‘I know. It’s OK.’
Ana watched him take a deep breath, as if steeling himself, and her heart felt as if it was going to burst right out of her chest as he took her hands and held them tight, then scooped her towards him. His hands felt cool against the back of her neck, and she inched even closer, letting him kiss her again. He had to know that she wanted the same thing he did, all of it. This longing—the heat, the passion, the connection—wasn’t something they could just switch off. Even if this turned out to be a one-night-only event, she couldn’t back out now. They just had to find a way to work around what she couldn’t do so they could both enjoy the things she most definitely could.
It was always the hardest part; it had been the same with her ex in Bariloche. But this felt more intense, more meaningful, more important somehow. Every time Gabriel pulled his lips away and looked at her, his face told her he knew that too.
If only she had the words to tell him that she could handle herself and make sure he was comfortable in all scenarios but, right now, her breath was so taken away by the growing intensity of his kisses that she was starting to think she didn’t need to say a word anyway. Before long she was as far out of her chair as she could get. If only she could break free, she thought; if only she could stand up, wrap her legs around him and feel all of him pressed against her.
His breath was hot and deliciously heavy on her neck, and a rush of electricity surged through her core and made her toes tingle. She could tell her chair didn’t matter to him as he trailed kisses that made her shiver down to the crook of her shoulder. Then, suddenly, he scooped her up from her wheelchair in one strong motion and held her close against him, pressing more kisses to her lips. Ana felt herself melting into him. She groaned with mounting lust and pure animal desire as he made for the stairs with her in his arms, just as she’d imagined.
His bedroom was surprisingly neat and tidy, which she somehow managed to notice between kisses...passionate kisses, with so much heat, so much burning desire. ‘I knew this would happen,’ he said now, carrying her past the huge wooden dresser that took up the length of one wall. The shelves were lined with more books than she’d imagined he’d have. The walls were painted in shades of blue and grey, and the moon was a huge glowing bulb, spilling its pale light through the trees outside and giving everything an ethereal glow.
‘You did, did you?’
‘Yes, I kind of did, the moment I saw you again that first day when I jumped out of the ambulance.’
A king-sized bed sat in the middle of the room, covered in a soft navy duvet. Still holding her close, he flung it back to reveal crisp, white cotton sheets, before lowering her gently onto the bed.
‘You’re so beautiful,’ he murmured, just as he’d done in her dream. Ana gasped, barely able to suppress her grin as Gabriel slowly leaned over her, bringing his face level with hers—close enough that she could feel each breath he took, hot with an anticipation that matched her own. She drew him into her lungs, reached up, cupped his face and felt herself melting even more as his deep-brown eyes locked onto hers.
‘I’m going to be so careful with you,’ he whispered. ‘We can do this.’
Ana felt her heart swell, tears prickling her eyes all of a sudden. He was so kind, so gentle, with her. But she wanted more. ‘You don’t have to be gentle, or even a gentleman. I know you, remember?’
Her hands fumbled at her shirt and she undid the buttons, gasping as he pulled off his own shirt, and in seconds they were naked, flesh to flesh. All fear disappeared as he stood before her naked, and she ran her tongue over her lips, seeing nothing but adoration and desire, and muscles she hadn’t imagined he’d have. He worked out: she’d seen the treadmill and weights in the living room.
Ana felt her breath hitch as his hands moved down her body, exploring her curves and lingering on her skin. His touch was tender and caring, but in equal measures daring and passionate, making sure she was pleasured while still ensuring she wasn’t in pain or uncomfortable.
‘Are you OK?’ he asked, his voice full of concern.
Ana nodded, feeling the warmth spread through her body. If only he knew she had never felt so loved, so wanted and desired before. She smiled at the rush of happiness that overtook her.
‘Yes,’ she told him, her voice soft and breathy. ‘All I want is you.’
Gabriel’s eyes never left her, his gaze turning her insides to liquid before he leaned in and kissed her again, his lips caressing hers as a wave of pleasure coursed through her body, her inhibitions melting away. She just might have discovered a new-found confidence in her body, a confidence she definitely hadn’t felt before, despite trying all kinds of positions with her ex.
‘Let’s take it slow,’ Gabriel said, pulling a condom from the drawer by the bed, his voice low and husky as he positioned himself over her again. She moaned in pleasure as he slid inside her, watching her face the whole time, his voice low and gritty, like broken glass in the moonlight, when he asked again if she felt OK. He studied her face intently, tracing his fingertips along the planes of her cheekbones and jaw as if memorising every feature. She assured him she was more than OK by rocking beneath him, every nerve lighting up as they found their rhythm. His eyes burned with such a fierce intensity that she felt as though tears might well up at any second. No, she would not cry, she told herself, squeezing her eyes shut and locking her arms around him.
She felt her heart racing as their bodies moved together, Gabriel’s hands exploring her body, his touch arousing her in ways she never thought possible. ‘How is this...us...?’ she heard herself ask between kisses as his hands found her waist again, then trailed up and down her back, tangling into her hair as he pulled her in. She felt herself melting into his arms against his broad chest, her body trembling as their passion heightened.
Gabriel suddenly pulled away, his breathing heavy. He looked at her, his eyes soft but so full of desire, it made her blood fizz. She felt him pause after a moment, his hands stilling on her body. He looked into her eyes, his gaze searching for something.
‘What is it?’ she asked, suddenly worried that he wasn’t enjoying this as much as she was.
‘You’re amazing, in every way,’ he told her, his voice still loaded with emotion as he swept her hair behind her ear. This time, she really did have to blink back a tear, which she somehow managed to hide by kissing him fiercely and hungrily till his movements sped up and slowed again in response to hers.
Ana realised she had never felt so safe, so cherished, before. Her body was in his hands and he was so aware of that, it was beautiful. She closed her eyes, feeling another surge of joy course through her body as she guided him into another position she knew would feel even more amazing. Every single thing he was doing felt incredible: his hands, his breath tickling her skin, all leaving her the sweetest sensation of being someone’s everything, even if it couldn’t last; even if this was the only time they’d ever do anything like this.
Gabriel’s movements surged in intensity as they chased their mutual climax, and Ana decided that, unlike in some of her previous sexual encounters—when she’d perhaps felt a little embarrassed at times—she was going to make all the noise she felt like making and not hold back any involuntary shudders. As Gabriel collapsed beside her, their bodies exhausted from the exertion, she could barely keep from telling him how that had been far beyond anything she could have expected, better than in her dreams.
‘Wow,’ was all he said, and they laughed before he propped himself up on one elbow beside her. Gabriel looked down at her, taking in her features, trailing a finger across her bottom lip. His smile made the flock of butterflies re-emerge and whirl into a mad frenzy inside her chest before he kissed her forehead gently and slid out of bed.
Ana could feel the air between them still humming with electricity, even after he left the bedroom. When he came back, he was carrying water in two shiny blue glasses. She glugged hers back appreciatively. All that action had made her thirsty, and she remembered the tea they hadn’t drunk going cold downstairs. Not that she ever wanted to leave this bed, now that she was finally in it. Soon, they both fell asleep, and for Ana dreams of Gabriel swirled round in her head and melted away all the doubts.
Morning came round, however, far too soon. She glanced at his bedside clock, which read six-fifteen. The birds were singing and Gabriel was still fast asleep. For a moment, she studied his sleeping frame: the contours of his muscles and limbs against the crisp white sheets; his darkly handsome face against the crumpled pillowcase.
This was the embarrassing part, she realised now. She could hardly just sneak out and let him have a well-deserved lie-in on a quiet Saturday morning, the way she would surely have done if she’d had the use of her legs. She would have to wake him up to help her get downstairs. Things were already going to be weird anyway, she supposed grimly, nudging him gently.
He stirred and his eyes fluttered open, and Ana prepared herself for a hint of regret on his face, some sign that he might regret putting their friendship on the line. But Gabriel just smiled at her softly, as if he couldn’t believe his luck that she was still there. ‘Good morning, you.’
Ana couldn’t help but smile back, her heart stopping its heavy thud for a second in relief. He seemed to be genuinely happy to see her still there beside him in bed, as if she could be anywhere else. All the same, she was pretty sure they both knew this was the awkward ‘morning after’ moment, and at some point they would have to talk about it and what happened next.
Gabriel just sat up, yawning, and leaned against the headboard, stretching his arms behind him. She studied his broad chest, remembering how he’d cradled her so close to him before they’d fallen asleep. Would they ever do that again, or had it been a one-off? So many questions, but now...
Ana bit her lip nervously. ‘I should go,’ she said, holding the sheet around her now, slightly more self-conscious of her body in the morning light. He looked at her a moment before he seemed to realise what she was saying.
‘Oh, right, yes...’ He flung the sheets back quickly and scrambled for his clothes, and she watched in appreciation and amusement as he pulled his boxer briefs and trousers on so fast, he almost tumbled over.
‘Sorry,’ he said and she laughed. Somehow he’d lightened the mood again. He looked extra-cute in the morning light, eyelids still heavy as he dashed his hands through his tousled hair. She wanted more than anything to be able to tell him how much last night had meant to her, how much she cared about him, and how she’d never before felt so safe and cherished and adored. But maybe she’d come off as too needy, she decided. Still, she let her arms curl around him once he’d passed over her clothes and swept her up again into his arms.
When she finally left, he stood, shirtless, halfway behind the front door as she made her way back to the street. Her heart was doing crazy moves behind her ribs again as she kept on steering her chair away from him, putting more and more distance between them and their night of passion. Already she wanted to turn round and go straight back, but she didn’t want to stay so long that it got any more awkward. All the ‘what if?’s were piling up in her busy head already: what if he wished they hadn’t done that? What if it had ruined their friendship for ever? What if...what if he didn’t want to do it again?
CHAPTER EIGHT
‘DON’T FORGET HIS JUMPER. He might need it,’ Ines reminded Gabriel as Javi made to rush past them both from the house towards Gabriel’s car. She kept one eye on her son the whole time, and her arms were crossed, as if she was physically restraining herself from reaching out and making him stay with her.
‘I have the jumper, and he’ll be fine,’ Gabriel said kindly, stepping back from Ines’ doorstep. Nothing was going to ruin his good mood today. Not that that was entirely all to do with the fact he was spending the day with Javi. He could taste Ana on his lips and still see her face in his mind’s eye, still feel her. What a night.
‘What time will you be bringing him back?’ Ines asked, catching him before he turned to the car, and handing him Javi’s super-hero backpack. No doubt she had already packed it with a ton more stuff that he already had for Javi at his place, but he was used to this pedantic packing by now. It was just Ines’s way of showing motherly concern; he couldn’t really blame her.
