‘I mean, yes. Sort of. But I wasn’t thinking it was for... consumption,’ Poppy explained carefully.

‘If it’s your best work, you’d be selling yourself short by not letting me hear it, wouldn’t you? And I’d hate you to miss your shot at a real career because you didn’t put your best foot forward,’ he explained smoothly.

Though Poppy didn’t know if this was a shot she wanted, something was compelling about Jeff’s tone. What if this was it? What if this was the only real opportunity she’d ever get in her whole life, and she was sitting here, considering letting it pass her by? She was going to feel so fucking stupid in twenty years, knowing she was a miserable failure who could have had it all.

But more than that, Poppy was in so much pain right now. She needed something else to think about other than Norah. She needed to stop missing her with her whole body and soul. She needed to lock onto something, anything else.

‘OK, I’ll send you the song,’ Poppy agreed.

Twenty-One

Now

Spring was springing, and winter was finally packing its bags and fucking off. Norah was glad for more than just a weather change. Christmas had not been fun. They’d hosted Max’s parents, who were divorced for good reason. Watching them pretend to be polite to each other (while being passive-aggressive on an unholy level) set Norah’s teeth on edge.

And she was no stranger to a pass-agg parent. Luckily, her own mother was on a winter cruise, so she hadn’t added her dark little soul to the proceedings. The dinner table probably would have collapsed under the weight of bile.

But it wasn’t all bad. Freddie had loved the visit to Santa, getting his new bike, and a trip to the ice-skating rink. Watching him experience joy was like feeling it herself.

As the days grew longer and warmer, Norah felt a sense of relief. She could finally take Freddie out to play in the park without having to bundle him up in multiple layers. She’d taken to meeting Poppy there with Luna on a Sunday afternoon, and it was a regular thing now.

Little did Norah know that the end of winter hadn’t seen off the dark days. There was so much worse to come.

But sitting next to Poppy, watching the kids trying to double mount the rope swing, she thought things were getting better. Good, even. She and Max were rowing much less. If that was because he was out all the time, then so be it. Peace was peace. They’d decided to stop the counselling. They agreed that they’d gotten all they could out of it.

And things were growing ever more comfortable with Poppy. She was becoming a good friend. It was very nearly like the old days, before... Well, before. Norah was shocked at how grateful she was for that. She hadn’t noticed it, but a lot of her friendships had fallen off when Freddie came along. She was just so busy and tired that there wasn’t time for things like hanging out with someone who understood her. Having it in her life again was pretty wonderful.

Poppy was now her best friend. The girl who broke Norah’s heart was gone. One night of passion and a few dozen days of tears couldn’t count for much in the thousands of days spent on this silly blue marble. It was a blink. Something to be forgotten.

But Norah hadn’t forgotten, exactly. But she didn’t focus on it. And that meant it was past, didn’t it? Like the time she broke her wrist coming off the swing when she was seven. She hadn’t forgotten how it felt, but it didn’t hurt anymore. It was just a memory of pain, not pain itself. Though, just occasionally, when it was damp, her wrist did ache a touch. But the metaphor tracked, for the most part.

‘Hey, are you going to that PTA thing on Friday?’ Norah asked as they watched the kids flying across the zipline together, screaming with delight.

Poppy looked at her in surprise. ‘No, are you?’

‘Not if you’re not.’

‘Then we’re not.’

‘I wish Susan would stop putting the meeting times in the chat. It makes me feel guilty,’ Norah said wistfully.

‘Don’t talk about guilt,’ Poppy complained. ‘This is supposed to be a slacker mums’ club.’

‘Since when?’ Norah asked.

‘Since we’re both slacker mums.’

‘I’m not a slacker, and neither are you,’ Norah said with an eye-roll.

‘Fine, but I’m too busy to take on shit I don’t have to. Which—by some people’s definition—makes me a slacker,’ Poppy said.

‘OK, OK, my bad,’ Norah said. She paused. ‘Quick question. Would you rather go to a PTA meeting or shit yourself?’

Poppy paused, and Norah wondered if she was being a bit gross. But then Poppy said, ‘PTA. But it’s a close-run thing. You?’

‘I’m fifty-fifty because they have free wine at the PTA. No one gives you free booze if you crap yourself,’ Norah explained.

Poppy's eyes lit up. ‘Free wine? They should lead with that.’

'You considering it? We could be like those cool, effortless mums who are always organising events and fundraising,' Norah said.

‘I’m cool already. I listen to cool, youthful music like... What do kids listen to?’ Poppy asked.

‘Freddie likes Taylor Swift,’ Norah said evenly.

Poppy sighed. ‘She’s banned in my house.’

‘Why’s that?’ Norah asked, interested.

‘Because I hate her,’ Poppy said flatly.

‘Oh, I thought you were gonna say something more parent-y.’

‘When have you known me to do that?’ Poppy asked, aghast.

‘MUUUUUUM!’ Freddie suddenly said from right next to her, shocking her eardrum.

Norah needed to put a bell on that kid.

‘What’s up, Freds?’ Norah asked.

‘I’m thirsty.’

Norah pulled out his water bottle, and he sucked on it like a baby. He was a very thirsty child. He was like a little steam engine that needed water thrown on the coal at regular intervals, or he was apt to crash.

‘Mum, I need water, too!’ Luna said, running over.

‘Funny coincidence,’ Poppy remarked with a smile at her child, who was soon necking her water.

‘Mummy, did you see my message?’ Freddie asked, still gasping from his mega drink.

‘What message?’

‘I sent it from Dad’s phone before we left.’

‘Sorry, I didn’t see it,’ she said, checking her phone to find one of his cryptic emoji streams. ‘It’s lovely,’ she said. ‘Thank you.’

He ran off, and Luna ran after him.