At her grandma’s direction, she allowed her breathing to be slow and even. Focusing on the center of her chest, she repeatedly called her power forward. Begging, asking for it to come to her aid. Please. I need you now more than ever.
A deep discomfort settled in Jessica’s chest. It felt like a boulder had been strapped to her, and she had just been told to go run a marathon. She resisted the instinct to flee from the discomfort and let her grandma’s words guide her through it. Once again, she called for it.
And there it was. Inside her, there was a hum, the current of energy made of warmth and light. It coursed through her veins, filling her with an energy and a vitality she had never felt before. It was like she had just chugged three energy drinks with none of the heart palpitations.
“Good, very good. Now we can put it to work,” Maureen said. Without warning, Maureen pulled a small knife from her pocket and cut her own arm.
“Jesus Christ, Grandma!” Jessica swore.
Maureen didn’t seem to heed her granddaughter’s alarm. Instead, she looked at Jessica and expectantly held her bleeding arm.
“Try healing the cut by touching my arm,” Maureen instructed. Jessica tentatively touched the arm. She felt the sting of the cut as if her own body was injured. She focused on the warm, glowing sensations she felt at her center. As the blood coagulated and the skin fused, she felt almost giddy. Why had she been so afraid of this power for so long? The more she used it, the lighter and happier she felt.
“Good, now try without touching me,” Maureen said as she made another cut along her arm.
“How?” Jessica asked.
“Imagine that your power is a beam of energy leaving your body, then project that beam at me.”
Jessica did as instructed. She imagined the light leaving her body and washing over her grandmother. Guiding her body to heal as if she was directly touching her. Soon the second cut began to heal.
Jessica couldn’t believe how light she felt. It was as if she could soar away from this bleak desert and go anywhere in the world. She was free, and she was changed.
“Excellent! I knew that your powers would be strong! Keep going, find the center of it,” Maureen cried. Jessica frowned. She thought she had found it.
“I don’t understand,” she said.
“You need to look deeper. Right inside your heart, the very core of your power.”
So once again, Jessica closed her eyes. It wasn’t as easy as before. When she tried, she felt like she was just slamming into a brick wall. The more she tried, the harder it felt, like she kept hitting the wall harder and harder.
“I can’t do it,” Jessica groaned, her concentration evaporating like mist.
“Yes, you can. At this point, the only thing that’s blocking you is yourself, sweet pea.”
Jessica groaned, but she shut her eyes and tried again. The only thing blocking me is myself. So what exactly am I blocking? Maybe, if she tried to understand herself like she understood the pain of others, she could find the answer.
So she searched. Whatever was blocking her had to be there for a reason. If she could find the reason, she could find a way around the blockage.
The more she searched, the more she could see it. There were a lot of barriers that were around her heart. Some she was surprised to find that she had put there herself. Ever since she lost her mom, there were many things she had repressed. She wanted nothing to do with the power that seemingly took her mother away from her.
In an ironic twist, she thought it was her power that was reinforcing the barrier, as if it was there to protect her from all the pain of dealing with her unresolved feelings or her fear of connecting closely with people. She had even put up a new barrier right when Roman was starting to make her believe that being in love with someone might not be a bad idea.
But Roman wasn’t her mother. He hadn’t left her. She had left him because she was afraid of getting hurt. But now Roman needed her.
She pushed past the discomfort. She put the wall there, she could get over it. Opening herself up to the love she had for Roman, the confidence she felt mere moments ago using her powers more intently than ever before.
A rush of warmth flooded her skin. She found the center of her heart. There it was, a pure radiant energy that cackled like a fire. She was filled with warmth and light. It was there for her to control and mold as she saw fit. She opened her eyes and was surprised that the glow wasn’t just symbolic. Her skin absolutely shimmered.
Maureen’s eyes glistened with tears as she met Jessica’s gaze. Without words, she got up and embraced Jessica in a tight hug.
“You’re ready,” she said. There was so much Jessica wanted to say to Maureen, but the lump in her throat wouldn’t let the words flow.
“I need to get back in there and find Roman,” Jessica said. Maureen nodded, and the two made their way back to the room. Most of the group turned their heads curiously, but there was no hostility in the room. Well, except for Arabella.
“Oh look, the useless human is back,” Arabella sneered. Before Jessica could make any kind of comeback, Maureen crossed over the room and stood before Arabella, shoulders squared, and chin held up.
“Don’t talk about my granddaughter that way unless you want to see the back end of a cane. Vampire or human, I’ll give you the worst beatdown of your lifetime.”
Jessica could hardly believe the words that came out of Maureen’s mouth. Arabella bared her fangs at Maureen, but a cough silenced her.
“Ahem. If you are both quite finished, we have some news that might lead to answers about Roman’s whereabouts.” The older vampire snapped his fingers, and someone brought in a laptop.
“Turns out they had little spies here at Muse. But they were sloppy and got caught trying to erase the security footage,” Xavier said as he set down the laptop. He pulled up a video and the room watched in silence.
Roman had stormed out of his room in a rage, cursing and punching the wall. Sometime after Jessica yelled at him, Roman had apparently gone to a nearby hotel with which Muse shared a parking garage. While inside the hotel, he had somehow been ambushed by the humans and dragged unconscious into a vehicle waiting in the parking garage. Then the video screeched off into the unknown.
Jessica couldn’t bear to look at the whole video. If she had never yelled at Roman, he wouldn’t have been ambushed. He would still be there, safe and sound. This was all her fault.
“Good news, that exonerates you, human. The bad news is that we are back to square one,” Xavier pinched the bridge of his nose. Jessica avoided looking at him. Looking at how much they were worried about Roman made her feel even worse.
“Not necessarily. My granddaughter and I can help you find him,” Maureen said, squaring her chin. A murmur went around the room, and many vampires wore doubtful expressions. Maureen ignored them and turned her focus to Jessica.
“Ignore everyone else in the room. Focus on Roman. How you feel for him. That will connect you to him no matter how far away he is” Maureen instructed.
Once again, they sat cross-legged on the floor. Unlike last time, when Maureen let Jessica figure it out on her own, this time, Maureen guided every small step. How Jessica breathed, how to draw her focus outside her own body.
For a moment, Jessica felt as if she was floating far away. Until someone had the nerve to cough, and she came crashing back down. She tried again but even without interruption, she found it difficult to hone in on Roman. No matter how much she tried to leave her own body, it fought against her.
