My mouth went dry. “And what, exactly, do you want?”
“For you to be happy.” The words were immediate, not in the rehearsed kind of way, but in the manner in which people said things that they believed to their core.
The truth of that struck me.
“I won’t force you into a marriage you do not want.”
I swallowed the discomfort of finally being given the choice for which I’d hoped for months now. I could have laughed at myself, at my folly, if I didn’t think laughing would cause my already sore chest to ache.
How foolish I’d been to fall for him. How foolish I still was. For even as he stood across from me, even though I knew in my heart that he’d chosen her over me by allowing her to escape, by sealing my fate, I was still allowing the feel of his warm lips on mine to slip in. Still hurting for the fact that I would never feel that again, that in the moment, I hadn’t made the mental effort to hold onto that sensation. That I hadn’t memorized his kiss. Because I’d assumed there would be a thousand more.
I couldn’t allow myself to continue in this folly, couldn’t allow myself to pine over a male who viewed me as his second choice.
I wouldn’t be anyone’s second choice.
First choice, or nothing at all.
“She’ll still come after me. You know that,” I said. Evander winced.
“You’ll continue to have full access to your guards.”
“That never helped me much here. Why should it help me at home? Why should I believe it will keep my family safe?”
Evander shook his head and sighed. “You’ll receive the finest this time. Double the guards.”
My heart ached. He had already thought of any objection I might have. Had already come up with the solutions should I try to stay within the bargain.
He wanted out.
“Very well,” I said, my mouth going dry. “Call them. Let’s end this.”
A long hour filled with silence later, my parents arrived in the prince’s office. My father, whom I hadn’t seen in months, rushed over to the chair where I sat and kissed my forehead, lifting me off my chair and wrapping me in his strong embrace. I fought back the tears, but only because I was tired of shedding tears in front of Evander. Tired of shedding tears at all.
“The king won’t punish her for this?” my mother asked as she held an inked quill warily over the signature line. Ink dripped off the tip, staining the parchment.
“No,” Evander said. “My father is not above Fae law. He took an oath to uphold it.”
My mother nodded her head, though she didn’t quite look convinced. Then she pressed the quill to the parchment and signed her name. My father released me and followed suit.
“That’s it?” he asked. “She’s free now?”
“It can be tested,” the scribe said.
Evander nodded. “I refuse to wed Elynore Payne.”
I watched his chest. It ebbed like a river after a spring rainstorm.
“I refuse to wed Prince Evander.”
Nothing happened.
The torrent of relief and loss swept over me, drowning one another in their own brands of intensity.
My mother took my hand as I savored my breath.
Evander and I stole one last glance.
I realized then that we were both complicit in killing each other. Not the versions of ourselves that would walk out of this whitewashed office and go on with our lives.
The carefree prince, confident for the first time in his ability to lead. The dreamer girl, willing for the first time in her life to be content.
Together, we’d killed them, those versions of ourselves.
“Let’s go home, Ellie,” my mother said.
I turned for one last glance, one last word of well-wishing, but Evander had already disappeared.
He hadn’t bothered to say goodbye.
CHAPTER 49
ELLIE
“So you’re really leaving then?” Blaise asked, as if we both weren’t packing my bags.
I’d amassed few belongings of my own while living in the castle, and though the queen had insisted I take the gowns and outfits, I couldn’t quite bring myself to.
I didn’t exactly want to be reminded of this place, pleasant as some of my experiences had been.
