“What’s it to you, Seth?” Jeremy’s voice is tight.
Seth’s eyes flicker to me. A muscle in Jeremy’s jaw twitches. The woods around us have stilled, the birdsong ceased.
“So you guys are hanging out again?” Jeremy asks.
“No,” I say quickly.
“What’s it to you?” Seth asks.
Jeremy shifts to his other foot, looks at me. “He told you what I did.”
I’m startled. “What are you talking about?”
“I didn’t tell her, actually,” Seth says.
I look from Seth to Jeremy. “Tell me what?”
Seth’s hand goes up to touch the scar over his eyebrow.
The scar that wasn’t there last year.
“What happened?” I ask.
When Jeremy doesn’t say anything, Seth, not taking his eyes off him, says, “Your boy paid me a visit last year.”
“What? When? Where?”
“At Columbia. Beginning of September.” After I told Jeremy about me and Seth. My heart is sinking. “I was walking through campus with a buddy, minding my own business, when all of a sudden Captain America’s standing in front of me, all riled up. Before I could say a word, I was on the ground.”
“If I’d known you had no idea how to block a punch, maybe I wouldn’t have swung so hard,” Jeremy says.
Despite himself, Seth’s mouth quirks up in a half smile. “This kid fucking laid into me, Addie. He broke my nose. Gave me this scar. Almost broke my arm.”
A lift of Jeremy’s shoulders as he gazes at Seth. He doesn’t look at all sorry. “I didn’t know it was going to go like that. I thought you’d be able to hold your own.”
“Kind of hard to hold your own when a fist comes at you out of nowhere.”
Jeremy lets out a short laugh. I’ve never heard him laugh that way before. “Keep telling yourself that, man.” His fists clench and unclench again. He’s barely holding himself back, I realize. I’ve never seen him like this. Even the night I told him about me and Seth, he was just…blank. Not angry.
Then Jeremy turns to me. “What is it, Addie? His money?”
I stare. “What?”
“ ’Cause it’s not like I don’t know what not having money’s like. But is it really worth it, being his…” He stumbles over his words.
A flash of rage goes through me, so strong it temporarily blinds me.
“Watch your words, Reagan.” Seth’s tone is mild, but he moves a step closer to me, and his fists are at his sides now.
I look at the boy I used to love. His green eyes are flat and he’s breathing hard, even though he stopped running what feels like ages ago.
For the first time ever, he looks like a stranger.
Jeremy breaks my gaze, sets his jaw. “Just stay away from me. Both of you.”
Then he turns and sprints down the path, back the way I came, putting as much distance as possible between himself and Seth, between himself and me, as fast as he can.
I don’t stick around to hear what Seth has to say.
A moment later, I’m running in the same direction as Jeremy, counting on two things: that I’m not fast enough to catch up to him, and that Seth isn’t fast enough, especially in his flip-flops, to catch up to me. I’m right on both counts. I need to put some space between myself and whatever alpha male bullshit all that was.
I arrive home breathless and with a lump in my throat that makes me angrier than anything else. As I shower, the thing simmering inside me only gets hotter.
Seth. What was he doing? Why did he follow Jeremy? What was he trying to prove?
And Jeremy. What was he thinking? Going into the city, tracking down Seth at school, walking up and hitting him in exactly the right way to damage him the best way he knew how?
What happened to him? Did I really mess him up that much?
Why didn’t Seth tell me?
Davy’s not home. I text him and find out he’s on another bike ride with Marion. After walking Sadie, I flop down on my bed and squeeze my eyes shut. And there Jeremy is, his twitching jaw muscle, his eyes flat and angry.
And across from him, Seth.
I’m not a napper. But somehow, maybe because of everything swirling around in my head, I fall asleep. And I dream.
We’re in the woods behind the Bier mansion, all of us: Thatcher and Seth, Kendall and Fiona, me and Jeremy and Gen, Davy and Marion. The sky is an oddly bright blue. I hear someone call my name, so I push through the leaves to see Fiona in the stone circle near the ravine, dancing. But she doesn’t see me, dances away from me, twirling so fast I can’t catch her. A rope hangs from a tree branch, and I’m afraid to go near it. Someone laughs behind me, a deep, loud laugh that makes the hairs on my arms stand up, and I run, away from Fiona, away from the rope. There’s a boy in front of me, catching me, and I look up at his face but I can’t tell whether it’s Jeremy or Seth. Then the boy changes into Thatcher. I scream, but no sound comes out. Then Kendall is behind me, reaching out her hand, whispering to me to follow her, Davy and Marion huddled behind her, but I don’t know who to trust or who to follow, so I run off into the woods, the leaves a whirl of black and green, pressing in on me, making it hard to breathe.