“Yes. So I’m sorry for all my criticism of you and for distancing myself from you and Heather. I do respect you both personally.”
“Just personally?” Her mother’s amused tone was back.
“It’s the professionally I’m still struggling with. I just don’t get it. That’s why I wanted to call. For you to explain.”
“It’s one of those things people either understand or don’t,” her mother said. “Your father didn’t get it either when I left my college job for one he perceived to be of less importance. I explained that I wanted to get to kids earlier, girls especially, and get them fired up and embracing STEM subjects. But he was scathing of my decision.”
“Is…that why he left you?” Felicity held her breath. “He thought less of you?”
“Oh, sweetheart. You really think anyone would leave their whole family just because their spouse took a slightly less prestigious job?”
Felicity didn’t know how to answer that. “I truly have no idea. Did he?”
“I see.” Her mother sounded disappointed but not surprised.
Felicity said nothing, sensing there was more.
“Well, I think it’s time you knew the truth,” her mother finally said. “Your father didn’t leave me. I told him to go. I’m sorry, darling. I know you adored him and I know you wanted him to stay, but I couldn’t have that sort of influence raising our children.”
Shock flooded her. “You made him leave? Why?” All this time she’d feared they weren’t good enough, and it wasn’t even his choice?
“Your beautiful little cat, Brave, needed an operation to get well—an expensive one. We had enough money. Oh, it would have been a little tight but not terrible. We’d have managed. Your father refused to waste the money, he called it. Worse, he went behind my back and had her put down to ensure I didn’t use any of our savings on the operation. That’s when I understood I hadn’t married a compassionate man. I can’t even look at someone who doesn’t see a pet as a family member. I’d married a man who cared more about the cost of treatment than how it would break his little girl’s heart.”
“Oh.” Felicity blinked back tears. “God, really?”
“Yes. Now do you see? I knew you looked up to him, so I never wanted your image of him shattered. But I can see now you’ve been re-examining some things. It seemed time.”
“Right.” Felicity wiped away her tears. “Yes.”
“Are you okay?”
“Of course.” She buried her fingers in Loki’s fur. “I’m stronger these days. And as I said, he’s still an asshole, just worse, now that I know. He was so indifferent when I met up with him in New York. I tried to show him everything I’d done, and he didn’t care. And we were all cut out of the will. So my new highly scientific hypothesis is: once an asshole, always an asshole.”
Her mother chuckled. “Well, far be it for me to disagree with science. So would you care to share why you’re reassessing your life now, darling?” Alarm flooded her voice. “Has something happened? Please tell me you’re not ill.”
“What? Oh no. God, no. I’m just…work. I recently spent a week with the homeless and their animals, and you get to see what matters. You know, I met a woman just like me, and she’s living on the street. All it came down to was bad luck, nothing else. I know I’m lucky. More than that, I’m privileged. You’d think with all my advantages, I’d be better than just merely managing at life.”
“Which is where we came in. You asked what would make you happy. And I said you needed someone to share life with.”
Felicity bit her lip. “What if…I had someone…someone who maybe would be happy to be with me and who might care about me… But what if…she doesn’t have any ambition at all? Wouldn’t that be too different a thing to deal with? Someone so far from who I am?”
“Did you say she?” Her mother’s voice wasn’t exactly surprised. “I wondered when you’d realize your childhood fascination with actresses might mean something else. How many posters did you have up of that Borg lady and Captain Janeway anyway?”
“Mom!” Felicity’s cheeks grew warm. “Can we please focus?”
“Oh right. Of course. Sorry. And you know, whoever you date or love, it doesn’t matter to me. I’d just be delighted to hear you’re connecting with anyone. I admit I’ve been afraid you’d end up some lonely, bitter executive that everyone calls awful names.”
Why did everyone assume that about her? Her neighbor had done the same thing! “Well, I’m not bitter,” Felicity said with a small laugh. “The rest of it might be true. I don’t know what they call me, but I suspect it’s something rude.”
Her mother chuckled. “All right, then. So in answer to your question, compatibility isn’t about what people do for a living or seek in life. I can see you think it is. But it’s about ethics. Do you connect morally and on the same basis with your social views? Do you respect each other and each other’s choices? And for you that means, can you respect her even if she is only a…” Her mother paused. “You never said what your unambitious lady does.”
“She’s a veterinarian.”
“Felicity!” Her mother’s gasp was outraged. “You were judging someone who spent years of their life studying to help animals? Do you have any idea how hard it is to complete a vet course? How few places there are in the US? It’s so competitive! How on earth can you claim she has no ambition? I’d guarantee she works harder at her hospital or clinic than most people. Oh…and the fact that she works with animals? How wonderful! I must meet her. We’d have so much to discuss. Where does she work?”
Great. Her mother had way more in common with Cooper than Felicity did. “She’s head vet at a charity called Living Ruff New York. They work with the homeless and their pets.”
Silence fell.
Then her mother drew in a sharp, low breath. “Felicity Helena Simmons, if you don’t marry her, I will.”
“What?” Felicity sputtered.
“That’s one of the most impressive things you can do, work with the people and animals everyone ignores. She must be a compassionate, impressive woman.”
“She is.”
“And…is that why you think you’re a poor match? It’s not her lack of interest in doing a job you consider more respected but you think you’re not compassionate enough for her?”
Felicity’s heart was in her throat. Was that true? And if it was, what did that say about her? And what did it say about her for her mother to even ask the question? “You think I lack compassion?”
Silence greeted her.
“Mom?” Felicity asked in a small voice. “Is that what you think, too?”
“Darling, no. I remember how brokenhearted you were when Brave died. I do know you have compassion. You cried for months. You wouldn’t even look at animals after that, you were so terrified your heart would be broken again. And I’m afraid, so very afraid that you’ve been too cautious about opening yourself up ever since. I’ve worried you’d never trust your heart to anyone after losing Brave and then your father in quick succession.”
Felicity couldn’t deny it. “It’s been easier to get ahead having no attachments,” she said quietly. “It’s not all bad.”
