“Maybe.” She was so quiet, I almost didn’t hear her.
I paused, trying to paint why this whole thing felt wrong. At first glance, we were on the same page. I’d apologized, she’d apologized, everything was great. So why was tension still hanging over us like a storm cloud? Why wasn’t Sloane meeting my eyes? Why did she sound so fucking sad?
The only thing I could think of was…
No. A surge of panic seized my limbs, but I covered my suspicions with a forced smile. “So we’re okay. I know we have a lot of stuff to figure out regarding the club, but you and me, we’re okay?”
I searched her face for a hint, any hint, that she agreed.
I didn’t find it, and when she opened her mouth, a part of me already knew what she was going to say.
“Xavier…”
“Don’t.” I clenched my jaw. “It’s not time yet.”
“Our trial period ends in two days.” Sloane’s eyes finally met mine, and it was like looking at a sea of stars in the night sky. They gave the illusion they were within reach, but if I extended my hand and tried to grasp those fleeting emotions, they’d slide through my fingers like whispered taunts. “What happens then?”
“Then we end the trial and start dating for real.” I didn’t bother playing coy. “That’s what I want, Luna. Tell me that’s not what you want too.”
I didn’t know a lot of things, but I knew her. I knew she had feelings for me. I’d tasted them in her kiss, heard them in her laughs, felt them in the way she’d pressed her body to mine. They weren’t the hallucinations of a man in love; they were real, and I’d be damned if I let them slip away.
But when Sloane straightened her shoulders and her expression cooled, I had a sneaking suspicion that the feelings I’d thought would bring us closer would end up being the very things that drove her away.
“I didn’t want to do this today, but since you’re here, we might as well.” Her knuckles whitened around the doorknob. “We had fun; I’m not denying that. But our trial period is all but over and we won’t…” She swallowed. “We won’t work in the long term.”
A strange roar erupted in my ears. “What are you saying?” I asked quietly.
I knew exactly what she meant, but I wanted to hear it from her mouth. I wasn’t giving her an easy way out on this.
“I’m saying there’s no extension.” Sloane’s mouth wavered for a split second before firming. “I want to break up.”
I was freezing.
The heater was running at full strength, but goosebumps coated my arms and legs, and the doorknob felt like ice in my hand.
Or maybe the cold was coming from the hallway, where Xavier stood still as a winter night, his face carved with shock.
As I watched, the sharp edges hardened into determination, and he shook his head. “No.”
I closed my eyes, wishing I were anywhere but here, that his plea through the door hadn’t weakened my defenses so much I’d abandoned my original plan to break up with him over the phone. That wouldn’t have been the bravest thing to do, but it was preferable a dozen times over to witnessing Xavier’s hurt disbelief in person.
I opened my eyes again and steeled my resolve against the voice banging inside my head, screaming don’t do this.
I had to. If we didn’t break up now, we’d have to break up someday, and I’d rather cut ties before I was in too deep.
You’re already in too deep, the voice snarled.
I ignored it.
“Don’t make this any harder than it has to be,” I said. “The terms were clear. We date for two months, then decide whether we’re going to work. Well, those two months are over, and I’ve decided we won’t.”
“You decided. I remember you saying something about this being a two-way street.” Xavier’s cold stillness fell away and revealed a blaze of emotion in his eyes. “Give me a good reason why we won’t work.”
“We’re too different.”
“That wasn’t a problem when we were dating. Opposites have long-term relationships all the time, Luna. It’s not a deal-breaker.”
“It is for us.” Something large and jagged had taken up residence in my throat, and every word scraped painfully on its way out. “I’m not meant for long-term relationships, okay? I get bored. Things don’t work out. What we have is already complicated because we work together, and it’s easier for both of us if we break up before we’re forced to.”
I’d rehearsed my speech a hundred times over the past two days, but it rang as false now as it had the first time.
I did have a good reason for why we wouldn’t work, but I couldn’t tell him because I was terrified—of him, of this, of us.
He wouldn’t knowingly hurt me, not right now, but if I gave him an inch, he’d take a mile. I’d succumb to his promises, his power over me would solidify, and one day, I’d wake up and realize he could break me into more pieces than anyone else. His offhanded comment, delivered in the heat of the moment last week, had sent me reeling. What would happen if he tried?
Everything was fine during the honeymoon phase of a relationship, but that phase had to end eventually, and I refused to leave myself vulnerable when that happened.
No matter how much it hurt in the short term, breaking up was the best thing to do in the long term.
“Forced?” Xavier’s eyes flashed at my reply. “Who’s going to force us, Sloane? Your family, our friends, the world? They can all fuck themselves.”
“Stop. This is the smart—”
“I don’t give a damn about smart. I give a damn about us and the fact you’re lying to me.”
Heat seared my cheeks and chased away the bone-rattling cold. “I am not lying,” I snapped, trying to hide the waver in my voice. “Do you remember when we ran into Mark at the restaurant? You said he couldn’t take a hint. Don’t repeat his mistake.”
