I was also in no mood to share or be gentle with the others in her life.
Most days, fine. Not today.
“No,” I told him. There was no point in lying. Secrets from others was fine. But we had to be able to be direct with each other. “It’s not. Hans had information. Information. Answers. More questions. But I need a few hours to process it and I need Lainey.”
“Not coming back here tonight?” It wasn’t really a question, but I appreciated the confirmation.
“No.” Then because directness was required, I asked, “Unless there is a pressing need for us to be there?”
If they had a location on Andrea, that would take precedence…
“Still in a holding pattern on that one. Fletcher called an hour ago. He said he’s close, but he needed more time. There’s someone trying to cover the trail and from what Adam said, he sounded more annoyed than anything.”
Not finding Andrea yet wasn’t a relief, but not having to go back definitely was. I glanced at Lainey. If she had her own questions…
“Thank you, Pretty Boy. You can message if anything changes. But we’ll be back in the morning.”
“Will do… stay safe you two.”
“She will.” My safety was not as important as hers. “She’s also right, call us if anything changes.”
“Done.”
“Love you, Pretty Boy.”
He chuckled. “Love you too, Mayhem.”
I couldn’t blame him for the laughter. There was something about being loved by a woman like Lainey. She didn’t need any of us. Even when she was hurting, she didn’t need us. She chose us. Chose me. That was worth more than most would understand.
“Thank you,” I said after we’d gone another few blocks. Every breath I took helped to still the beast clawing inside my skin. The need to inflict damage and pain to the one that hurt my mother—it was still there. It burned in vibrant hues of red and orange.
“You’re welcome,” she said, not dismissing my gratitude or making light of it. “Just tell me what you need.”
“You.” It was that simple. She was what I needed. For her, I could cage up every violent response and shackle it until I could think again. There were so many better ways to take revenge. Bloody retribution had its place, but I would not let my temper control me.
I had far too much to lose now. I pulled into the private parking garage near my loft and followed the route upward to the reserved slot. The rattle of the rolling door sliding up and letting me tuck the car away before it rolled down soothed on a very basic level. The last bit of clatter was the lock turning, sealing me inside the cage I very much needed to be in.
Sealing me inside with Lainey.
The weight of her hand on my thigh helped me take a deep breath and then release it. Then another. By the third, I was ready to get out of the car. I glanced over at her. “There’s still time for me to take you back—”
“Don’t,” she said. One word. Her decision had been made. “You said you needed me. This is where I’m going to be.”
A stone pressing down on my heart rolled away. It wasn’t the first time the rubble had dislodged. But the debris had been thick enough to entomb my emotions and keep them contained.
Raising my hand, I cradled her face and she leaned into the contact. The trust shoved aside another broken rock, smashing it to the side. Every one loosened another breath.
Pain speared into my chest. My singular focus on answering my mother’s quest had been my personal obsession, my circles of hell as if I were trapped in Dante’s nightmare.
Breaking out from under the cairn of the past hurt. On some level, it was a betrayal. A betrayal of being only the man obsessed with finding his sibling, obsessed with finding the answer, and destroying everyone who had brought harm into my mother’s life—who had made her cry and broken her heart.
Broken mine.
Lainey? She needed more than the broken me. She needed me whole and present. If we found my brother—brother. I had a brother. If we found him, he would need more than the demon who had hunted for him all these years.
“I’m here,” Lainey whispered, the lifeline wrapping around me and giving me somewhere to go that wasn’t a river of ice or fire.
I would die for her. I would kill for her. Most of all, I would live for her.
Leaning forward, I captured her lips. The kiss could probably have waited until we were inside, but I needed to taste her now. I needed the way she opened her mouth to me. Craved how her tongue swept forward to duel with mine.
When she retreated, it beckoned me to follow. Then she sucked against my tongue. Her hunger matching my own. Every wet lick, every biting nip, and every soft gasp in between as I drank in her taste even as I inhaled her breath.
This was what I needed.
It took everything I had to pull away. Then only because I needed to take her inside. Doing this here would be uncomfortable for her and I wanted hours…
At some point, I would take days.
For now, hours would do.
Sliding my tongue over my lower lip and savoring the taste of her, I wrenched open the door and climbed out. She waited for me to come around to get her. For all her independence, letting me take charge was a gift.
I would never abuse it.
“Do you want me to leave these in the car?” She motioned to the envelopes in the purse.
“You can leave the whole thing in here. Bring your phone. You won’t need anything else.”
