“Yeah. I wanted to, I don’t know, keep an eye on you.”
I feel a tiny flame of warmth. “Well. Thanks. And you’re not stupid. She was just…smart.”
Planting the seeds that it was Seth with Gen, knowing Gen would tell me. Getting me to suspect Seth and leave him out of what I was doing had almost gotten me killed. Almost let her get away with it.
We hit a red light a block from the hospital. Gen’s eyes close, then open. “I’m sorry, Addie,” she says. “For everything. But most of all—I’m sorry I spent the past year and a half not talking to you. Even with the way I felt, with Jeremy and all…” She trails off, swallowing whatever she was going to say next.
The light changes, and we move forward. There are tears rolling down her cheeks.
I wonder what would have happened if she and I had stayed friends. Maybe with Gen on my side, I wouldn’t have been so upset at Fiona for leaving. Maybe we wouldn’t have gotten into a fight that night.
But there’s no use in thinking about what might have been. There’s only what is. Only what I can do now, with what’s in front of me.
“I’m sorry, too,” I say.
“Never again?” she asks, looking over at me.
“Never again.”
50
Jeremy is propped up against a pillow, hooked up to some tubes, paler than I’ve ever seen him. Except for the moments I thought he was dead.
He smiles when Gen and I walk in. “My girls.”
That’s what he used to call us before everything went wrong. It makes tears spring to my eyes.
Next to me, Gen is crying; she hasn’t stopped since we got out of the car, since she grabbed me in a hug so tight I felt I couldn’t breathe. I get a tissue from Jeremy’s bedside table and hand it to her, then grab one for myself.
“Are you okay?” Jeremy asks then.
Gen nods. But I shake my head.
Jeremy opens his arms—as best he can with one of his shoulders entirely bandaged—and Gen and I walk over and gingerly lean into them.
“I’m not about to break.” His voice is huskier than usual, weaker.
“You look like you are,” Gen says, sniffling.
He lets out a hoarse laugh. “Thanks so much.”
“You scared the shit out of me.” My voice is low. I’m angry, I realize. It’s not fair to be angry at him—but I am. “What were you even doing there?”
“I came to save you.” His smile is wry. “Great hero I turned out to be.”
“How did you even know where I was? Or that I needed saving?”
“Seth told me.”
Gen and I stare. “He did?” I ask.
He nods, which makes him wince. “He didn’t tell you?”
“I—” I don’t want to tell them I haven’t talked to Seth yet. Because I don’t know how to tell him how grateful I am. And how sorry I am. “I’ve been busy,” I say instead.
Jeremy says, “He was at his place in the city when he heard his dad and uncle arguing about Kendall. And he put two and two together. He called you, but your phone was dead. Then he called the cops but got Ramsay on the phone. Then he tried Davy, your house phone, Marion, but when no one picked up—he DMed me. Told me to find you and warn you.”
“But how did you find me?”
“You weren’t home, and so I figured you were on one of your runs. It was just luck that I happened to head toward the ravine. I heard you and Kendall, and ran after you—and then I fucked it all up.”
“No.” I try to smile. “You’re a hero.”
“I’m a victim.” He nods at his shoulder with a wry smile. “A lucky one, that Kendall’s such a bad shot.” Then he sobers. “I can’t believe all of this. We’ve known her almost our whole lives.”
“You think you know someone, and then they turn out to be someone else entirely,” Gen says.
“But not always,” I say. “Sometimes people are who you thought they were all along.”
Now they’re both looking at me. Jeremy tilts his head.
“Are you in love with him?” he asks me.
“I don’t know,” I say honestly.
Gen shrugs. “Well. At least he’s not a murderer.”
I let out a choked laugh. “Pretty low bar.”