I wasn’t certain it was going to happen to me. I didn’t want to admit it, but I was beginning to think it wouldn’t.
That happened to some women. They went their whole lives and didn’t find the one.
The man who, just looking at him, made your blood warm.
The man who, when he smiled at you, made your heart skip a beat.
The man who was so attuned to your body, he could use his hands, his mouth, his words, his everything, and make it sing.
Even the first time.
Or, I should say, in Ren’s and my case, the first three times.
And the man who was interesting, charming, maybe a wee bit edgy and mysterious (but that wee bit was way hot and something I liked a whole lot) and made no bones about the fact he was into you—into you in the sense that he wanted to get in you—and that way would last awhile.
That while maybe being forever.
Okay, so last night in the parking lot of Herman’s Hideaway, Ren had fought with Luke, one of the Hot Bunch (in other words, one of my brother’s guys) over my friend Ava.
But then Luke accidently elbowed Ava in the head. They took off in his Porsche and I’d stayed in the parking lot giving Ren what for for being a macho asshole and fighting in a freaking parking lot (I mean, really?). Then I’d noticed he was still pissed. He appeared to give more than a passing shit about Ava (and there was reason for this; she was in the middle of a shitstorm, not unusual with the Rock Chicks) so I decided to get a few drinks in him.
When I offered this suggestion, he stopped being pissed for a second, looked me up and down, and agreed.
This led us to going to My Brother’s Bar where I worked as a bartender. We got a back corner booth and commenced in tying one on.
At first, I avoided the subject of the Luke/Ava/Ren triangle because he seemed to be getting his shit together and I didn’t want it to slide back. Especially if he intended to get shitfaced. I didn’t want to watch another hot guy go gonzo, even verbally, and especially drunkenly, over another one of the Rock Chicks.
That wasn’t my idea of a fun night.
I’d had that when Indy got pursued by Lee.
And when Lee’s best friend Eddie went after my friend Jet.
And when Hank decided, for him, it was Roxie.
And also when another one of Lee’s boys, Vance, locked his sights on a woman we eventually recruited into the Rock Chicks, Jules.
And last, I was currently swimming through the crazy waters of Luke staking his claim with another one of my friends, Ava.
I couldn’t say all this wasn’t exciting—sometimes way exciting, sometimes hilarious, sometimes not a small amount of insane—but the end was always good. The guy got his girl, the girl got her guy, and everyone was happy.
As happy as I was for my friends—and make no mistake, I was happy, and the rides to get to the end of their kickass, modern-day fairytales were all sorts of sick, delicious fun—I was thinking it wasn’t going to happen for me.
But until recently, I’d been going out for a while with Carl, who was a good guy. He was into me, the sex was great, the banter almost better, but something about him just didn’t do it for me.
It didn’t make me look the way Indy looked at Lee, Jet at Eddie, Roxie at Hank (I think you get me).
Like he was it. Like the search was over. Like I’d made the epic journey and found treasure beyond my wildest imaginings.
I didn’t usually think shit like that.
I was a Rock Chick. I had a lot of friends. I had a lot of good times. The concept of “anything goes” was pretty literal for me. I didn’t have issues speaking my mind. And I didn’t have issues creating a drama if the situation deserved it. I also didn’t give a shit if someone disagreed with the situation deserving it.
I was… me.
I wasn’t girlie.
I wasn’t romantic.
I didn’t have fantasies (except those that came while wielding a vibrator).
Let’s just say the knight in shining armor concept did nothing for me.
I also didn’t want the picket fence, the two-point-five kids, the meatloaf in the oven and the snuggle during Letterman that would lead to missionary sex that lasted ten minutes and then dreamless sleep.
But that wasn’t what my Rock Chicks were getting.
They were getting something else. Something big, bold, bountiful and amazing.
For one, I knew all about their sex lives, and missionary was on the menu but it was far from the only choice.
But that wasn’t it. Not even close.
And I was beginning to want a little bit of that for me. So when Carl got accepted into the FBI not too long ago and went off to Virginia to train, he’d asked me to come.
I didn’t go. Instead, I let him go.
It sucked but he wasn’t it for me. I dug him, we had great times.
