?”
“Yes.” The guy blinked. “And your access has been revoked, Miss Reyes. I can’t let you through.”
So he knew. This bastard.
This bastard. That was exactly what Cameron would have said. I’d even heard the words uttered by his voice in my head. If he was here he would—
No.
I let out a bitter laugh that soon morphed into something that sounded a lot like the start of a sob. I’d been doing that a lot today. Almost sobbing. Almost breaking. Almost calling Cameron. Almost texting Josie to beg her to apologize to the girls for me. Almost letting myself feel like I was making a mistake.
The stoic man in front of me frowned.
