His mouth dropped for another round, but I used my hand in his hair to pull him off. “No, not that. Can we …? Please, Alex.”
I drag him up to kiss me, pulling his body against mine. My eyes fluttered shut as our bodies fit perfectly together, and his hard length pressed against my hip. I dropped my hand between us to trace his length.
“God,” he tilted his head back to catch his breath. "How do you do this to me?"
I pushed his pants down his legs and he shifted to kick them off. I grabbed the condom and rolled it up his length. He rolled over me, propped up on those perfect forearms, and notched himself at my entrance.
Then he was pressing into me, stopping to let me adjust and clenching his jaw at the snug feel.
But it wasn’t just his size I was adjusting to.
He fit perfectly into my body. The way a man was supposed to fit a woman. The way I’d always craved feeling — like half of a whole.
If only he could fit so perfectly into my life.
“Can you lift your legs, darling?” he asked. WhenI wrapped my legs around his hips, he slowly pressed the rest of the way in. I loved the feel of him inside me, of opening for him.
And we paused as he made small circles with his hips, his forehead pressed against mine, gazes locked. I fell into his eyes, irises dark with need like the midnight sky. I gave myself over to his movements, lost in the slide and friction as he began to move.
I used my well-honed meditation skills to push away all thoughts of anything but the feeling of him inside me. As my body built to another climax, as my hips rolled into his, as he aligned himself so that he grazed my clit at the end of every stroke, as my body lit up with need and desire … I leaped.
And I let myself fall.
Chapter 29Alex
I woke up to the easy fit of Grace’s body against mine. It felt natural to have my hand splayed across her hip, her ass curved into my groin. She’d finally stayed in bed past dawn. Then again, we’d stayed up way past her bedtime.
I still didn’t understand how we were here. The lodge had initially been intended just until Mallory finished skiing, but when my sister called, Grace sent me to shower. By the time I emerged from the steam, Kate was on her way to pick up Mallory and drop off an overnight bag.
The night had passed in slow motion, talking and touching and eating and laughing. We’d fed each other room service, fucked until we were sweat-drenched and spent, then laid wrapped around each other and whispered for hours.
I stroked her back and told her about Victoria, how we’d fallen into a relationship accidentally, convenient but never satisfying. She scraped her fingernails over my scalp and told me about Shannon, how they’d fallen in love before her transition and Shannon promised her feelings wouldn’t change. I twisted her long hair around my fingertips and told her all my favorite things about San Francisco, how I used to run the length of the city every Sunday before I made Senior Associate, and she encouraged me to make time for it when I went back.
She rested her head on my chest with her arm around my waist and trusted me with the full story of her dad kicking her out and canceling her financial support: tuition, rent, phone. She told me how she’d stayed at a domestic violence shelter and the social worker helped her come up with a plan — including introductions at her alma mater in Vermont — which inspired her career choice.
Between our slow storytelling we’d drifted off, but when one of us stirred, we reached out and came back together, stroking and caressing and whispering until we fell back asleep. I’d never felt so satisfied. It wasn’t just the sex; there was something about Grace that made everything feel easy and light. So completely different from the high-pressure life I’d paused in San Francisco.
I dreaded the fact that I only had five days left before I had to go back, knowing that my abrupt departure and unresponsiveness would probably lead to retaliation. When I got in the cab in New York last week, bound for the mountains instead of the airport, I’d given up my chance at this round of promotions. The partners would expect another grueling year or two before giving me the nod.
With my arms wrapped around her, I dreamed of a different option … but I could barely function on my own in that job, and asking her to do long-distance wouldn't be fair to either of us. She deserved a future with somebody who could give her a family, and as my dad had told me about his own years with young kids, it hadn't been fair to Mom that he'd worked that much.
So I thought about my brother's advice, to enjoy my time with Grace while I had it. While I was here, with her curled up in my arms, I would soak up every ounce of the sunshine she brought into my life. I would hoard her, like the selfish bastard that I was, and do anything I could to make her happy so that I could get just a taste of that residual joy, to stockpile it away for when I left her behind.
Now the sun was peering through the curtains, ready to start the new day.
My phone chimed on the nightstand. Keeping one arm securely beneath her head, I rolled over to read a message from my brother.
Nick
It’s been days, how’d it go? Don’t leave me hanging.
I swiftly replied, attaching a selfie Grace had taken on the ski lift.
Nick
Holy shit, she’s beautiful.
What the hell is she doing with you?
“What are you laughing at?” Grace murmured into my bicep.
“My brother,” I nestled closer, pressing my lips against her shoulder. “He says you’re beautiful.” I felt her warm blush on her neck.
I held out the phone, which she accepted it to read the messages herself.
It vibrated in her palm with a FaceTime request.
“He’s calling!” she squealed, tossing the phone and diving under the covers.
A laugh burst out as I swiped. In the reflection, I saw my smile widen at my brother’s blond Viking mane and scruffy stubble, a far cry from his polished camera-ready deity.
“Eeew, I didn’t want to see your ugly mug. I’m calling to talk to your girl.”
My girl. It felt good to hear Nick call her that. My Grace.
“She’s hiding,” I flicked the screen to her head under the covers, then turned it to see Nick’s hand over his mouth, holding back laughter.