As I peruse my closet, I opt for a skirt and a sleeveless top. It’s July, and it’s hot in this city.
I stare at my reflection. Should I wear my hair up or down? What’s the proper hairstyle for having drinks with the woman who shared the same man with you, unbeknownst to each other?
But it doesn’t matter how I wear my hair. Tonight isn’t about the odd connection we share. Tonight isn’t about him.
It’s about what she found of mine, and I can’t wait.
I’m laughing so hard I’m crying.
“Oh God, stop. You have to stop,” I say between breaths at the café. “I can’t take it anymore.”
My one-time sister-wife runs a hand through her thick brown hair as she tells me a story about a book she just acquired at the publishing house she oversees in Barcelona. It’s a collection of essays about men who love cats. It’s absurd and the sheer absurdity is cracking us up. “And the best thing about men who love cats is they have learned to respect your moods. What could be better training for moods than a feline?”
I chuckle as I lift my glass of red, returning to the last time I had drinks with her. It was like discovering I had a long-lost twin. We’d compared notes about all the strange things we’d had in common our whole lives. Now, we’re talking about cats, and work, and life. Diana feels like she could be a friend, if she lived in town. “So, how are you doing? Are you well?”
A smile spreads on her face as she takes a drink of iced tea. “Yes, and I’m getting married again.”
My jaw drops. “Seriously?”
She pats her belly. “The reason I ordered no wine tonight? I’m three months pregnant.”
I reach across the tiny table and give her a hug. “Congratulations! I'm so happy for you. What’s he like?”
With a wry smile, Diana lifts a brow and whispers sardonically, “He’s honest.”
We both crack up.
“He also likes cats, but not so much he’d write an essay about them.”
“That’s excellent. That’s all you really need.”
She raises her index finger. “Honesty, chemistry, and a loyalty to felines that’s in line with my own. We have all those in spades.”
“I’ll drink double for both of us, then.”
“What about you? Have you met anyone? I see you have a ring,” she says, as if it’s a secret I’m waiting to spill.
And it kind of is.
I stare at my wedding band, and on the surface, the story is too crazy to tell. But those details aren’t what matter most. It’s what’s behind them. “I met someone, and he’s wonderful. He makes me happy in a way I didn’t think I could be happy again. But sometimes I’m scared to fully surrender to the way I feel for him,” I admit, taking a deep breath. “How did you let go of the fear?”
She brings her hands together and imitates diving. “You jump off the cliff.”
“That’s it?” I ask. She makes it sound so simple.
“You let go of it by letting go of it. It’s hard, and it’s easy at the same time.” She dips her hand into her purse. “And here is this little item. I’m glad it’s returning to its rightful owner.”
I rub my palms eagerly. I never thought it would find its way to me again. I still won’t believe it till I verify it with my own two eyes. “Yes, come to mama.”
Diana laughs. “I was sorting through my old boxes, and I came across it in one of his jackets. I remembered you had worn one that was similar last time I saw you, and that’s why I reached out. I thought you might want it.”
She opens her palm, and I gasp. My heart cartwheels as I reach for the cheap, faux-silver chain with a taxicab charm on it. “I can’t believe you found it.” I stare at the necklace in wonder. It means nothing, and it means everything. It’s just a thing, but it’s a thing that’s come home. “My brother gave this to me years ago. I had it for most of my life, and I never knew what happened to it.”
Diana shrugs happily. “Maybe fate wanted you to have it again.”
There’s that word again. Fate. Does fate have anything to do with the whereabouts of a necklace my brother gave me when I was six? Does fate have any role in anything?
When I put it on, I don’t think of my brother. I think of Christian, and I want to tell him that maybe I do believe in fate. Just a little bit. Maybe I do believe we were meant to meet again. Maybe this necklace was meant to come back to me. Maybe everything in my life has led me to this moment. To the realization that all I have to do to find happiness is step off the cliff.
When we’re done and it’s time to say goodbye, I hug her tightly. “I’m glad you found this, and I’m thrilled to have it again.” I tug her closer. “Good luck, Diana. I want you to have a beautiful life.”
“I want the same for you.”
A lump rises in my throat. I never thought I’d be here today, on the other side. The side of letting go, of being free. But as I walk away, touching my taxicab charm, I’m sure that’s exactly where I am.
I’m heading to New York tomorrow, and tonight I want to see Christian. I call him.
“Hello?”
I flinch at the voice on the other end of the line. “Erik?”
“Sorry, yeah. I answered his phone. I just returned home from a long run and he’s sound asleep.”
“Oh,” I say, my heart plunging into disappointment. “He must have been tired.”
“He’s zonked. How are you?”
