“No.”

He looked at Kate and fully realized—maybe for the first time—that she had never, ever known the good parts of their mother or father. And they had existed. Their mother hadn’t always been despondent and unable to cope. Their father hadn’t always been a man viewing life through an alcohol haze.

He’d gotten to know the people they were. So had Connor.

“He was a good man at one time, Katie,” he said.

“That’s fine,” she said. “For him. For you and Connor. But I never knew that man. I never saw him any way but falling on his ass drunk. You and Connor loved me. Then Jessie, when she married Connor. Jack was there, and Liss, our friends who always made our house feel less empty. But I can’t miss the person who made the house seem sad.”

She didn’t understand, because she didn’t realize what really made him think of their father. She didn’t know that he was trying to cope with the feelings Sadie’s words had triggered.

That they had brought to mind all he’d failed to protect.

And that was the crux of the problem. He wanted to protect the people he loved, the people of Copper Ridge. And his track record was hit or miss at best.

“Hello.” He turned and saw Sadie standing in the driveway, her hands in her back pockets, tugging the T-shirt she was wearing tight across her breasts, her expression sheepish. “Hopefully I’m not interrupting anything.”

“Not anything important,” Kate said, forcing a smile.

She looked a whole lot like him when she faked okay, and he wasn’t sure what he thought about that.

“How is everything, Kate?” Sadie asked, smiling. Sadie’s smile, regardless of her feelings, always seemed genuine. And that was even more concerning. He was starting to realize that everything about Sadie, all of her ease and lightness, wasn’t what it seemed.

Ruptured spleen. Hospitalization. Her mother wouldn’t defend her...

He couldn’t imagine it. Couldn’t believe this bright, amazing woman had been subjected to horrors that topped the Garrett Ranch’s Greatest Hits by a mile. He hadn’t even guessed at her pain, and today she’d poured it out onto his chest.

And he felt it now. The weight of it. Of what he hadn’t done. Of what he always left undone.

“Good,” Kate said. “I was actually just asking about you.”

“Well, here I am! Things are really moving along for the barbecue. Though I wanted to ask you, and I know it’s really last minute, but are you interested in doing any type of rodeo demonstration?”

Kate brightened visibly. “Yes. I’d love to. I could do some barrel racing in the arena, or even some calf roping.”

“Both if you want.”

“Maybe Jack will be interested in helping out,” she said.

“That would be great.”

“I’ll go and call him,” Kate said. “See you.” She waved and then bounded off in the direction of her little cabin.

“She is quite something,” Sadie said, moving in closer to him.

“She is. Sometimes I’m afraid she really lost out having to be raised by us. We’re not exactly a soft touch.”

“No,” Sadie said, “but you’re a pretty darn satisfying touch if I say so myself.”

“Well, thanks for that.”

“Actually, that’s what I’m here to talk to you about.”

“Oh?” he asked, feeling the scowl forming from the inside out. He’d come to cut wood and escape her and here she was.

Wanting to talk about the feelings he was pretending not to have.

“I’m sorry about what I said. I wanted to make sure we were okay.”

She didn’t meet his eyes when she said any of that. And he knew she really was sorry, and that she was afraid that she’d overstepped. But he also knew she’d meant it all. And it had hit its mark.

“We’re fine,” he told her, because it was the thing he had to say to get sex. And whatever he felt, he knew he still wanted that.

“Good. I don’t normally spill my guts like that. Normally I listen to other people do it. That’s kind of why I do it. Did it.”

“Therapy?”

“Yes. Because I got to give it to other people and sort of turn over their own issues and never think of mine. I mean...it hurts. That memory hurts. I think it always will. And I’m projecting. I know that. I...wished someone would have seen, Eli, and in my head, because you were so tangled up in that night, something in me made that person you. My patients do the same thing and I know better. But you know...it’s a ‘doctors are terrible patients’ kind of a thing.”

He could hear what she was saying, and he even believed her to an extent. But it didn’t change the way that heavy mass of emotion felt in his chest. Didn’t make breathing easier or his throat less tight.

“Let’s forget that it happened,” she said. “You know. You’re basically the only person who knows. And...I think we should just...go to bed.”

“It’s six o’clock.”

“So?” she asked.

They were standing outside his house. And he’d never had her in his house before. But he’d had her in his patrol car. And that was, in some ways, more intimate.

“I guess I can’t think of a reason.” Mainly because the blood had all rushed down south of his belt. A chronic, Sadie-related issue.

“Oh, good,” she said, looking relieved. “I don’t want things to change.”

Neither did he, but he was afraid that they had.

“We’re on the same page, then.”

“Your house or the car?”

“House,” he said.

“Probably for the best. In hindsight, it was a pretty poor use of the people’s property. Doing it in a county-owned vehicle.”

“Excuse me,” he said, the tension in his chest easing slightly, though not the tension in his cock, “you started it.”

“True. But then,” she said, putting her hand on his chest, a smile curving her lips, “I am a criminal. A very bad girl. And you are so good.”

He wrapped his hand around her wrist and drew her fingertips up to his lips, sucking one into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the tip. Then he closed his teeth lightly over her skin and released her. “Am I?” he asked.