“Not now,” Bodhi practically growls. “She saved your fucking life. She saved all our lives.”
But I didn’t. Soleil and…Liam are dead.
“Her blood is fucking black,” Xaden snaps and his arms tighten, holding me to his chest.
“It has to be poison,” Imogen cries—a sound I’ve never heard from her. “Look at it! We have to get her back to Basgiath. Nolon might be able to help.”
Yes. Nolon. They need to take me to Nolon. But I can’t say it, can’t make my lips move, can’t even reach out along the mental pathways that have become as familiar to me as breathing. Being cut off from Tairn, from Andarna…from Xaden is a torture all on its own.
“That’s a twelve-hour flight.” Xaden’s voice rises. “And I’m pretty sure her arm is broken.”
I’ll be dead in twelve hours. The promise of sweet oblivion already hovers at the edge of my consciousness, a promise of peace if I agree to just let go.
“There’s somewhere closer,” Xaden says quietly, and I feel his fingers skim over my cheek. The motion is unnervingly tender.
Another wave of fire consumes me, singeing every nerve, but all I can do is lie there and take it.
Make it stop. Gods, make it stop.
“You can’t be serious.” Someone’s voice lowers to a hiss.
“You’ll put everything at risk,” Garrick warns as sleep tugs at me, the only escape from the searing pain.
Tairn bellows so loudly, my rib cage vibrates. At least he’s close.
“I wouldn’t say that again,” Imogen mutters, “or he’ll probably eat you. And don’t forget, if she dies, there’s a damn good chance Xaden does, too.”
“I’m not saying he shouldn’t, just reminding him what the stakes are,” Garrick replies.
Can Tairn feel the disconnect between us? Is he suffering the same way I am? Was the sword poisoned, too? Can Andarna fly? Or does she need to sleep?
Sleep. That’s what I want. Cool, blissful, empty sleep.
“I don’t give a fuck what happens to me!” Xaden yells at someone. “We are going and that’s an order.”
“No need for orders, man. We’ll save her.” That’s Bodhi. I think.
“Live up to your nickname and fight this, Violence,” Xaden whispers against my ear. Then he says louder, to someone farther away, “We have to get her to him. We ride.” I feel the shift as he begins to walk, but the agony of movement against the wound is too much, and I fade into blackness.
…
Hours pass before I wake again. Maybe seconds. Maybe days. Maybe it’s forever and I’ve been sentenced to an eternity of torture by Malek for my sheer recklessness, but I can’t bring myself to regret saving them.
Maybe it’s better if I die. But then Xaden might die.
Whatever is wedged between us right now, I don’t want him dead. I’ll never want that.
A steady rush of wind at my face and the rhythmic beat of wings tells me we’re flying, and it takes all the energy I have to lift a single eyelid as we pass over the Cliffs of Dralor. The thousand-foot drop is unmistakable. It’s what made the Tyrrish rebellion not only possible but nearly successful.
The poison scorches every vein, every nerve ending in my body as it runs through me unchecked, slowing my heartbeat. Even the irony that I’m going to die by poison, something I have unparalleled knowledge of, can’t make me muster the energy to speak, to offer any thoughts on an antidote. How can I when I don’t even know what’s been used on me? Until a few hours ago, I didn’t even know venin existed outside fables, and now there’s nothing but pain and death.
It’s only a matter of time, and mine is short.
…
Death would be preferable to existing for another second in this pyre of a body, but it’s apparently a mercy I’m not allowed as I’m jostled awake.
Air. There’s not enough air. My lungs struggle to inhale.
“You’re sure about this?” Imogen asks.
Each step Xaden takes brings a new wave of agony that starts in my side and ripples through my whole body.
“Stop fucking asking him that,” Garrick snaps. “He made his decision. Support him or get the fuck out, Imogen.”
“And it’s a bad one,” another man retorts.
“When you have a hundred and seven scars on your back, then you get to make the fucking decisions, Ciaran,” Bodhi snarls.
Tairn’s roar startles me, and I twitch, which only intensifies the already indescribable torture racking my body now.
“What was that?” Garrick asks from somewhere to the left.
“He basically said that he’ll cook me alive if I fail,” Xaden replies, holding me closer. I guess that part of the bond is still in place. My cheek falls against his shoulder, and I swear I feel him brush a kiss over my forehead, but that can’t be right.
You don’t keep secrets from someone you care about, let alone secrets that are going to cost me my life any second if the stuttering beat of my heart is any indication.
It’s struggling to pump the liquid fire that’s cauterizing my veins.
