“I know,” I told her, and I did. I knew all of Darius’s fucked up sad story.
“Vance also said that this Leon guy, Shirleen’s dead husband, offered Darius a chance at retribution, along with providing for his family, if he got involved in Leon’s business,” Jules went on.
“I know that, too,” I replied. “And he was young and made a stupid decision and got caught up in that. But now he’s not in that anymore, Jules, and hasn’t been for a while. But he acts like…” I shook my head. “I don’t know. Like he doesn’t belong when he does. He always has. When given the chance, and I’ll admit, he didn’t give us many—but he stayed close to Lee and Eddie—but when we had the chance, we always acted like he belonged. Shirleen slid right in. I don’t know why Darius won’t let himself do that. And that’s just it. He won’t let himself.”
A gravelly voice came from our sides, answering my question. “He hasn’t atoned.”
Surprised, I looked up at Duke. And I was not only surprised at what he said, but that he was anywhere near me.
“Can I steal Ally?” he asked Jules.
Oh shit.
“Sure,” Jules answered, eyeing us both.
Duke curved his fingers around my bicep.
I looked at Jules and asked, “Can you just keep a professional eye on Darius? I’m trying to figure out a way to get in there and maybe you can help.”
“No problem,” she said on a smile. “Happy to.”
Duke let me get that in then led me away—far away from the happy, laughing, talking, boisterous crowd to its very edge by the fence gate.
When he stopped us, he took his hand from my arm.
I took a deep breath and looked up at him.
“Duke—”
“Dolores and I had a son,” he announced, and I snapped my mouth shut.
I didn’t know that.
No clue.
Oh fuck.
I didn’t like how this was starting.
“He was on his bike, ridin’ around in the street in front of our house one afternoon, and he was hit by drunk driver.”
Oh fuck.
That I didn’t only not like, I fucking hated it.
“He was eight,” Duke went on.
Oh my God.
“Duke,” I whispered.
“Dolores, she had a time of it throughout the pregnancy, and she was in labor for seventy-eight hours. Finally, both her and my boy in distress, they took him. But I almost lost them both.”
Oh my God.
“So obviously,” he continued. “I wasn’t big on gettin’ her knocked up again. Dolores wanted more. I wouldn’t hear of it.” He stared at me hard. “In the end, he was all we had.”
“I didn’t know,” I said quietly.
“No one does. Except Ellen. That’s why we dropped out. Left Cali. Came home. And probably Lee knows, since he checks out everything. But he also keeps his mouth shut when he needs to.”
I nodded.
“It was afternoon, Ally,” he told me.
“What?” I asked.
“My Joshua got all his bones broke, his insides mashed, his head caved in by some guy who spent his day gettin’ soused and got behind the wheel of a car in the afternoon. What kid can’t be safe ridin’ around on the streets in front of his house in the fuckin’ afternoon?”
I shook my head because I didn’t have the answer to that. “It doesn’t make sense.”
He nodded. “It sure the fuck doesn’t.”
I said nothing.
Duke did. “It wasn’t too late. We could try again. But it broke us, both of us. Nearly lost Dolores. She couldn’t bear any memory of him, even me. But we got past it, left the life we shared with our boy, and decided not to try again. But it left a hole, Ally. A hole that I didn’t think could be filled, losin’ my kid, not havin’ another one. I bloody gaping hole.”
“I get that,” I whispered.
