“Okay, let’s play a game,” she declared.
Lucky felt her insides shrivel. She hated organized fun; she had spent most of the birthday parties of her youth hiding out under the coats in the bedroom. Plus, she was already feeling that familiar anxious restlessness, an itchiness in her limbs, that came from ingesting amphetamines too quickly without moving around enough. She regretted not going straight for the Special K, small doses of which left her feeling weightless and outside of reality, as opposed to how she felt now, which was all too present.
“Okay, first task. Ruin a first date in four words,” declared Troll Doll.
Everyone seemed to already have their answers prepared.
“I forgot my wallet.”
“I just got out…”
“Is your nose real?”
“I think we’re cousins.”
Everyone except Lucky screamed with laughter.
“I’ve got a good one,” said cousin Rupes, who was wearing an Eyes Wide Shut–style mask. “What do you do?”
More laughter from the group.
“Why would that ruin it?” asked Lucky.
“Because it’s so dull, dear,” said Rupes.
“That’s just because you don’t do anything, darling,” said Troll Doll. “Go on, you say one, Lucky.”
“I can’t think of anything,” said Lucky.
The flatmate in the holster snickered and tried to catch the others’ eyes.
“Yes, you can,” said Troll Doll exasperatedly. “Just say anything that comes into your head.”
“My sister just died,” said Lucky.
“Oooh, dark, I like it.” Troll Doll giggled. “Now, let’s do the best thing to hear on a first date in four words.”
“I’m over nine inches.”
“Daddy owns this place.”
“The Château Lafite, please.”
“Screaming!” said Troll Doll.
“You want a pinger?” asked Flopsy quietly, turning to look at Lucky.
“Is that…one of the four-word answers?” Lucky asked.
“No.” Flopsy laughed. “Though it could be.”
Lucky shrugged.
“Sure.”
She didn’t know what a pinger was and she didn’t really care. Safe to assume she wanted it. Flopsy removed two white pills from her tiny white crocodile bag and stuck out her tongue, motioning for Lucky to do the same. Her eyelids sparkled with silver glitter in the light.
“Fizz pop bang,” said Flopsy, and they both swallowed.
—
Whooooosh went Lucky out of the flat into the shiny black SUV someone had ordered, through the dark sleepy streets of London, down the King’s Road, past rows of expensive shops that stayed lit all night, up the stairs of a large townhouse, down a long corridor, through a door hidden in a bookcase, down a narrow staircase, and into a thumping, throbbing, shifting, swirling party in full swing.
Everyone was dressed on theme. There were guests lounging on velvet sofas in lingerie and carnival masks and others dancing stiffly in leather bondage gear. There was a hairy-chested man in frilly bloomers tickling a large-breasted woman in an unbuttoned tuxedo shirt and Y-fronts. There was an old Lord in a diamanté thong and opera-length gloves surrounded by dominatrix types swinging their whips and cat-o’-nine-tails in time to the music. A tall brunette wearing crotchless latex briefs stroked Lucky’s cheek with a peacock feather as she passed.
Their hosts rushed over to greet the group with a chorus of squeals and coos. The twins were dressed in matching monochrome looks, one clad entirely in black and the other in shocking pink. Their outfits consisted of thigh-high boots, tiny pairs of silk underwear, and fur coats. Across one of their bare chests, large newsprint letters spelled Pure, while the other’s read Smut. Lucky had to hand it to them, they looked good.
“You’re here!” cried Pure, embracing each of them in turn. “Isn’t it all perfectly ridiculous?”
“Perfectly!” said Flopsy.
“Daddy’s here dressed as a naughty nun,” said Smut. “You must get a picky with him before he’s too drunk to function.”
“Scream!” declared Troll Doll.
She grabbed Lucky’s hand and rushed her headfirst into the night.
No matter how prestigious the guest list, private the location, or pricey the bar, Lucky had found that, in the end, all parties boiled down to this: dancing, drinking, and shouting over the music. And going to the bathroom to do drugs, which was exactly where she found herself an hour later.
