‘I’ve been to the farm,’ Freddie informed Luna. ‘It’s super good. There’s a massive sandpit with a pirate boat in it and a really big trampoline and ice cream.’
‘I like chocolate ice cream,’ Luna responded.
‘I like strawberry. No banana! No chocolate,’ Freddie said.
‘No, you can’t like chocolate. That’s my favourite,’ Luna told him firmly.
‘You can have the same favourite as someone else,’ Poppy told her as she went around to the front of Norah’s Honda.
‘Can we?’ Luna asked, slightly shocked. She nodded at Freddie. ‘You can like chocolate, then.’
‘OK,’ Freddie said, relieved.
Poppy knew Luna could be a bit of bossy boots, but she hoped she wouldn’t push Freddie around too much if he was a bit more laissez-faire in his approach to life.
‘Ready?’ Norah asked, clicking herself in.
Poppy belted up and nodded, and Norah pulled out.
Poppy was still working through her shock that this was happening. They’d barely been on speaking terms a few days ago. Now they were off on a jaunt together with their kids. Poppy had never really dared to dream it could get to this point. But she was truly grateful, and not just for the help. What an unimaginable gift from the universe—a second chance to know Norah Cauldwell.
Twenty Years Ago
Poppy closed the door on Norah, turned, and slid down the door, slumping onto the mat. She was in so much pain. Throw that in with the enormous amount of shame and guilt she felt, and she just about wanted to die.
She’d known she’d have to face Norah at some point, but she’d had herself convinced it wasn’t going to happen just yet. That she had time to figure out a way to end it that wasn’t completely fucking shitty. Like there could be some magic phrase that would make it OK.
Well, it had happened now, and Poppy had blown it. It had been way worse than she’d feared. In her most sweat-soaked fever dream, it hadn’t gone that poorly.
The one thing she could have done was tell Norah what her mother had said. That could have eased it somewhat. A real reason. But Poppy knew how selfish that would have been because Norah would say her mother was wrong, wouldn’t she? And Poppy would be tempted to let herself believe it because she wanted to.
She had to be stronger than that, for both of them. Ending it now—when it had barely gotten started—would give Norah the chance to get over it easily. She wouldn’t give a shit in a few weeks. She might even think, ‘What the hell, do I even like girls?’
Poppy didn’t think she’d fare so well. It was going to hurt, but Poppy felt that was a good thing. She should suffer. She was a selfish coward.
She felt lucky she had something she could move toward, a good distraction. She hadn’t lied to Norah when she said the band had a big opportunity coming up—a real showcase. She would focus on that. It was all that could save her because life was going to be harder now. She was in love with someone she couldn’t have, and that was going to hurt for a long time.
Poppy bitterly regretted the day that Norah had overheard the song. That had been the start of everything. The ripple in the pond. How far would the ripples travel? She prayed not far.
Nineteen
Now
Norah’s car rumbled down the winding country roads toward the farm.
It was an unusually chill drive for her. Being on the road with a full car tended to be a very different vibe. Max had the habit of monologuing about his minor work troubles while Norah was trying to concentrate on driving, which led to spats that poor Freddie had to listen to from the back, which, in turn, made Norah feel guilty.
But it was nothing but serenity in the car today. Poppy was staring out of the window while Freddie and Luna excitedly pointed out cows, horses, and the occasional rabbit darting across the fields.
‘Look!’ Freddie yelled, pressing his face against the window. ‘A tractor!’
Luna was fascinated. ‘It’s massive!’
Norah saw a sign for the entrance and turned up the road, approaching the farm. ‘We’re here!’ she announced, pulling into the gravel parking lot.
The kids cheered. Norah loved their energy. They lived for now, and if now sucked, there was always another now just around the corner. She envied them, truly. She must have felt like that once, but she couldn’t remember such a time in her life.
Well, maybe once.
The excitement in the car was hitting fever pitch as Freddie and Luna scrambled to unbuckle their seat belts, eager to get the fun started.
‘My belt is stuck!’ Freddie cried desperately.
Norah got out of the car and went around. ‘It’s OK, I got it, Freds.’
She unclipped him, and he launched himself out of the car. Luna was hot on his heels, moving around to catch him as he took off running.
‘Stop, Freddie!’ Norah screamed.
‘It’s a car park, Luna!’ Poppy added in a like tone.
The kids might not have been able to hear their parents’ words, but they both understood the tone enough and skidded to a halt.
Norah grabbed her bag and locked the car quickly. Poppy had already caught up to them.
‘What do I always say?’ Norah asked.
‘Don’t eat snails,’ Freddie responded.
