I looked at the glass. Ugh.
“Would you give me ten dollars?” I asked.
“I think it’s worth ten dollars to watch A.J. drink that,” said Candyman.
“DRINK IT! DRINK IT! DRINK IT!” all the Owls chanted.
Everybody in the mess hall started banging on their tables, stomping their feet, and chanting, “DRINK IT!”
“For ten dollars?” I said. “Okay, I’ll drink it.”
“YAY!”
Everyone was looking at me.
I picked up the glass.
I closed my eyes.
I brought the glass up to my lips.
I tilted my head back.
And I drank it. The whole thing. Ugh. It was horrible. I thought I was gonna die. But I did it. I put the empty glass down and let out a nasty burp.
“Okay, I drank it,” I told Candyman. “Give me ten dollars.”
“I don’t have any money,” he replied.
WHAT?!
I wanted to yell at him or something, but I didn’t have the chance because Uncle Ahdoanwanna got up and said he had another announcement.
“ANNOUNCEMENTS! ANNOUNCEMENTS! ANNOUNCEMENTS!” everybody chanted.
“We have one care package today,” announced Uncle Ahdoanwanna as he held up a box. “It’s for someone in the Owl cabin . . . named . . . A.J.!”
A care package for me? Wow, I guess my parents must have mailed it a few days before camp started.
“He has to kiss the moose!” somebody shouted.
“I don’t want to kiss the moose,” I said.
“You have to,” said Candyman. “It’s the tradition.”
Everybody started banging on their tables, stomping their feet, and chanting, “KISS THE MOOSE! KISS THE MOOSE! KISS THE MOOSE!”
So I stood up.
Somebody brought a ladder under the moose head.
I climbed the ladder.
And I kissed the moose.
I thought I was gonna throw up. This was the worst day of my life. I wanted to run away to Antarctica and live with the penguins. Penguins don’t have to kiss a moose. Or mooses. Or meese.
Before we could leave the mess hall, the counselors made us scrape off our plates and put them on a long conveyor belt that went into the kitchen. Candyman told me there are a bunch of Oompa-Loompas from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory back there who wash the dishes, but I’m not sure if he just made that up.
“Follow me, Owls!” said Uncle Ray.
We went back to our bunk and I opened my care package. And you’ll never believe what was inside it.
Candy!
Yay! I have the best parents in the world.
Too bad my stomach was upset from drinking Ryan’s gross drink in the mess hall. I love candy, but just the thought of it now made me want to throw up. Uncle Ray said the candy would attract bugs, and I had to eat it right away or get rid of it. So I gave all the candy to my bunkmates.
It wasn’t fair! I had to drink that horrible drink and kiss a dead moose head, but I couldn’t eat my own candy.* Bummer in the summer!
Uncle Ray said it was rest hour. We had to stay on our beds the whole time. Yeah, like we were babies.
