“Why?”
“The only thing I can imagine would be occurring is that somebody has hacked your account. That would explain all the weird experiences you’ve been having. As for Rufus though, that would be the only thing that has been real.”
Harmony gritted her teeth and closed her eyes. “What can we do?”
“Until we figure this out, we will have to deactivate your chip and rebuild the firewalls. It should only take a few days to repair the damage.”
A familiar fluttering began at her bellybutton and traveled to her sternum where it spread tingling all over her body. Her chest tightened and she could barely get a full breath. When her upper lip began to quiver, she knew she was quickly heading for a panic attack.
“Breathe, Harmony.” Her therapist reminded her compassionately. “Lay back and breathe. Use your coping skills.”
She began to try to identify 5 things she could see, 4 she could hear, 3 she could touch, 2 she could smell, and 1 she could taste. Each shuddering breath was a reminder that she felt like she was dying and that her life was over.
“We will fix this. It is okay.” Dr. Rigby said reassuringly.
After 10 minutes of focused energy, Harmony was able to come down from her anxiety and calmly discuss the next steps with Dr. Rigby. When a game plan had been decided, her therapist deactivated her chip and sent her home for the first time without any new treatments. Stepping outside of her therapist’s office felt like the sky was crushing her skull and her chest. It had been over a year since she experienced this feeling, but it was as familiar to her as the phone in her hand.
“It isn’t real.” She whispered as her legs carried her quickly to her car.
When she had shut the door and started the engine, she blasted her face with cool air to try and calm herself down. It took her some time, but when she was calm enough to focus she began to drive to work. Thankfully, her therapy appointments were part of her workdays so she did not lose out on any of her hours for the week. Despite the negatives at her job, this was a positive. Nobody ever questioned where you were when it was time to go to therapy. It has been shown that employees were more committed to the workplace when they had an outlet for mental health. It became even more imperative that Harmony seek out therapy because of her anxiety.
Even though she had started her day with therapy, she realized very quickly why the chip was necessary. The mind-numbing work before her was nearly impossible to complete as her brain whirred with questions. One minute she would be filling out forms and the next she would be hearkening back to the encounter she had with the smoking woman, the hurt child, her interactions with Lyric, and Rufus running away.
She didn’t think her anxiety could get much worse, but then a meeting notification popped up on her screen. Normally, meetings weren’t held at the end of the day, but Harmony was relieved to have the break. Five minutes before the meeting, she made her way to the conference room and picked out a seat. Nobody else had arrived yet and she breathed a sigh of relief at her luck.
She pulled her mask slightly down under her nose as she checked her phone and waited. The minutes ticked by and 2 minutes after the scheduled time, she glanced up at the doorway to see Lyric just gazing at her.
“You are beautiful.” He said simply. This was not an uncommon thing to hear from a coworker. When you were surrounded by gay, lesbian, trans, and queer peers it was expected to receive positive affirmations. However, hearing it from a boss was a different feeling.
“Where is everybody?” Harmony asked, disregarding the compliment and pulling her mask up over her nose. She suddenly realized how secluded this conference room felt. No windows and only one door in and out.
“This is just a meeting for us.” He said and sat in the chair directly next to her. “You don’t need to wear that mask.”
She then pulled the mask completely off. She had so much anxiety, that she wasn’t feeling elated to see him like she had been earlier.
“Am I getting fired?” The words flew from her mouth before she could stop them.
Lyric laughed and shook his head as his large dark hand squeezed her knee firmly. “Of course not.” The hand sat there much longer than Harmony felt comfortable and she uncrossed her legs so the hand slipped off and she was able to subtly move the direction of her knees.
Lyric laughed. “You’ve loved me since you got here.” Harmony tried not to let her true feelings slip but she averted her gaze.
“Why so shy all of a sudden? Are you seeing someone else?” He still was so close to her that she could smell his cologne and the coffee he had drank a few hours ago.
“No…I’m not.” She whispered honestly.
“Is it that woman with the blond dreadlocks?” He demanded.
Harmony’s fear then transitioned into disbelief when she realized what he had said. “I never told anybody about that woman.”
Lyric backed up slightly. “You mentioned her when I visited you at your Mom’s house.” He shrugged it off.
“You hacked my chip, didn’t you? You are the only one that has access to our files.” Harmony carefully stood up and pushed her chair up against the conference table. She didn’t release her grip on the back of the chair though because she was shaking hard. “Tell me the truth!” She squeaked.
Lyric stood. “I noticed you shut off my access to you. It made me sad.” Lyric said simply. “You are everything I want. All of that old, traditional charm. Nobody else here has that.”
Harmony was struggling to form words amidst her panic. Lyric’s intoxicating cologne hit her nostrils again and she remembered why she had liked him. But now that he was showing explicit interest, she realized she was not enjoying it at all and was not attracted to him. She could see who he truly was and it was nothing more than a snake that had been injected with Botox and steroids.
“Please, don’t hurt me.”
“Why would you think that I would hurt you?” Lyric seemed offended by the accusation.
“I don’t want this. I’m sorry.”
Lyric’s eyes flashed. “It makes sense why you’re alone.”
“I’m not alone.” She whispered, but she didn’t quite believe it.
“Who hurt you to make you go into hiding?”
“Hiding?”
“Don’t play dumb. I saw the witness protection block on your chip.” Lyric said nonchalantly. “I friggin’ always seem to go for the damaged ones.” He then left Harmony alone with her thoughts.
CHAPTER EIGHT
PAT NEVER ENJOYED being the center of attention and especially in high school. He had spent most of his time there alone, and when people did come over to speak with him they went away confused and uncomfortable. Even with the microchip to help alleviate the worst of his schizophrenia symptoms, he still looked at the world differently than others.
Teachers were concerned with the path he was going down and did everything in their power to include him when his peers didn’t. Even so, one day he accidentally heard some boys talking about how Pat “looked like a school shooter”. The statement settled in his stomach like a boulder and he carried it with him for months. He knew he would have sooner committed suicide than take another person’s life so violently and wished others understood.
