“I'm not sure I can survive much more.” Another tear escaped, rolling down her
cheek.
Christopher drew a breath as unsteady as her shaking legs. “Oh, love. I'm sorry. This is my fault, isn't it?”
Despite her distress, she tried to comfort him. “No, not at all. There's always
something, Christopher. If it weren't you, he would find another excuse. This…
flirtation means the world to me. You can't imagine how lovely it is to be able to
leave the house and have something to look forward to. At home… it's always the same.”
“Flirtation? No, love. This is not a flirtation.” His voice grew dark with passion and intensity, and the appealing silver of his eyes turned steely.
“What then?”
“It's a courtship, of course.”
Her eyes widened.
“Did you really think my intentions towards you were anything other than
honorable?” he demanded.
“I didn't think you had intentions at all,” she replied honestly.
“I do.”
Much was said in those simple words, and Katerina understood it at last. A
courtship was intended to lead to marriage. Marriage meant the authority of her
father over her would end. She could trust her future to the care of a different, hopefully less brutal man. But she knew herself, how desperately damaged she
was. She shook her head. “Don't court me, Christopher. I'm no good for you.”
“Let me decide what's good for me,” he replied.
“I'm broken,” she reminded him.
“I'll fix you,” he said, brushing his fingers over her cheek.
“You can't.”
“I will. If you want to be fixed, it can be done.” He lowered his head, kissing her gently.
The touch raised delicious, tingling warmth, just like before. Wanton
pleasure streaked through her as his lips compressed hers. His power to arouse passion in her despite her anguish astonished her.
“I want you, Katerina,” he said, releasing her mouth. “I want to court you. I
like the attraction between us. Don't you like it?”
“Yes, of course. I haven't liked anything so much in years. Maybe ever.”
“Do you like being with me?”
“How could I not? You're…quite wonderful.”
He seemed for a moment to be at war with himself. Then he said, “I would
never suggest this under ordinary circumstances, but let me court you in secret.
If I can't do this the right way, let me do the wrong thing the best I can. Spend
time with me without telling him. Get to know me. I think there's a future here.”
A future with Christopher? Is that even possible? How long until he tires of
this game, until his protective instincts give way to annoyance? “To what end?
We can never become engaged.”
“I know. When we're ready, we'll simply have to elope.”
When. Not if. “He'll be furious.” She shivered in terror and then winced.
