Sassi rolls her neck with tension. “There is nothing easy about this. Damned if we do and damned if we don’t.”
“Is it not more important to clear her name so that she has a chance?” Kenichi begs. “It is time to go. Time to see Gyre.”
“Let them arrest me. I don’t care,” I say. The anger rises in my chest and comes out before I can stop it.
“You don’t know what you’re saying,” Briston says with compassion.
Kenichi lifts his hand in the air, “Men and women, more powerful, more capable than you, have come out of the Cellar nothing like when they went in. Demons haunting them day and night until they have no peace. If you go to the Cellar, there is no chance of bringing you back the same. Not as weak as you stand before me. We meet Gyre tonight.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
I stand alone with my arms wrapped around me, trying desperately to calm my shaking hands. My room in Kenichi’s house has been my sanctuary for the last hour, waiting to meet Gyre. Outside a beautiful blue bird continues to sweep back and forth in the sky above the flower garden, never actually touching down to the safety of the earth. Again and again he nearly lands only to quickly ascend into the clouds. How strange that my feet are firmly planted on solid ground, yet I have never been so lost.
“It’s time to go.” Arek’s unexpected voice stirs the nerves within me.
“Why did I go in front of the Powers with Mak?” I ask.
It takes Arek longer than expected to respond. “To find out if they approved of your engagement.”
“Our engagement?” Finally, I turn to him, my surprise clearly showing on my face. “And?”
“They didn’t agree.”
“He wasn’t my Yovu?”
“They didn’t believe so. You weren’t allowed to marry him. It wasn’t by choice. The Powers are careful of who they allow to combine. A fusion of Bloodlines or Elite are often frowned upon. But no, I don’t believe he belonged to you. It’s one of the only times I’ve agreed with the Prophets and Powers.” It is painfully obvious that Arek doesn’t care to be talking about this.
“And Aita clearly feels the same.”
Arek grinds his teeth together and an irritation creeps into his voice. “Aita was promised that Mak would one day marry her. You stood in the way for many years.”
He shifts uncomfortably. For the first time the ability to read his discomfort is no different than taking a breath.
“Arek, he’s not the same as you,” I say. He reaches his hand out to touch the hem of my shirt. “His touch doesn’t feel the same as yours.” I hope that he will accept my assurance, yet he says nothing. “Will Gyre take every memory? Will I lose that feeling you give me?”
Arek closes the distance between us with sound steps and places his palms on my cheeks. Instantly my skin springs to attention to be closer to his, as sparks rush through me until my body is on fire. He drops his head, but stops just inches from my lips, seeming to question whether he should continue. Without warning, a tear falls down my cheek and wraps around his thumb, so he pulls my forehead to his lips, kissing me gently. My heart pounds against my chest when he moves ever so slowly to reach my lips but doesn’t finish. Every place he has already touched still carries the remnants of him. It takes him so long to come just two inches closer, which gives me time to study the fight in his eyes. Arek wants Remy, not me. He wants the woman he called wife, fought beside, and loved for the length of many Epheme lifetimes. How can we be the same, but not the same?
Our eyes lock during his battle, while I wish for the end. Finally, he submits to it and his lips drop onto mine. The pressure of his kiss travels from my lips through my chest, igniting every inch of me. When his hand drops to my waist and then wraps around me, slightly pulling my hair that hangs down my back, my knees crumple into him. It is impossible to resist wrapping my arms around him and letting him lift me to my toes.
Something within me vacillates from panic to hope that he might finally accept that Remy possibly won’t return.
“Gyre is not here to remove your memory. They will work on slowing its return,” Arek explains.
“They?” I ask.
“Gyre is so ancient and powers so complex that identifying them as man or woman is irrelevant. You’ll understand when you see them.”
“It’s time to go.” Peter’s voice whispers from the doorway.
Arek pulls his lips away just an inch, but he doesn’t let go while his eyes search my face.
“Is she me?” I whisper.
He grins, then nods. My skin still feels swollen. Peter must have disappeared down the hall while Arek took his time letting go.
“You’re asking me to—” I whisper, but he interrupts.
“—I’m asking you to give yourself the best chance at freedom,” he quietly admits.
“Forgetting you is not freedom.”
“Well, then it’s a good thing you don’t remember me yet and it won’t be forever.” He finally succumbs to a smile even though it is weighted with truth.
\/\/\/
We chase the sunset down the winding hills of Japan. Somehow the car becomes a suffocating tomb, my anxiety wrapping around me like a dense gauze, so I quickly roll the window down and let the air blow on my face. When it becomes too dark to see the jungle, the rainforest comes to life in sound. Beneath the croak of a family of frogs, the encompassing chirp of birds winding down, and somewhere off in the distance the holler of monkeys is the tranquil sound of water running. I breathe in a large wavy breath hoping that it will open the passageways through my clamped chest.
We roll to a stop, but I look around before jumping out of the car just as everyone else does. Kilon opens my door quickly, revealing a mossy, flat rock path at our feet that will take us deep within the jungle. Like an organized procession, everyone surrounds me as we trek up the mountainside and it is hard to ignore their concern or the fact that most of them keep their hands securely positioned over their concealed weapons. Within a few minutes it sounds like I have run a marathon, yet no one else is winded. The elliptical sitting in my San Francisco apartment during the last few years seems to have been a waste of time, when really all I need is to figure out their secrets.
A mile in the dark trudging over slippery rock and moist ground takes us beyond a path. How does anyone know where we are going or how to find our way back? I panic when a sticky web larger than a blanket my mother crocheted for me attaches to my face and arm. Arek shines a light and quickly knocks the spider off my shoulder. I don’t see its size, but the sound of it landing on the ground reminds me of my cat jumping from the roof. Arek grins when he sees my wide eyes.
“It’s gone,” he assures me.
The excessive moisture in the air mixes with our layers of sweat turning our shirts damp and our extremities wet. The crew keeps their lights focused ahead when finally, a small structure appears between two old scraggly trees with lazy branches that lean all the way to the ground. Half of the place is made within a cave, but the other half is made of stone and bamboo extending out beyond the cave’s opening. A flickering orange glow comes from a small square but tilted window.
The mood is somber as everyone casts their eyes upon it, while my heart races faster than my thoughts.
Geo turns to Arek. “I’ll see how they wishes to see her.” In a few minutes he returns, calling for Kenichi and Mak.
