‘That’s nice, Amber,’ Molly says, but in a tone that suggests Amber needs to work a bit harder than that.
‘Now, do you fancy seeing your bedrooms?’ Bill asks. ‘You might have to toss a coin for them though. One is a decent size. It’s got bunk beds, a desk and plenty of storage. But the other is a bit more of a box room if I’m honest. Come on.’
They traipse up the stairs in a line – Bill at the front, Jess pulling up the rear as usual. Bill was right about the second bedroom being small, but maybe Jess should take it anyway. A peace offering. Amber was so mad when social services said that it wasn’t safe for them to stay with Lou and Justin – just three days after Jess withdrew her statement about that teacher hitting Sean – and she couldn’t take it out on Gail because it wasn’t her who delivered the news. It was a new woman with an Irish accent – Colleen – who explained that Gail had moved to a new job.
Colleen said that their current situation had been deemed unsafe, and Amber and Jess would be moving to a new foster family as soon as they could organise it – probably at the end of the school year. Somewhere far away from Sean Russo. Amber had been furious, and had stormed out of the house as soon as Colleen left. Jess had worried that she might never see her sister again, that Sean would find her and hurt her, but Amber had turned up eventually, drunk and stoned, but alive.
She didn’t learn her lesson though. The next day, Saturday, she disappeared again, and was gone all day that time. Lou was proper freaked by the time she got home, around seven o’clock, but luckily that was the last time Amber went AWOL. She never liked that they had to move, but she seemed to accept it after that. She even talked to Colleen about her GCSEs and asked for her preferences to be taken into account when the foster team looked for a new home for them.
She and Amber then spent their remaining weeks living in semi-confinement. Driven to and from school. Not allowed out unless it was to a specific event with a defined guest list. And then finally term finished, and it was time to go.
Saying goodbye to Lou and Justin had been hard. They all cried. Even Amber got a bit teary. But what broke Jess’s heart the most was seeing the relief that diluted Lou’s sadness.
‘What do you think, Jess?’
She snaps back to the conversation. ‘Sorry, what?’
‘We could share, couldn’t we? You take the top bunk; I take the bottom. It’ll be more fun if we’re together.’
‘Really?’
Amber beams at her. Jess doesn’t understand what’s going on. Is this part of the act? When Colleen picked them up this morning, Amber was still giving her the silent treatment. What could have happened in the last couple of hours to cause such a big shift?
‘Of course!’ Amber calls out. ‘Is that okay, Molly, Bill?’
‘I think that’s a wonderful idea,’ Molly says, breaking into a smile – already starting to fall under Amber’s spell (not so savvy after all). ‘Our own girls always shared – they’re in their late twenties now and still thick as thieves. Now, why don’t we let you settle in. Come down when you’re ready, no hurry.’
They watch the old couple trundle back down the stairs, then Amber steps inside the bunk bedroom, and Jess follows. It’s a good room. Bill and Molly’s house isn’t any bigger than Lou and Justin’s, but there’s grass in the front garden rather than paving slabs, and Jess can see three majestic birds circling the sky as she looks through the window.
‘Maybe it will be all right here,’ she ventures. ‘In the countryside.’
‘Yeah, maybe.’ Amber’s response isn’t exactly enthusiastic, but it’s so much better than the usual ‘I’d rather fucking die’ that Jess can’t hold back her curiosity any longer.
‘Why are you being so nice all of a sudden?’
Amber’s expression becomes thoughtful. ‘Because maybe I agree that it’s not all bad, us moving out here.’
‘Do you mean that?’ Jess squints in confusion.
Amber pulls her phone out of her back pocket, taps it against her thigh. ‘Well Sean thinks so anyway.’
Jess’s heart rate ticks up. ‘Sean?’ she says guardedly. ‘We’re not supposed to be—’
‘Sean was my friend, remember?’ Amber cuts in. ‘Before you screwed things up.’
‘He hurt you. He threatened me.’
‘You provoked him.’
Jess wonders if she should leave it, just be grateful that Amber’s finally softening towards her. But Sean Russo isn’t the boy Amber fell in love with anymore. Since his mum was told that her cancer was terminal, he’s been hanging out with proper roadmen on the estate, and he’s got into drugs – both taking and selling them. As her older sister, doesn’t she have a duty to protect Amber?
‘Why are you so desperate to be friends with someone like him anyway?’ she asks.
Amber twists to look at Jess, her expression confrontational. ‘Because he’s exciting. And hot. And he thinks I’m cool – at least he used to.’ She turns away again. ‘And he’s offered me a job. Which means I won’t have to live off the shit pocket money we get, and that’ll be good for both of us.’
‘A job? Doing what?’
Amber shrugs. ‘Selling a bit of weed.’
‘What?’ Jess splutters. ‘We’re supposed to be cutting ties with our old life. And especially – mainly – him.’ Jess’s knees suddenly feel weak. She folds down onto the carpet. ‘You said he’d kill me if he saw me.’
‘Yeah, and that’s why I went to see him the night we were told we had to move,’ Amber explains, her irritation growing. ‘To beg him to forgive you. It wasn’t for me. I needed to get him back onside, so that you’d be safe. You don’t think us being the other end of the county would stop him tracking you down if he wanted to?’
Jess blinks back tears. ‘Does he know where we are now? Did you tell him our address?’
‘Stop stressing, sis. And no. He doesn’t know where we are exactly.’
‘Exactly?’ Jess whispers, horrified.
‘Just trust me, okay?’
EIGHT MONTHS BEFORE
Tuesday 12th September 2023
Jess
Jess reaches her hand into the packet of Jelly Babies and pulls three out. Two red, and an orange. Overall her eating hasn’t improved much since she arrived in Chinnor, but sweets never seem to stick in her throat. She puts one in her mouth and chews.
