“I used to hate this time of year,” I murmur. “It meant I had to go back to college.”
“And you didn’t like college?”
“So much of it seemed pointless. Learning facts I couldn’t see myself using in the future. I guess Jordan’s attitude about high school kinda rubbed off on me. But I never had the same drive she has, you know? That passion for something, that purpose.”
“Hmm.” He cups my shoulders lightly. Kisses my hair.
“I think I have a purpose now. And it’s wrapped up with you, but it’s not just you. It’s also about the other vampires—helping them. Protecting them. Using what I have to do some real good.”
I turn in his arms, facing him. “When I was younger and more vulnerable, before I had all of this, Dad used to tell me to check my privilege. I think that’s going to be even more important now, for both of us. We’ve got to be aware of our privilege and power, and use them the right way. Once the blood substitute is ready and supply is less of an issue, we can start thinking about saving more lives. There are so many hurting people in this world, Jay—people who could use what we have.”
“Not everyone should live indefinitely.” Jay’s eyebrows pull together. “We have to be careful about whom we choose.”
“So you and I are the gods who select who’s worthy? Sounds a little too much like Wolfsheim and his cult.”
Jay winces. “But we’re benevolent gods. Well-meaning gods.”
“Some of the cruelest gods in human history have called themselves good.” I reach up and brush aside a stray lock of his brown hair. “And most real-life villains are convinced they’re the good guys.”
“Well, I’m counting on you to let me know if I stray into the villain zone.”
“Same, though.” I slip my fingers behind his neck. And then, because it finally feels as right and natural as breathing, I murmur, “I love you.”
His eyes widen. “I love you, too.” He kisses me tenderly, like he’s savoring the taste those three words left on my lips. “Look at us—dirt-poor kids from Easley, and now we’re rich supernatural beings. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it? What else could be out there?”
“Who knows?” I wiggle my eyebrows at him mysteriously. “Faeries, banshees, demons, werewolves, things from myths we’ve never heard of. Scary, isn’t it? And kind of exciting.”
“You’re exciting,” he murmurs, swaying his hips against mine.
But I wriggle out of his arms, struck with a sudden, wild idea, and I dart out the back door onto the patio.
The pool is a rain-speckled dusky gray under the cloudy sky. I strip down to my skin while Jay watches from the doorway.
“Daisy Faye Finnegan, what the hell are you doing?” There’s a helpless laugh in his voice.
“Come swim with me.”
He hesitates, staring at the pool.
The pool where he died.
Barefoot, I stalk up to him and take his hands in mine. “We’re going to live a long time, you and I,” I tell him, through the warm rain streaming down my face, soaking my hair. “Bad things are going to happen to us sometimes. But we’re always going to move past them. That’s what we do. We heal, and we try again. Now come on, Jay Gatsby. You haven’t used this pool all summer.”
The reluctance on his face quivers and melts away. He smiles the kind of smile that makes me feel more whole, valued, and trusted than I’ve ever been in my life.
“Fine.” He shucks off his shirt. I run ahead while he’s taking off his pants, and I crash into the pool, a glorious cannonball shattering the memory of Myrtle’s gunshot and Jay’s blood.
Jay leaps into the pool too, sending up a wave of spray to collide with the raindrops. When he surfaces, he catches my wrist, pulls me in for a kiss. He’s laughing against my mouth, and his smile tastes like moonlight.
And I laugh with him, because we never have to be sick again. Not a head cold, not some nasty new virus—nothing. We don’t have to be afraid of cancer, or heart disease, or aging.
Who wouldn’t sacrifice everything for that assurance?
That’s exactly what makes all of this so dangerous, and vital, and beautiful. We are moths, feathery and fragile, dipping ourselves in titanium and gold to survive a decaying world.
And by some miracle, we can still fly.
Gatsby & Daisy’s Playlist
“Green Light”—Lorde
“Heat Waves”—Glass Animals
“Hallucinate”—Dua Lipa
“gold rush”—Taylor Swift
“We Used to Be Friends”–The Dandy Warhols
“Anti-Gravity”—RUNAGROUND
“everything i wanted”—Billie Eilish
“Here We Go”—Mat Kearney
“Don’t Start Now”—Dua Lipa
“Young and Beautiful”—Lana Del Rey
