“I have you. I’m happy despite being sad. Does that make sense?”
“It does.” He strokes his thumb up and down the back of my hand. “What would you like to do tonight? Watch a movie? You said I still need to watch …” He scrunches up his face. “What was it?”
“Bridgerton. And it’s a show, by the way.” I shake my head. “I can’t believe you’d be willing to watch it with me. It’s a romance.”
“I love you. I’m not afraid of romance.”
“How do you do it?”
“Do what?” he asks.
“One moment, you’re my big, scary husband. And the next moment, you’re sweet and kind. How do you do it?”
“I finally let my heart open back up again. And I’m still big and scary. Don’t let any of my men think otherwise.”
I zip my fingers over my lips. “Mum’s the word.”
He chuckles as he leans over to kiss me. “I’m holding you to it.”
I let his lips linger on mine before deepening the kiss. Mikhail gently grabs my waist and pulls me into his lap, where he traces his fingers along my hips.
I know at this moment that I want to be with him again. My body never stopped singing for him. The shock of what I had to do has begun to wear off a little. The silence over Mary’s death has subsided. I know I’m ready again.
“Mikhail,” I gasp when he draws his lips down my throat. My hands clutch his back, my fingers digging into his shirt.
He growls softly. “I wanted to fuck you the moment you were safe in my arms, but I didn’t want to push you. How do you feel now?”
I say the words that feel fully and completely right. “I need you.”
Without a word, Mikhail carries me in his arms up to our bedroom, where he lays me gently onto the bed. For all the times he was rough and demanding with my body, the fact that he’s gentle this time makes me almost cry from happiness.
Mikhail keeps his eyes locked on mine as he slips off my dress and then unclasps my bra. When he kneels before me and grabs the edges of my underwear, I am breathless. Kissing my stomach, he rips them down, making me gasp. Ok, so, not completely gentle.
My hands scrabble at his shirt, practically tearing it off him as I stand back up. Mikhail kisses me deeply as our fingers collide over his belt buckle, each of us desperate to be naked together. He smiles against my lips, his fingers unzipping his pants and pushing them down.
I gasp when he lifts me into his arms, making me wrap my legs around him as we lie on the bed. I expect Mikhail to grab my hips and enter me like he always does …
… but instead, he rolls onto his back. “I want you to be on top tonight.”
Mikhail has always been in control of our sex life. It’s what I’ve always needed.
He’s showing me right now that he still knows what I need. After everything I’ve been through, I have felt out of control. He’s offering me the chance to take my own control back by being on top.
“Ok,” I whisper, straddling his hips. His erection brushes my entrance, making me tremble. “I’ve never done this before.”
“I’ll teach you.” He grips my hips. “Follow my lead.”
Then he pulls me down onto his length, entering me in one smooth motion. The sensation is so overpowering that I can’t hold back my moan. Mikhail’s eyes are dark with lust … and love. He’s gazing up at me like I’m the most beautiful woman in the world.
Slowly, I shift my hips forward, getting used to this new position. Mikhail hisses, tightening his hold on my waist. I place my hands on his chest to steady myself before I begin to let go.
The more confident I get, the faster I move my hips back and forth. “Mikhail,” I gasp, grinding my body down.
He growls deeply in his throat as he sits up, bringing our chests together, and kisses me hard. I kiss him back just as eagerly.
Mikhail wraps his arms around me. I’ve never felt safer in my entire life.
Our kiss is frantic and wild. We’ve never really kissed during sex before, and doing it this time only reminds me of how far we’ve come. There’s no more distance between us.
Only desire.
And love.
Every thrust of our hips together sends a spike of pleasure through me. I’m getting closer and closer.
“Mikhail,” I whisper against his lips. “I love you.”
He locks his eyes with mine. “I love you.”
It’s the right amount to send me over the edge.
I moan, and my head drops back as my body trembles. Mikhail doesn’t let me go once.
He continues to pull my body down until he finally comes. I love the way his hands tighten on my body before relaxing.
We’re both breathing heavily as we slump back onto the bed.
“How was that?” he asks.
