As he helped her get everything ready for Jesse’s guests, he searched for something to say, anything, just to dissipate the tension. “Danke for calling me in here. Aenti Hilda doesn’t always think before she speaks.”
“You’re welcome. And I’m sure your aenti means well.” She hadn’t met his gaze even once since they’d entered the kitchen. “Besides, looking for a fraa is nothing to be embarrassed by. It’s gut for a person to have a helpmeet to go through life with.” She grabbed the milk from the refrigerator and moved to the stove.
Something seemed a little off with her voice, though he couldn’t quite say what. But before he could respond, she continued. “I think that’s everything. Would you mind calling the kinner up here while I make the hot cocoa?”
He hesitated a moment, feeling as if he needed to say something to her, but he wasn’t sure what. So instead he left the room to do as she’d asked.
Once Jesse and his guests had trooped up to the kitchen Seth slipped out of the house. Ignoring the cold, he leaned a hip against the porch rail and stared unseeing across the front yard. The brief conversation he’d had with Phoebe had left him feeling oddly dissatisfied.
The door opened behind him and a moment later Levi joined him at the porch rail. “It seems Aenti Hilda let the cat out of the bag.”
Hearing the note of amusement in his bruder’s voice did nothing to improve Seth’s mood. “I wasn’t trying to keep it a secret.”
Levi turned and leaned back, his elbows resting on the rail. “Yet you failed to mention your sudden interest in finding a fraa to any of us.” His eyes narrowed. “Then again, perhaps it’s not quite so sudden. Apparently you’ve been planning something like this for a while if Zilla’s had time to find you a candidate.”
Seth heard the undertone of accusation in his bruder’s tone. Or maybe it was just his guilty conscience acting up. “I wrote both Zilla and Caleb letters asking them to help find someone just before Phoebe arrived.” He clasped his hands together and leaned forward against the porch rail. “I thought it was time I married again.”
“Gut, I’ve been thinking the same thing about you lately. But are you sure you want someone else doing the looking for you?”
“It’s not so unusual a thing.” He heard the defensiveness in his tone and tried to moderate his voice. “And I know enough about what I want in a fraa to describe it to someone else.” A little voice in the back of his head questioned that statement.
Levi crossed his arms. “Did Phoebe have anything to say when you two went in the kitchen after Aenti Hilda made her announcement?”
Seth shrugged. “Not that it’s really any of your business but the only thing she had to say was that she thought it was gut for a man to have a fraa.”
“I see.”
Seth glanced over at his bruder. “What is it that you think you see?”
“A lot more than you do, obviously.”
There was that annoying note of amusement again. But before he could say anything Levi straightened and rubbed his upper arms.
“It’s kalt out here. I think I’ll go back inside and get some of Phoebe’s hot cocoa.”
Once Seth was alone again he stared out over the front yard without really seeing it. Why did he have this edgy, dissatisfied feeling? The fact that he was looking for a fraa was not only a very personal matter but also something that was entirely normal for someone his age and in his situation. He didn’t need either Phoebe’s or Levi’s approval.
Perhaps he should have said something, should have forewarned them, but the fact that he hadn’t didn’t require any sort of apology.
So why did he feel so guilty?
Later, as the guests donned their coats and bonnets to leave, Trudy took Phoebe’s hand. “Edna tells us you and Seth’s brieder are helping him with his chess sets and have gotten a little behind on preparing your home for the service next Sunday. So if you don’t think we are overstepping, Hilda and I, along with some of our dechder, would like to come on Wednesday for a workday to help you out.”
“Ach, that is wonderful kind of you. And I would definitely appreciate it.”
“Then plan on it. We’ll be here right after breakfast and we’ll bring our own cleaning supplies.”
Edna stepped in to add her thanks to Phoebe’s. “And we’ll provide the food.”
Despite her intention to focus on other things, as Phoebe cleaned the kitchen that afternoon, her stubborn mind turned to thoughts of what this woman Seth’s cousin was bringing would be like.
“Nothing is settled yet.”
Phoebe’s gaze shot up to see Edna watching her sympathetically.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Phoebe carried a stack of dirty saucers and forks to the counter.
“This woman Zilla is bringing with her, she and Seth may decide they don’t suit.”
It would be wrong to hope Edna was right. “I’m sure his cousin wouldn’t get his hopes up if she didn’t think they’d be a gut match.”
“But still, there’s no certainty when it comes to matters of the heart.”
“I think Seth is looking for a match that is more a matter of the mind rather than the heart. Besides, it’s none of my business. I’ll be gone in a few weeks and will probably never visit here again.”
Just saying those words made her chest ache. But enough of these heavyhearted thoughts. She just had to focus on other more productive things, things that were within her own control.
Which definitely excluded Seth.
Chapter 26
They had a simple supper that evening composed mostly of leftovers. On the surface everything seemed pleasant and normal, but Seth sensed a formality in Phoebe that hadn’t been there before. And most of her conversation was directed toward the other end of the table.
Surely she wasn’t upset that he was looking for a fraa? No doubt it had more to do with how she had learned the news. She seemed to take it very personally when she heard news secondhand or late—perhaps that’s all this was.
Afterward, as the table was being cleared, Phoebe met his gaze and finally spoke directly to him. “After the kitchen is cleaned I plan to work on making the Christmas cards that I want to mail out. I’m not sure how you handle that for your household but since you’re so busy with your chess sets, I would be glad to help work on yours as well.”
Pleased to hear some of her positive spirit back in her voice, he smiled. “Danke. I’m afraid we haven’t sent out cards the last year or two but I think it would be gut to start the practice again.”
