I pressed the heel of my palms into my eyes to stop any tears from falling. I didn’t realize how affected I had been while standing behind Christian. Now that his mother was gone, I could tell exactly how affected I was.
My heart was hammering loudly, and my stomach was in knots. This was too much for me, and to make matters worse, Christian has gone and promised to leave the company. I needed to act fast before he did something he would regret.
I knew how hard he worked for this company. I’ve been by his side during all of it, and to have him throw it away was something I couldn’t sit back and watch.
“You can’t leave your CEO position,” I said to him, lifting my head to look him in the eyes.
Christian had a soft look; the concern in his eyes was clear as day. I took a deep breath and sat straighter, causing his hands to fall from my shoulders.
“Fiona.”
“You’ve worked hard already. Why should you lose it because of what we think we have between us.”
“Don’t say that.”
I covered my face again and took a deep breath before pushing my hair away. I didn’t even know it was hot enough for my hair to be sticking to my skin. This was way more than I thought I was going to deal with today, and to think it all started because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.
“I think we should just forget all this confession we’ve done today.”
“Fiona, don’t say that. I don’t care about the company as much as I care about you. I love you, and now that I’ve finally found the courage to let you know, I’m not going to back down. I don’t care what they threaten me with.”
“And isn’t that the problem? You know your parents will threaten you with something just to not be with me. It’s not just a company; it’s everything your family built. It’s your family’s legacy.”
“I can build my own legacy.”
I got to my feet. “This is serious, Christian. It’s really serious.”
“I know that, but why should you not listen to your heart, Fiona? Why should I give up on my happiness for the company or family? Why should I give up on you when I’ve only just had you.”
“I’m not going to quit my job,” I said.
“Fiona.”
I took another step away from him, unwilling to be touched by him because I was certain that my resolve would crumble. “Maybe you can talk Aurora into changing her mind.”
The look of betrayal on his face made me feel like I was hurting him, but I wasn’t about to let him walk away from all of this. So, I continued talking as if I wasn’t hurting myself, too, with the words I was saying.
It was tough to not cry, but I wanted to keep talking, make him see reason. He couldn’t lose.
“Did you know Aurora came to me to tell me how much she loves you?”
Christian moved closer, reaching an arm out to grab me, but I moved away from his touch easily. “Fiona, stop talking about this.”
“She’s determined to fight for you. She told me that she loved you, and she was going to go through therapy to fix her attitude.”
“I don’t care.”
Well, neither did Aurora because she most definitely didn’t say that to me, but if her character was the problem, then if she claimed that she would fix it, it should be enough for him. They could make a fine family, and I could deal with my hurt. Who knew I was going to advocate for Aurora after I told her that I wouldn’t help her.
“She really does love you, Christian, and your family loves her. If you get together with her, your mother is going to love her and -”
“What about me?” Christian asked, looking at me with sad eyes. He didn’t bother coming any closer to me. There were at least four steps between us, and I wished there weren’t any. “What about what I want? I want you, Fiona. Doesn’t that count for something?”
I bowed my head, embarrassed by my own thinking. I was supposed to be rooting for his own happiness, and here I was, determined to make him sad. I guess in that way, I wasn’t any different from Aurora. I might even be worse than her.
The entire time I was here, I knew how much he suffered trying to get her off his back. I knew how sad he was, how I had to offer my shoulders to him. And yet, I was willing to let him go simply because of his mother?
I let my shoulders fall, ashamed of myself. After spending all this time, pining over him, and hoping he would look my way, and when he did, I was about to walk away and leave him high and dry at the first sign of trouble.
“What are we going to do? I don’t want you to lose everything.”
Christian took a step towards me, tentatively, as if he was scared I would react like a cornered animal and attack. When I didn’t move back, he moved the rest of the way and wrapped his arms around me.
I brought my arms up to hug him back, and buried my face in his neck. The sob racked through me, and when I took a deep breath to calm myself, his cologne filled my lungs, but it wasn’t an unwelcome comfort.
“It’s not losing if I’m with you, Fiona,” Christian whispered, and I hugged him even tighter. “It seems scary, but it’s not that difficult. I wasn’t lying when I said I love you; I’m not just saying it to be funny. From the first time I saw you, I felt a type of peace that has always eluded me. It’s easy because it’s you.”
“I had a crush on you when we were kids,” I confessed, mostly because I didn’t want to be outdone in being the first to feel this affection we have between us.
Christian’s hand stopped rubbing my back, and he tried to pull me away from the hug so he could look at my face, but I clung tighter to him. My face, without a doubt, looked like a mess. And this wasn’t the time for me to be showing this part of myself to him.
His laugh filled the room, and filled me with warmth. I tried to not show how hard my heart was beating from having me this close to him or having his arms around me.
It was nearly enough for me to forget that we were still at work, and in a way, I did forget until there was a knock on the boardroom door.
Chapter Eighteen
Christian
