Humph. Good point. “Hey, have we met? Maybe last night, at the recruitment dinner with prospective Ph.D. students?”
“No.”
“You weren’t there?”
“Not really my scene.”
“But the free food?”
“Not worth the small talk.”
Maybe he was on a diet, because what kind of Ph.D. student said that?
And Olive was sure that he was a Ph.D. student—the haughty, condescending tone was a dead giveaway. All Ph.D. students were like that: thinking they were better than everyone else just because they had the dubious privilege of slaughtering fruit flies in the name of science for ninety cents an hour. In the grim, dark hellscape of academia, graduate students were the lowliest of creatures and therefore had to convince themselves that they were the best.
Olive was no clinical psychologist, but it seemed like a pretty textbook defense mechanism.
“Are you interviewing for a spot in the program?” he asked.
“Yup. For next year’s biology cohort.” God, her eyes were burning.
“What about you?” she asked, pressing her palms into them.
“Me?”
“How long have you been here?”
“Here?” A pause. “Six years. Give or take.”
“Oh. Are you graduating soon, then?”
“I . . .”
She picked up on his hesitation and instantly felt guilty. “Wait, you don’t have to tell me. First rule of grad school—don’t ask about other grads’
dissertation timeline.”
A beat. And then another. “Right.”
“Sorry.” She wished she could see him. Social interactions were hard enough to begin with; the last thing she needed was fewer cues to go by. “I didn’t mean to channel your parents at Thanksgiving.”
He laughed softly. “You could never.”
“Oh.” She smiled. “Annoying parents?”
“And even worse Thanksgivings.”
“That’s what you Americans get for leaving the Commonwealth.” She held out her hand in what she hoped was his general direction. “I’m Olive, by the way. Like the tree.” She was starting to wonder whether she’d just introduced herself to the drain disposal when she heard him step closer. The hand that closed around hers was dry, and warm, and so large it could have enveloped her whole fist. Everything about him must be huge. Height, fingers, voice.
It was not entirely unpleasant.
“You’re not American?” he asked.
“Canadian. Listen, if you happen to talk with anyone who’s on the admissions committee, would you mind not mentioning my contacts mishap?
It might make me seem like a less-than-stellar applicant.” “You think so?” he deadpanned.
She would have glared at him if she could. Though maybe she was doing a decent job of it anyway, because he laughed—just a huff, but Olive could tell. And she kind of liked it.
He let go of her, and she realized that she’d been gripping his hand.
Oops.
“Are you planning to enroll?” he asked.
She shrugged. “I might not get an offer.” But she and the professor she’d interviewed with, Dr. Aslan, had really hit it off. Olive had stuttered and mumbled much less than usual. Plus, her GRE scores and GPA were almost perfect. Not having a life came in handy, sometimes.
“Are you planning to enroll if you get an offer, then?”
She’d be stupid not to. This was Stanford, after all—one of the best biology programs. Or at least, that was what Olive had been telling herself to cover the petrifying truth.
Which was that, frankly, she was a bit on the fence about this whole grad school thing.
“I . . . maybe. I must say, the line between excellent career choice and critical life screwup is getting a bit blurry.”
“Seems like you’re leaning toward screwup.” He sounded like he was smiling.
“No. Well . . . I just . . .”
“You just?”
She bit her lip. “What if I’m not good enough?” she blurted out, and why, God, why was she baring the deepest fears of her secret little heart to this random bathroom guy? And what was the point, anyway? Every time she aired out her doubts to friends and acquaintances, they all automatically offered the same trite, meaningless encouragements. You’ll be fine. You can do it. I believe in you. This guy was surely going to do the same.
Coming up.
Any moment now.
Any second—
“Why do you want to do it?”
Uh? “Do . . . what?”
“Get a Ph.D. What’s your reason?”
Olive cleared her throat. “I’ve always had an inquisitive mind, and graduate school is the ideal environment to foster that. It’ll give me important transferable skills—” He snorted.
She frowned. “What?”