I shudder.

“Guilt also makes it impossible to move forward. And you’re not someone who can’t move forward. Are you?”

I shake my head, but even so, a slab of worry slams into my stomach. “But I’m scared.”

“What are you scared of? Being with Leo? Because it sure sounds like he might feel the same way you do.”

“I’m scared I’m still the same girl I was before.”

“What girl was that?”

I let all the fears spill from my mouth in a wild heap. “The poet, the dreamer, the one who listens to her heart, not her head. I’ve always been that girl. What if I haven’t changed? What if I haven’t learned? What if I’m still her?”

Cameron runs a hand over my arm, comforting me. “Look at you in your emerald-green dress making truffles for a company called Heavenly. Telling your best friend not to wear Birkenstocks to the opera tonight. Listening to Corinne Bailey Rae as you make something decadently sweet. You’re a big red beating heart on the sleeve. You’re probably always going to be that woman. But is she such a bad person to be?”

The image he paints is lovely, and I want to crawl into it, curl up, and live inside it. Still, worry is a superhero tonight, with super strength. “But shouldn’t I be someone who makes decisions with her head?”

“Some people make decisions with their head, some with their gut, and some with their heart. If I look back on the last ten years of your life, I’d still see a fierce warrior. I’d see an iron strength. And I’d say, too, that your heart’s been in the right place.” He taps my sternum. “Maybe it’s not such a bad idea to lead with your heart.”

Mine thumps loudly, bursting with gratitude for my friend. “Have I mentioned I love you?”

He winks. “A few times. Also, I love you just the way you are. And I think love is always worth a chance, even when you’ve already been through the fire.” He tilts his head, studying me. “But promise me one thing.”

“What’s that?”

He levels me with his gaze, a shade of intensity I’ve never seen before blazing across his eyes. “Don’t ever settle for second best. You wound up playing that part with your ex, and it’s a part you never knew you were going to have to take on. Hell, you weren’t even the understudy, but it’s the role you were unexpectedly cast in when his mistress became his true love.”

My throat squeezes, tightening with tears. “I know.”

“You stood by him. You helped him. But you were never his first. This time around? You deserve to be someone’s first and someone’s only. Got that, Lu?”

I swallow the tears whole, lifting my chin, letting his strength fuel me. “I believe that.”

After Cameron says good night, I finish the batch of truffles, singing along to the music, imagining the night unfolding, letting the riot in my heart lead me on.

A little later, my phone pings with a note from Leo, telling me he’s outside.

I’m buzzed with anticipation, floating on a cloud of possibility as I wipe my chocolate-covered hands on my red polka-dot apron and answer the door.

29LEO

If I looked back and listed the moments of the last twenty-four hours on a spreadsheet, detailing the specific points that led me here, like running a hand through wet, freshly-showered hair, adjusting my collar in the mirror, and putting on aftershave, I suppose I would have to start with choices.

The choice to tell her I couldn't stop thinking about her.

The choice to say yes when she invited me over.

The choice to text with her earlier.

But, truth be told, I suppose I’ve always known, if given the chance, I would do this. I would walk right into whatever opportunity she gave me.

I leave my apartment, reach the shop, and text her that I’m here, wild anticipation curling through me.

Seconds later, she comes into view, all green and curly blonde and bright, a splash of color and exuberance.

She wears a smile like it’s a tattoo, and her smile jumps through the glass and lands in my hands.

She opens the door, lets me in, then locks it. Grabbing my hand, she tugs me behind the counter to the back of the shop, out of sight of the windows. She sits me down in a chair, spins around like a whirling dervish, then hands me a tray with chocolates.

“Try this.” A truffle meets my lips, and I take a bite. It melts on my tongue. Pineapple, coconut, and chocolate spread into my mouth, chased by a dash of I-have-a-secret-to-share-with-you. I groan in pleasure. “It’s delicious.”

“I made it for you, birthday boy.”

“So I get birthday chocolate from the chocolatier?”

“Of course. You deserve all the sweets. But there are more at my place.”

My place.

The invitation hovers in the air, flashing like a billboard.

“I bet this chocolate tastes good on your hands too.” I reach for her finger, and I lick the rest of the chocolate off. Her eyes seem to float closed, and when she opens them, she sways toward me. “Leo, you can’t do that in here.”

“Why not?” I reach for another finger and lick the chocolate from that too, slowly, enjoying every inch of Lulu and sweetness.

“Because it’s going to drive me too crazy.”

“Is that what you want? To be driven crazy?”

I draw one more finger to my mouth.

She moans. “I think you know what I want.”

“I do know.”

My entire body is buzzed from this heady knowledge. It’s like I’m both living and watching this moment. The me that’s watching is staring in disbelief. The me that’s living it is thinking how it’s so much better than all those years of fantasies.

And I want to live in the moment. The absolutely real and surreal moment of licking chocolate off Lulu. I stand, gesturing to her hair. “Take your hair down.”

She unclips her locks. They fall in wild corkscrew curls around her face.

“Take off your apron.”

She does as asked, setting it down on the counter behind her. “Do you want me to take off my dress?”

I gaze heavenward. “Happy birthday to me.”

She laughs. “So that’s a yes?”