“Good morning,” I say in a low voice, brushing a fallen section of hair from his face.
“Good morning to you.” Finn’s mouth curves up in a smile, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
Frowning, I cup the outline of his jaw and study him. “You didn't sleep, did you?”
He lets out a soft chuff. “I look that bad, huh? No, my brain wouldn’t shut off.”
A pang of anxiety stabs me in the chest. I was afraid of this. I dropped my mask, confessed my sins, and now that he’s had time to process everything, it’s all too much.
Schooling my features to hide the tumultuous emotions raging inside, I nod with feigned acceptance. “You’re having second thoughts about me. It’s okay, I get it. Come on, we need to break camp.”
I try to pull away, but he holds me in place and pops up to brace himself on his forearm, looming over me. “I’m second guessing a lot of things—our plan, how much I know about my lineage, whether I’m qualified to lead this mission regardless of my grandmother’s visions—but I have never second-guessed you. You’re the only thing I’m completely certain of in all this.
“It’s okay if you’re not there yet, but I meant what I said in that cavern.” Framing my face with his hand, his thumb caresses my cheek as he stares intently into my eyes. “I love you, Taryn Delanie Emory.”
Tears blur my vision, but I blink them back before my vulnerability has the chance to spill over. If my heart was a well, it would be overflowing with love. I do feel the same way about him, so why can’t I say the words? Tell him you love him, too. Say it!
“About time you are awake, sestra,” Dmitri says, entering camp again. “I was beginning to think the young prince put you in post-coitus coma.”
Heat floods my face. “Dmitri.”
“I heard that!” Conall sits up, laughing so hard he’s holding his sides. “Dude, I’m totally calling you Prince of the Post-Coitus Coma from now on.”
Connor props himself up, joining in. “Prince P-Double-C,” he says, fist bumping his brother. “Wait till Tiernan hears. He’s liable to make it official by court decree.”
“Glad the coma wasn’t too serious, Taryn,” Conall says. “Want some coffee to help shake it off?”
Finn swipes a hand over the lower half of his face, trying to hide his amusement, but the twinkling in his honey eyes gives him away.
“Go ahead and laugh,” I say playfully to him. “I’m not the one with the ridiculous new nickname.” Then I answer Conall while smirking at Finn. “No coffee necessary. The effects are already long gone.”
The twins bust out laughing as Finn flops back on the ground, putting a hand to his chest as though I’ve just stabbed him. Dmitri sits on a nearby boulder grinning at my verbal volley.
It feels good to joke around and be part of a close-knit group again. The Romanov clan has been my family for all intents and purposes, but the dynamic is more like that of a business with Dmitri and I as ruthless co-CEOs. No one would dare tease me there.
But the dynamic between the Verrans, their mates, and the Woulfe twins is like a real family, even with the twins in roles as their employees and subjects. I never realized how lonely I was before until now, trading banter and joking around with a Dark Prince and his wolf shifter friends like I belong.
“What’s that?” I ask, noticing a small, leather-bound book on Finn’s pack. My eyes widen when I recognize the seal on the cover. “Is this Moira’s?”
He gets up and starts rolling up our sleeping bags. “Yeah, it’s her journal. Connor found it back at Abhaile in the base of the decoy case. He gave it to me last night, and I stayed up reading it after you fell asleep.”
I expect one of the guys to make another coma joke, but the tone of the group has changed to one of mutual curiosity at the mention of the journal.
Considering how secretive I’ve lived most of my life, I always hesitate to question people about things that might be too personal. Dmitri, however, has no such compunction.
“What did you learn? Useful things on how to beat Edevane, I hope.”
Finn regards the rest of us, disappointment etched on his face. “Unfortunately, no. It was just her account of what really happened before our exile. She described her vision of the Light King using Lugh’s spear to kill the One True Queen and usurp the throne, throwing Faerie into a time of chaos and destruction between the courts. The only way she could gain access into the Light Palace to steal the spear was by gaining Cormac’s favor, making him believe she wanted an affair.”
Connor props an arm on his bent knee. “That sounds drastic. Why didn’t she just glamour herself to look like a Light servant or something?”
I find it both strange and sad that these fae know so little of how things work where they come from. I hope that won’t always be the case. Maybe if we pull this off, my mother will be gracious enough to lift the ban and allow them entry to their true home.
“She couldn’t,” I explain. “All the court palaces are spelled so that glamours won’t work inside them. It’s a safeguard against would-be assassins or anyone who wishes the royal families harm. And with the stakes so high, she wouldn’t be able to trust a member of the Day Court to remain sympathetic to her cause and not betray her plan. She had no choice but to do it herself.”
Conall runs a hand through his shoulder length hair. “Damn.”
I trace my finger over the branded seal with a newfound respect for the Dark seer. To Finn, I add, “She was incredibly brave to risk what she did for the good of the realm.”
He dips his chin in acknowledgement. “She was. Even harder is that she couldn’t tell her mate what she was doing. Since lying isn’t an option, if things went wrong, Moira wanted to make sure he had deniability if he was questioned. Which is why, after she stole the spear, Cormac confronted my grandfather at one of Aine’s parties about the affair and his mate being a thief, causing both courts to brawl in defense of their kings, ultimately leading to our banishment.”
I shake my head. “Unreal. Probably where the term ‘drama queen’ originated.” The twins and Finn all stare at me like I just dared to blaspheme in a temple. “What? You can’t tell me her punishment wasn’t way over the top. What she did was uncalled for.”
Finn scratches his beard and winces. “Our parents were paranoid the OTQ had spies everywhere, listening for any kind of slander against her so she could punish us some more. So we were raised to never dare say anything like that out loud.”
I blink in surprise. It’s weird to think of my mother as some kind of bogeyman figure among the Celestial Courts, but considering what she did to them, it makes sense. “Well, she’s not getting any special deference from me. Speaking of which, we should get going. The portal will open soon.”
We quickly take care of morning necessities and break camp. By the time we’re slinging our packs on, large stone slabs descend from the fog around the base of the portal to create steps. I stand in front of the first one, my stomach in knots.
Since arriving at the veil in Joshua Tree, my anxiety has been in a constant state of ebbing and flowing. At first it was nerve-wracking not knowing what to expect from Edevane or Aine when we first crossed into Faerie. Would we be ambushed by the Light King? Taken into custody by the One True Queen’s sentries?
When neither of those happened, I began to relax. Soon, the hum of magic and the warmth of nostalgia began to fill the crack in my soul. I missed this place, and a sense of peace settled over me the farther we walked along the outskirts of Tír Tairngire. After all, it wasn’t Faerie I ran away from when I left. It was my mother, my sins, and my pain.
And now it’s time for me to face all three.
On the other side of this portal is the palace I once called home. The palace where I played with my father in the gardens and trained with my brother.
The palace where I killed my people.
Panic and guilt constrict my lungs like a tourniquet, tightening more and more.
Finn steps in front of me, taking hold of my face and dipping down to my level to force himself into my field of vision. His eyes flick over my shoulder, and I sense the others backing up, giving me space and privacy to pull myself together.
“Breathe with me, sweetheart. Nice and easy, that’s it.” I match my breaths to his, my eyes locked onto his like they’re my lifeline, and in this moment, they kind of are. After another minute, my pulse begins to slow, and the band in my chest finally loosens. “There you go.”
When I’m finally able to fill my lungs all the way to the bottom, I exhale and offer him a grateful, albeit embarrassed, smile. “Thank you.”
“You’ve got this, Taryn, and I’ll be at your side the whole way.” As though to prove it, he steps back into position next to me.
I nod, borrowing his confidence and using it to collect myself. Pulling my shoulders back, I glance at the others and say, “Let’s go.”
We climb the stone slabs to where the air shimmers in the mouth of the floating portal and step through. It feels the same as when we crossed the veil, the magic heavy like walking through a fine mist, causing my skin to tingle with energy as we’re transported across the vast region of Tír Tairngire in only a matter of steps.
Emerging on the other side of the portal, our group pauses at the top to behold the new awe-inspiring view that greets us on the horizon—the magnificent skyline of Ildathach, the capital city of the Summer Court, and the breathtaking landscape surrounding it.
Far in the distance, a multitude of buildings stretch high into the amethyst sky, gleaming brightly under the rays of the ivory sun. Behind the city proper, the Summer Palace stands majestically on a hill speckled with flame lilies; a masterpiece of craftsmanship made from incandescent firestone and adorned with Ember spires that spiral upward.
The peaks of the Cindercrest ridgeline lie to the north, creating a picturesque backdrop, and the indigo water of the Incendia Sea to the east sparkles like rippling gemstones. And between the portal and the edges of Ildathach are more rolling hills with a smattering of quaint country homes and picturesque farms.
