“Ouch.”
“You set me up!”
“I know, but you asking me for a suit was the most absurd thing you’ve ever done, and you’ve done some absurd things.”
“Like what? Name one.”
“Like the time you wanted to attend a circus class.”
“I still want to learn to juggle.”
That sends us down a rabbit hole discussion of circus skills we’d most want to possess—she picks fire-eating and I choose trapeze.
But in the end, Mariana tells me she’s glad I chose chocolate. “You’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because of your sweet caramel center,” she says with a wink.
“What’s yours made of?”
“Steel and vitriol.”
“Have I mentioned I never want to go up against you in a court of law?”
When our class is over and we’ve made plans to do it again a few days later, my head is officially clear.
Clear of that kiss.
Clear of last night.
Clear of this bizarre new phase in my life where I’m suddenly wildly attracted to Leo Hennessy.
He’s always been interesting, kind, and clever.
He’s always been smart and easy to talk to.
And he’s definitely always been handsome. I’m not blind, and I wasn’t before Lasik either. I know he’s hot, just like I know Chris Hemsworth could swindle the panties off any woman, but I don’t want to jump him. Wait, that’s not true. Chris Hemsworth is everyone’s hall pass.
Be that as it may, I never thought of Leo in a romantic way.
My eyes were laser-focused on Tripp, my heart belonging 100 percent to the man I married.
Given how it ended, given how it all spiraled downhill, do I regret my choice to love him?
No.
I learned resilience from my marriage. I learned I wasn’t responsible for other people’s choices. I discovered that I couldn’t fix another person, no matter how hard I tried.
Tripp is my past. Tripp is behind me. I’ve made peace with my marriage, with what it was and what it was not. That’s why I don’t harbor any guilt over Leo.
This issue is different.
It’s how he fits into my life.
As I return to my apartment and shower, I contemplate if he fits into my life now that I have room to breathe, to plan, and to grow my business. Do I fling all those ingredients to the floor to indulge in a newfound lust?
But this isn’t lust.
It’s so much more.
Leo is the guy who shows up.
Leo is the guy who will be there.
The recipe of feelings plus Leo equals the real deal.
The trouble is timing.
I’m finally free to live my life on my terms, and those terms include my partnership with his company.
As I rinse off, step out of the shower, and grab a towel, I don’t know that I can fit the real deal in my life at this moment.
A heavy blanket of sadness falls over me. But along with that sadness comes something new.
Determination.
