After what felt like hours of uncomfortable silence punctuated by Blaise’s sniffling, the palace guard arrived and took her away, Evander providing them special commands about where she was to be kept, and under what sort of conditions.
“For you, Your Highness,” said one of the guards, handing a piece of parchment to his prince. Evander stole a quick glance at the paper before shoving it into his pocket.
Then they were gone, leaving me alone with the prince.
He stood there, his hands in his pockets, his copper hair falling into his face, his jaw cut, looking as handsome as ever.
He didn’t speak.
He didn’t take his eyes off me, either.
They typically looked like the sea, a mixture of moss and blue waters, but tonight they blazed green with desire.
Still, he didn’t speak.
I realized he was waiting for me.
“You didn’t tell me what you gave up.” As usual, it came out more like an accusation than I’d meant it.
His throat bobbed, and he tore his gaze away from me, staring up at the ceiling like he was trying to glimpse the stars through the wood and curse me silently. “You didn’t ask.”
Fates, why was it always like this with us? One of us reaching out to the other, only for the words to come out wrong and to be met with a wall lacking footholds, too slippery to climb.
“You shouldn’t have entered into that bond with her.” Again, not how I meant to say it. I’d always prided myself on my ability with words, so why, when Evander was around, did everything come out the opposite of how I planned it?
His jaw worked, the only evidence of his temper flaring. “Why can’t you just say thank you for once?”
My mind raced back to the glass shop, the fight we’d had then. This was the same one, wasn’t it? Him thinking I should be grateful for something I didn’t want in the first place. Perhaps it was for the best that he’d be wedding someone else. Let that be the final wedge between us, saving us both from a life of misery, playing out our irreconcilable differences for the rest of my mortal life.
But then again.
Then again.
I hadn’t wanted him to, but he had bargained his freedom away to save my life. Twice.
It was hard to tell the difference between shame and gratitude sometimes.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
He darted his gaze away from me, his green eyes gleaming.
“I’m sorry,” I said. For what you’ve given up. For what happened to us.
A pained smiled flickered on his face. “I’d do it again, if it meant you were safe.”
My breath hitched before I could catch it, and his ears flicked, his gaze darting to my mouth, to where my breath fogged the air.
He didn’t look away.
A moment later, and he’d closed the gap between us. I gasped, backing away until my hips hit the workshop table. He advanced on me, pinning me, his eyes alight with fire.
Heat coursed through me as his gaze dipped to my lips.
“We can’t do this,” I breathed, my voice ragged and unconvincing.
A sly smile slipped across his face. “On the contrary: you’re the only woman I can do this with.”
Lightning enveloped me, coursing through my veins and stirring to life every feeling I’d tried so desperately to suppress over the past month.
I shook my head. “You’re going to have to marry her come full moon. You were too specific. There’s no way out of this.”
“Well, then,” he said, his gaze drunk on my mouth. “I suppose since you’ve somehow managed to change me into an honorable male, now’s our only chance, isn’t it?”
He leaned into me, so close the slim distance between us physically hurt. “You don’t understand,” I breathed.
He frowned, taking my jaw between his fingers and lifting my gaze to meet his. “Then enlighten me.”
“I can’t let myself have you, not even for a moment, not even just a kiss, because…” I sucked in a breath. With each word, it was as if another one of my ribs cracked.
“Why not?” His voice was a whisper on the edges of my ear as he buried his face into my hair.
“Because…” Fates, I couldn’t do it. Couldn’t make myself say it. Why, after all we’d been through, did this feel like the thing that would suffocate me, steal the air from my lungs and be my undoing?
“Ellie.” His breath stung at my ear, sending a fire through me, one I wouldn’t soon be able to put out. “Why can’t you kiss me.”
Not a question.
I steadied myself on the table, dizzy now. “Because it’ll break me. Because I can’t…I can’t have you for just a moment. If I’m going to have you, I have to have all of you. Forever. I can’t have you then give you to someone else, I just…”
