The electronic bell rang from the back entrance of the shop, and I heard the crew welcoming Lex to the shoot. “I think there’s only one way to find out,” She stood up and pulled me with her. “But if I were a betting woman,” she wagged her eyebrows and stage whispered, “which I am, by the way,” she returned to normal volume, “I’m going to guess that Lex and Brody can resolve any problems in one of two ways. Either with intense power struggling hate sex, or actual adult communication.” She giggled as I looked physically ill at the options laid out, “I’ll let you four decide which route to take on that one, but for what it’s worth, I think with a little time you’ll figure it out.”
“Thanks.” I sighed and gathered up my strength to face Lex in the weird professional dynamic we were in at the moment. “I appreciate the sounding board.”
“Anytime.” Reyna slid the door open. “Once upon a time, Dallin took off to chase after Trey after he promised he would never leave me or choose the guys over me. And I’ll be honest, I was far more desolate than you are right now over it because it felt like everything I had was being lost because I dared to want more. Just like you are right now.”
“What happened?” I asked, having never heard that part of their story before. “How did you all come back from that to get where you are right now?”
She blew out a breath exasperatedly, “Well, let’s just say there were a lot of sex toys, apologies, and blue balls included in the resolution.”
Lex rounded the corner, hearing the statement from our friend, and paused with an amused grin on her face. “I think I’m late for the conversation, care to recap it for me?”
Rey gave her a quick hug and then winked at me, “Maybe I’ll tell you both one day about how I managed to have my cake and eat it too.”
“Can’t wait.” I nodded as she walked back toward the lobby, leaving me and Lex alone in the hallway.
“Let me guess,” Lex turned to me and looked me up and down, heating my skin and flushing my face from a mere flick of her lashes. “That was about me?”
“In a way,” I admitted, nodding to the garment bag in her hand. “I’ll give you some privacy to get ready for the shoot.” I smiled softly and went to step around her, following Rey out to the lobby so Lex could get changed.
But as I stepped next to her, she placed her hand on my stomach, stopping me dead in my tracks and looking over at her, like a fish on a line, waiting for my fate to be decided. I couldn’t read her mood or thoughts through her dark eyes and thick makeup, and I wanted to wipe it all off and see the real her. Just like last night when she told us about Sydney in the dark.
“Or you could come with me, so I can apologize for leaving the way I did.” She slid her hand over my hip and pulled me until I was flush with the front of her body and I placed my hands on her waist as I took a deep breath in of her intoxicating perfume. “Please, Hannah.” She lowered her voice and closed her eyes like she was tired.
“Okay.” I nodded and then stayed silent as she took my hand and pulled me down the vacant hall to her suite, closing the door behind us. It was dark in the room and she flipped a switch on the wall, bathing the room in the vibrant pink up lighting from the floor, but that was it.
I hadn’t been alone with her since that day in the parking lot when I admitted I was attracted to her. Every interaction since then had been with Brody, Knox, and us. Something about being in the silent, dark room with her made everything else so much more noticeable.
The way the air conditioner cooled my overheating skin. The way the scent of her perfume felt like a blanket of comfort for my brain. The way her quiet breathing felt predatory as my eyes fought to see through the dimness. The way my stomach fluttered as she laid her bag down on the chair and sauntered toward me.
Her beauty was so incredibly captivating that I never stopped being amazed whenever I saw her. She wore a black short and tank top set, sandals, and had flawlessly done her hair and makeup. She took my breath away.
“I shouldn’t have left like I did.” She breathed as she continued to cross the room to me. “I shouldn’t have said what I did. Brody shouldn’t leave his own home because of me.” She sighed gently and I could feel the sincerity in her words.
“Then why did you?”
“Because he was right.” She stopped right in front of me. “And I hate that.”
“He was right?” I didn’t believe my ears.
She swallowed and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, and I couldn’t stop my head from leaning into her touch. I ached to feel her skin on mine as much as I did Brody or Knox. With things so uncertain between Lex and me, I longed for her touch to mend it all.
She leaned forward and gently brushed her nose against mine, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath in, like I was comforting her at the moment that I sought that same calm.
“I think I’m bi.” She whispered, and I was catapulted back into that conversation between her and me not so long ago when I admitted the same. “Or I’m at least attracted to Brody and Knox, I think.”
I remembered the way she tried to keep me at arm’s length even after I cut myself open and revealed my dark secret to her. I remembered the way it hurt for her to be so nonchalant and tell me not to risk my happy home for something I wasn’t even sure about.
And look at us now, we were in a sense of turmoil before we even gave it a fighting chance.
I was in turmoil, and so was she.
So were Brody and Knox.
“Say something.” She pleaded, leaning her head to the side a fraction so her lips brushed mine. It wasn’t a kiss, but more of a need to be physically closer. “Please Hannah, say something.”
She needed me. “I’m falling for you,” I admitted, equally opening myself up to her and leveling out the playing field, so we were both vulnerable. “And I think you’re falling for me, too.”
She shook her head, gripping the hair at the back of my head tightly like she was in pain. “I already have.” She pressed her lips to mine again with no hesitation or seeking any comfort in the move. “I already am.”
I moaned and opened my lips to hers, welcoming the way she kissed so passionately, embracing the need I could feel in her touch.
“I can’t do the hot and cold anymore, Lex,” I admitted, biting her lip and fighting to stay in control of my mind and body as her touch made my head swim.
“I’m obsessed with you, Han.” She panted and shook her head again, “I can’t play hard to get anymore. I don’t want to.”
“What does that mean, though?” I pulled back to look into her brown eyes, “You think you’re bi, but I need to know what that means for us. For you.”
She sighed and pulled back to take a deep breath, creating a space between our bodies, and while I hated the distance, I needed her words more than her touch. I knew her touch, and what it meant. But I needed her words at that moment.
“I didn’t vow to always be in control of everything just because of Sydney. She was the second person who trapped me and left me broken at the end. So that’s why I refuse to let anyone else have power over me ever again.” She hesitated, but forged on. “I’ve never been with a guy before.” She admitted, and I could see her vulnerability shining brightly as she spoke. “Knox was my first kiss with one.”
“How?” I squinted as I tried to envision Lex never touching a man before, at all.
“I’ve never trusted men.” She licked her lips, and I could feel her fear as a new side of her flashed through the dark makeup and bossy exterior. “When I was younger,” she paused once more, and I could sense her anguish, “one hurt me.”
“Lex.” I gasped as tears burned the back of my nose. There was a universal language amongst women, and those words said it all. I knew what she meant. “You don’t have to say it.”
“I want to.” She closed her eyes and took my hand like I was comforting her, and I clung to her, squeezing her back so tight I wasn’t sure who was reassuring whom at the moment. “I was thirteen. I was walking home from a friend's house a few blocks away and a stranger—,” She struggled but kept on, “He pulled up beside me in a car and grabbed me, right off the street without a second of hesitation.” Tears welled in her eyes, but didn’t fall. She had mastered hiding her pain behind her tough exterior for so long she couldn’t even cry for herself. “He assaulted me in his car right there on the side of the street and then pushed me out onto the road and drove away. Leaving me in a heap.”
