“I’ll be at your wedding as her date. I’ll see you soon, Dante.”

And now it’s time for me to leave and figure out what the hell just happened.

37ILARIA

Becca is with Francesco, tucked into his side after being covered in blood. She had been transported back to the car with her ex, remembering the grief of feeling someone else’s blood against hers.

Sammie is drinking, saying she is fine when clearly it’s not something she is fine with. Looking at the ring Alejandro had given her and prolonging putting it on.

The marriage contract had been her idea, she had no problem doing it but when her high school boyfriend killed his father and claimed her as his own. All the heartbreak he had caused washed over her and the decision got harder.

I hated him for her.

And yet I was the one who had done this.

It was me at the card tables. Me taking the money and putting everyone at risk. We had wanted to get revenge for the death of the boy Becca loved and now we were the ones paying for decisions men made again.

No matter how we tried to get even, it sees like they found another way to break us.

“Principessa.”

Dante is in the door, blurry from the tears that are in my eyes. I try to blink them away but he comes closer, pulling me against him as he kisses the cheeks that are wet with tears.

“I’m sorry. I just wanted to fix it. I wanted to-”

“Shhh, are you okay?” I nod my head at him, “It’s fine then. As long as you are safe, that matters most to me. You, Ilaria. You matter the most to me. You can always come to me with anything and I will help you.”

He sits with me on his lap, holding me close as the towel falls from my hair, wetting the shoulder of his suit jacket but he doesn’t care. Dante slides his hand into my wet locks, holding me against him as I cry. Not asking me why, seeming to understand I just need him to hold me together as I fall apart.

Needing him.

“I want to go home.”

He nods his head in understanding. Kissing my forehead, he lays me down on the bed as I sniffle.

“I’ll get everything together and call to get the jet ready.” he moves to the door, probably to tell everyone the party is over, stopping for a second as he looks at me, “Ilaria.” My eyes lift, meeting him, “I would have gone to war for your friend. Even if it was the wrong choice I would do that because you wanted it.”

And with that he walks out.

We land in Boston at 5AM local time. Everyone is headed to a safe-house until we hear from Alejandro and make sure that the Cartel isn’t going to be in upheaval with the transition to him in power.

The safe-house is in the same building as our condo and I feel better knowing my friends are all going to be close to me.

And I like knowing that I’ll be able to sleep in my bed tonight in my home.

Our condo.

Our home.

It’s insane to think how easily it came to be my home.

My head rests on Dante’s lap, his fingers running through my hair as the driver moves us through the shadows of the night. My stomach is twisting with worry that I’ve made all the wrong choices for my friends.

Sammie still hasn’t spoken but she let me have a drink with her on the flight and held my hand, which felt important.

I didn’t know where to begin to apologize to her for all of this. For letting it get to this.

I ruined it all.

Dante doesn’t even ask, just picks me up when we stop. Holding me against him as I can feel the desperation I have for the need of touch. His lips are against my forehead as we walk into the condo, the sun wants to rise on a new day.

A new year in my life.

He seems to know what I want, carrying us to the balcony and lowering us into one of the chairs, his arms still wrapped around me. He isn’t ready to let me go.

“How can I make it better, Ilaria? Just tell me what to do.”

Looking at Dante I see the way the gold of the sun gleams in his brown eyes. It looks like flakes of gold hidden there. He always looks so serious but with me his features soften. He doesn’t have to be the next Don of the Boston mafia family with me. He can be himself.

He lets me cast my anxieties on him and tries to ease all of the problems I have in my life. He shows up for me constantly, wants to be the person I can lean on and trust. He wants to be my husband.

It’s not just the agreement now. We both know it.

So I have to give it to him. I have to be the one to let him know my feelings first so he can feel the safety like I already do.

I’ve messed up so much recently that I can’t mess this up.

“I love you Dante.”

I don’t ruin it with words of how it’s too soon or how I always knew. I don’t try to explain the feeling to him because it just is. I give it to him without any excuse or reason.

His mouth parts, his thumb raising to swipe at the bottom of my lip, pressing it as he smirks at me, such a soft movement on him but I still stare at his mouth.

Fuck do I love how he is looking at me right now. Like he wants to eat me up without sharing. As if I’m his favorite meal.

“Say it again.”  My cheeks warm at his request, “Please, Ilaria, just say it once more for me.”

He’s vulnerable and needy, just like me.

“I love you.”

He kisses me, pressing against me as he parts my lips with his tongue. Tasting me as we feel frenzied and needy, clinging to the other person with the mania of two people who have finally freed their feelings.

Love isn’t a scary thing.