DERIK

L eaning with one hand on the wall of the shower, the hot water running

down my body, I curse silently, relieving myself as the memory from last

night torments my mind. Finding Natalie curled naked in my arms early this morning made me feel a mix of lust, guilt, satisfaction…and oddly…a sense of peace and happiness.

I pant with heavy breaths as I firmly stroke my arousal with quick motions.

When did I become such a bastard to even think of ever defiling her?

I groan as a generous load of semen erupts from my cock. Unfortunately, it isn’t enough to satiate me as the alluring sound of her voice and visions of the night before flash through my memory. I know we’ve crossed a line, and there’s no turning back.

I desperately search my mind for some way to correct my mistake.

I have witnessed Natalie blossom into a beautiful, intelligent, confident woman. But she’s someone I’ve been tasked with taking care of–she should not fall prey of my lust. How could I have done this?

As thoughts of her continue to fill my mind, I’m overwhelmed by a yearning for her that cannot be physically satisfied, so I give up and decide on a warm

soak in the tub, hoping the licentious urge will eventually subside.

Could it be that I’m just insanely starved for sex these days?

I was completely clear-headed last night, and everything is vivid in my memory. I may have consumed a fair amount of alcohol, but not enough to cloud my judgment. I’m not even a lustful man to begin with, and my self-control isn’t something that’s ever been easily swayed.

There’s an abrupt knock on the bathroom door.

Startled, I jump.

“Derik?”

It’s Natalie. Her voice is soft and hoarse–perhaps from all the screaming last night?

I shake my head to erase the dirty thought. Damn it.

It’s still early. How is she already awake?

Standing up out of the water, I grab a towel and wrap it around my waist. As if understanding my concerns, the little soldier finally bows down, allowing me to regain my composure.

“Good morning,” she greets coquettishly as I step out of the bathroom. She’s seated at the edge of my bed with my blanket wrapped around her petite figure.

She looks radiant and naturally beautiful. My eyes land on the hickeys on her neck, and I can’t help but feel a little proud.

Dumbass.

I grit my teeth and assume my usual expression.

“Mmm.”

Turning cooly, I open the closet without sparing her another glance and start slipping into my suit. I’m not the least bit bothered by her presence, even with her eyes following me around the room.

“I-I…”

“Do you need anything?” I ask flatly, slightly tilting my head to look at her.

The smile on her lips immediately disappears and her expression turns blank.

Her blue-green eyes meet mine and our gazes lock for a few seconds before she shakes her head in response and slips out of the room without speaking.

Watching the door close behind her, I release a deep breath, chastising myself inwardly for handling the situation so insensitively. But sensitivity has never been my thing, and I don’t think I could achieve it even if I wanted to.

Over the years, I’ve learned that silence is the strongest message a man can send a woman. Natalie is a wise woman. She will understand it.

Screwing her is already a grave sin, and a fuck up I literally cannot un-fuck.

Giving her false hope is something I refuse to do to her.

Chapter 7

NATALIE

I sigh heavily, staring absently at the sunset through the glass walls. It hasn’t been that long since I started working at the company my grandfather left me, but I already want to quit and hide. It’s hard work, which isn’t something I’ve ever shied away from, nor is it something I normally can’t handle. It’s just that the miserable emptiness I feel every time I go home is consuming my energy.

It’s weird.

I thought I’d grown numb to this over the past three years.

I thought the defenses I’d built were impenetrable.

But when I was with Derik, I was over the moon with hopes and expectations, only for them to be crushed the moment I opened my eyes that morning.

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when I learned that Derik had dumped one project after another on my team. He’s deliberately made me the leader, forcing me to work long hours in addition to my other classes and training. I suspect he’s trying to preoccupy me with work.

I sip from my mug, forcing myself to enjoy the coral-orange sky over the desert cityscape.

The passion of the night we spent together is long gone now. It seems as though it was all a dream at this point. It’s been about six weeks since I last saw him. He’s gone when I wake up in the morning, and I hear him come home after I’m in bed at night. There have been days he’s flown to other states or gone back to headquarters without informing me. He’s just gone without a word, and I don’t know if he’ll ever be back.

I know well enough that a man’s silence is a clear message and dwelling on it is only a waste of my time.

What happened between us happened with my consent, and I don’t regret it,

so there’s no use crying over spilled milk.

My thoughts are pulled back to the present as I feel my phone vibrating in my back pocket. I purse my lips when I see the caller ID.

Speak of the devil.

“We’ll be attending Mr. Wilson’s sixtieth birthday banquet tonight. Be ready to go by seven.”