I waved, forcing myself up two more flights of steps and coming face-to-face with his dark blue door.

Why was I so nervous? I had talked to Kye plenty of times. This didn’t need to be any different. I was just clearing up the terms of our agreements, apologizing for my attitude. Nothing serious. I took another deep breath, repeating that sentence a hundred more times.

I finally pulled my hand up and knocked.

“What the fuck?” I heard him say from the other side, followed by footsteps that grew louder. “Why are you knocking?” he asked, pulling open the door.

He froze as he saw me. I did, too. Taking in every relaxed inch of him, from the messy damp hair to the sweatpants that hung off his hips. The tattoos that littered his chest and stomach and muscled arms. Every part of me heated at the sight.

I managed to miss him in the four hours we had been apart.

“Daisy. What are you doing here?” He almost sounded angry, and that was when reality crashed in again.

I took a step back. “I’m sorry. I tried texting, but you didn’t respond.”

“Yes, usually that’s because the person doesn’t want to talk at that moment.”

“I’m so sorry. I should have told you I was coming. Are you not alone? Of course you’re not. I was coming over to ask, and now I realize how stupid that sounds.”

“Not alone?” he asked with a shake of his head. “You came over here to see if I wasn’t alone?”

“Well, I didn’t know. You didn’t respond.”

“And I owe you a response every damn time you text?”

“I mean, no, of course not, but then Amber made a comment about how hot you were and that you might not be texting because you weren’t alone, and I just…I don’t know, I thought I would come see if that’s what we were doing. Like, are we faking being together to people in my life, but maybe you’re trying to sleep with other people?” I pinched my nose. “And now, hearing this part out loud, I hear what I sound like. I’m so sorry, Kye. I’ll leave now. You can get back to whoever. I’m sorry for interrupting.”

He leaned against the door with raised eyebrows, seemingly as shocked at my ridiculousness as I was now. I turned, ready to run.

“Daisy,” he said, the word so commanding that I stopped and faced him.

“Yes?”

“I am alone. I was only surprised because everyone in this damn building has come to an agreement that unless the door is locked, we don’t need to knock. I thought you were one of my friends, and I was going to give you shit because I wasn’t in the mood.”

“Mood for what?”

“Company.”

“Because of me?”

“Yes,” he said, the word so matter-of-fact that I felt even worse.

“Does that mean you aren’t having someone over to sleep with tonight?”

“No, I wasn’t planning on it. But you already knew that because I told you I don’t do that. I am also not experimenting with other people to see if I’m cured because we already know that I am not.”

“Have you had anyone over to sleep with since our fake dating has started?”

“No, I haven’t. Embarrassingly enough, you already know the problems I have, so I’m not even sure why the concern would cross your mind.”

I didn’t say it out loud, but I knew exactly why it had crossed my mind. I didn’t want him with anyone else, and it felt so strange to me that he really wouldn’t be.

“Oh.” A thousand options of what I could do next flickered through my mind. I looked back over at him, my mouth nearly watering. It had become impossible to not want to touch him every time he was close.

“Do you get phone numbers given to you when you walk through campus?”

He shrugged. “I guess they try, but I ignore it. I really don’t have time for more than one perfect little prom queen in my life. The one I have now is more needy than I planned for.”

“I’m not perfect.”

“Oh, I know it. You like to make everyone think you are, though. Interesting that’s the only word you picked up on.”

“Is that why you ignore them, though? It’s not like they are all like me. Even Amber commented that she would give you her number if we weren’t together. Well, fake together, but she doesn’t know that.”

“It was a joke. I ignore them because I don’t care about any of them or about making you the brunt of any jokes. I don’t think your pretend boyfriend sleeping with other girls on campus would take long to get out. I quite honestly have no interest in sleeping with anyone, even though you seem to not believe it. And I know they’re vicious, Daze. I wouldn’t do that to you. I won’t try sleeping with anyone else until this charade is up for you.”

“You would do that?”

It was stupid of me to ask, knowing that he didn’t like anyone else touching him, but the thought of that being true still felt strange. How could he truly only like me touching him? As if there was something special about me.

He nodded his head. “I would.”

And like the naive girl I was, it took this long for the pieces to finally click into place.

I wasn’t just there to check if our fake dating was exclusive.

I mean, I was, but now that I knew it was exclusive, everything else I wanted was obvious.

I took three determined steps towards him before grabbing his head and pulling it down to mine.

I didn’t come here just to check on our agreement.

I came here to sleep with my fake boyfriend.

TWENTY-ONEKYE

One minute, I was reminding her that I was already not sleeping with anyone, and the next she was kissing me like her life depended on it.

“Kye, do not question this anymore and please, please, just let this happen.”

I wasn’t going to question it. I didn’t know if I could anymore. Walking out of the dorm room earlier was torture—pulling my teeth out would have been more pleasant. I did want to sleep with her, and I wasn’t sure how to say it. It wasn’t why I agreed to help her move, but the wanting was still there.

Not sleeping with her had taken over every second of my day, and I didn’t think I could keep this up. I needed her. I needed her touch. I needed a break from the constant burning ache in my chest.

I didn’t say anything, but I picked her up, urging her legs around me as I shut, and locked, the door.

I had made my apartment a studio, the open space less suffocating to a boy who had lived in what should be considered a closet most of his life.