“I do,” I agree. “Just remember you said that when it comes time to tell them what’s going on under their noses.”
His answer is barely a grunt.
“I have to go—”
“I’m pissed that you hid it from me,” he interrupts. “But I’m livid that you’ve put your life at risk for me. That’s not something I can handle.”
“It’s not at risk. I can trust her.” I reach for the door handle, and he steps aside. His mouth tightens with anger, but it’s the flash of fear in his eyes that makes me pause. If I had a way of knowing he was just a little safer in Samara, I would want it. Even if he’s being an ass. “Fine. You can come with me if you agree not to scare her.”
“I can’t control her feelings.” He scoffs.
I arch a single brow.
“I just want to meet her.” He lifts his hands, palms outward.
“So you can see if she’s trustworthy? By looking at her? Even you aren’t that powerful.” I open the door and step out into the hallway. “Let’s go.”
“I’ll know. I’m an incredible judge of character.” He walks out after me, pulling the door closed.
“Your ego really is boundless.” We start down the hall and turn right into the central corridor. “And just because I’m letting you come doesn’t mean I’m not still pissed at you.”
“Same.” He puts his hand on the small of my back when we pass a group of cadets.
“You don’t have to touch me for them to think you have a reason to be here. Everyone knows that we…”
“Knows that we what? You’ve been pretty damned clear that we’re not together.”
Wait…is that hurt in his voice? I hate the way my ire dulls. It’s easier to live in the anger.
We head down the central staircase, winding our way past the ground floor, where most cadets branch off, and into the sublevel of the quadrant.
It’s a maze of tunnels down here, but I know my way well enough.
“You would never sit here and do nothing when you could help. Asking me to do differently is just…insulting,” I whisper to him once I know we’re alone in the tunnels. “I’m smart enough to handle myself in the Archives.”
“I never said you weren’t brilliant. I never even said your plan wasn’t brilliant. I said you’re putting yourself in danger and I’m just asking you to be honest with me.” Mage lights flicker on as we make our way toward the covered bridge that spans the canyon between the Riders Quadrant and the main college. “Varrish pushed you to near-fucking-burnout, and you didn’t tell me that, either.” His jaw works. “Or that you wielded in the middle of the courtyard after Battle Brief.”
“How did you know?” I hadn’t mentioned Varrish in the letter I’d left for him.
“You didn’t think Bodhi would tell me?” His shadows stream forward, opening the door, and we head across the enclosed bridge. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the casual way he uses his power.
“I hoped he wouldn’t,” I admit.
“That’s the shit you need to tell me, Violet.”
“What would you have done? Flown back here and killed him? He’s the vice commandant.”
“I debated it.” He opens the next set of doors the same way.
“Bodhi has miraculously found reasons for our squad to miss maneuvers,” I tell him as we walk into the main campus, passing the infirmary.
“And how long is that going to work? We’re twice as likely to find a solution if you tell me what’s going—” Xaden’s head snaps forward and he grabs me by the waist, stopping in the middle of the hallway.
But we’ve already been seen.
“Put your shields back up.”
“It’s Nolon,” I point out but raise them anyway as guilt nips at me for letting them fall in the first place. I keep hoping for the moment Xaden promises is coming, where it’s second nature, but so far, it’s maximum effort to keep them in place.
“Nolon?” My jaw drops at how much weight the mender has lost. His skin hangs as loosely as his black uniform, and his eyes are missing their usual spark when he tries to smile at me.
“Violet. It’s good to see you.” He glances at Xaden, his gaze falling to the arm wrapped protectively around my waist. “Did you draw back because you’re under the assumption that I’m going to harm the young woman I’ve been mending for the last six years, Riorson? Or is it that you think no one knows that you two spend all your time together on the days either of you has leave? Because I assure you, I would never endanger Violet, and everyone already knows.”
I step out of Xaden’s arms. “What are you doing standing in the middle of the hallway? You look like you’re ready to drop.”
“You’re on it with the compliments today.”
Clearly, I need better shields if it’s that easy for Xaden to slip in again.
“Waiting for someone.” Nolon scratches a few days’ growth of beard on his jaw. “And I suppose I could use some rest. It’s hard work, mending a soul. Been at it for months now.” His smile lifts on one side, but I can’t tell if he’s joking or not. “You’ve been well so far this year? I haven’t been called to mend you.”
“I’m all right. I subluxated my shoulder a couple of weeks ago and—” I don’t know if he’s as close to Varrish as my friends have hypothesized. The thought gives me pause and keeps me from mentioning the burnout. “And I’ve been really good about keeping my knees wrapped. No broken bones yet, either.”
“Good.” Nolon nods as the door behind us opens. “That’s good.”
“I’m here!” Caroline Ashton races forward, passing us on the left. “Sorry I’m late!”
“Punctuality is appreciated,” Nolon lectures her before looking my way. “Do us both a favor and stay healthy, Violet.”
