“Chocolate, ibuprofen, heating packs, candles. I don’t know. I read some articles on how to help. Talking, reading, movies, silence, shutting down tech. You might have to tell me what works for you.”
I stuttered, “How—huh?”
“How did I know? I can tell now, from the moments we spent together, I caught on. I thought maybe you were avoiding me because of what happened…and then I thought maybe you were anxious, too. Then I saw you on work meetings, and I knew.”
“Oh…”
No man, including those I’d dated long-term, had ever identified an episode without me saying so, much less from afar, much less brought me comfort gifts to cope.
He explained, “My mom has a lot of anxiety, and she tends to keep it to herself, too. When you told me about your anxiety attacks, I saw her symptoms in you. I always tell my dad to pay attention and be proactive, so here I am. Taking my own advice.”
I wanted to swing my arms around him and press him to me, to kiss him with the passion of a million kisses and keep him in my embrace for entire lifetimes. And maybe keep my misty eyes from spewing tears. “Sunny! Thank you. That’s so wonderfully sweet of you.”
“I’m aware that I’m quite wonderful.”
“And now you’re back.”
He grinned. Oh, how that brilliant smile lit up my entire world.
“I think I should enjoy my ube alone now.”
He frowned. “The hell. Are you serious?”
I laughed.
“Smart-ass. How about I come in and we can have coffee and turnovers, and if you want, we can talk? About anything that’s on your mind.”
I stepped back to let him in. In true Indian fashion, he removed his shoes, toes to heel so he didn’t touch them.
He followed me to the kitchen counter, where I poured coffee, asking how he took his. But as I replaced the carafe, I felt his body behind mine. It was perceptible, devouring.
He leaned past me, his arm brushing mine to get the cream, dropping a small amount into a mug. And then a big spoonful of sugar.
“Your teeth will rot like that,” I joked, my voice uneven.
Sunny didn’t take the mug, nor did he swirl his coffee. Instead, he hugged me. From behind. My entire body went off in flares, and my heart splattered against my ribs with every notion of love and lust and yearning and need.
I instantly melted against him, my eyelids fluttering closed, and inhaled this moment.
In his guttural voice, he said, “I see why hugs from behind are on your list.”
His arms snaked around my waist. “I hope this is still okay?” His words came out with a pinch of hope, as if he desperately needed me to say, “Yes, we are as we were last week.”
I nodded; I couldn’t speak, could barely breathe. In fact, my legs were turning to mush, and it was a good thing he was holding me because I might, in fact, melt into a puddle of goo.
His lips were at my neck when he confessed, “I really missed you.”
Goose bumps skittered across my flesh at that stupid Denzel voice, even as my body reacted to how my curves fit deliciously against his. “Well, I am a delight.” How I managed an entire sentence was a miracle.
His body shook with a chuckle.
“Think you can just hug me because you brought breakfast?”
“I mean…I did bring home the ube.”
“That’s cheesy.”
“Is it, though? I thought it was sexy.”
I turned into him like a mistake that I was happy to make. We were so close, our chests grazing, and his hands planted on my hips. He was hunched over me, his head lowered like maybe he wanted to kiss me.
I stared at his chest, wishing I could call down my big UX energy and just say what was on my mind.
“Bane.”
I grunted, lifting my gaze to meet his.
He smirked. “I meant babe.”
“What?” I furrowed my brows. I heard his words, knew what he was doing, but my brain couldn’t seem to compute, to align data with the value of its evidence.
He took a large breath and exhaled. “I’m a grown man who can’t seem to express myself as well as I’d like sometimes.”
“True.”
“But I’m learning how, and honestly, you make me want to. You make it easier. You made me realize how much I wanted to open up to you during our time together. And those days together were the best days of my life.”
His gaze dipped to my mouth for a second before he went on. “You’re unlike any woman I’ve known. You make me different. Better. My true self. You let me shine and you enable me to thrive. We may have started out as a lie, but…”
