‘Is that within the legal limit?’ Poppy asked the woman.
‘Yeah, sure,’ the woman said.
Poppy googled it. Google seemed to think the limit on a bouncy castle was actually five. A collision was inevitable.
Poppy prepared herself to withdraw a crying Luna at any moment. She was so focused on a potential head injury that she didn’t even realise that Freddie was on there too until he screamed, ‘Hi, Luna’s mum!’
Poppy waved and turned to look for Norah, frightened. They hadn’t seen each other for weeks. Which was a hard thing to finagle, given the bi-daily drop-off. But Poppy fixed that by being five minutes early to drop off and five minutes late to collection every day, which had a pretty shitty knock-on effect on the rest of her life. But she had to do it. She couldn’t be around Norah. It hurt too much.
But where Freddie was, Norah was. Poppy did a full revolution to scan the crowd of parents, watching the kids leaping about, searching for her.
Instead of Norah, she found Max. ‘Hi,’ he said, giving her a chipper little wave.
‘Hello,’ she said coolly.
What the hell was he doing here? He never came to school stuff. And why did he look so pleased with himself?
A moment later, Norah appeared at his side with her mother, and Poppy felt the answers to that question had been revealed.
‘Here’s your beer,’ she said, handing him a can.
‘Cheers, babe,’ he said, taking it with a smile.
Mrs Cauldwell watched the interaction, looking pleased with herself. So Grandma’s prediction had come to pass. Norah was back with Max. Poppy’s heart felt like a balloon in a threshing machine.
Norah turned and saw her. Poppy turned away quickly, fixing her eyes back on the castle. It was the hardest thing in the world, but she was not letting herself get in the way. She didn’t think it was a good idea for Norah to get back with Max; he wasn’t even close to good enough for her. But Norah needed to be able to make that call without Poppy getting in the way. It was her family and her choice.
Not that she’d held out any real hope for anything to happen between them. She knew it was silly. A fantasy of what might have been.
Well, love wasn’t for her. She had to accept it. She had Luna, and that would be enough. She’d be OK. She would let this go.
She would do her best to be, if not happy for Norah, then at the very least, cool with this. Poppy was glad she’d made the choice she’d made. It was the right call.
She. Would. Let. This. Go.
Thirty-Eight
‘Here’s your beer,’ Norah said through a strained smile. She’d been getting drinks for everyone; it had felt a little churlish to exclude him. God, she hated being the bigger person. It was so much fucking work.
‘Thanks, babe,’ Max said.
She shot him a look. ‘Sorry, force of habit,’ he mumbled.
Norah was annoyed her mother had invited Max to this. Come to think of it, Norah was pissed at her mother’s presence, too. But she’d invited herself when she heard Norah talking to Freddie about the fayre.
And then Max had suddenly shown up at the door, acting like they were all going on a lovely family jaunt. Clearly, there was some behind-the-scenes business going on between the two of them. Poppy had implied as much.
Norah knew what Max wanted. He’d had his fun, and he was crawling back, cap in hand, expecting his family to come home. There was no way. Norah had tasted her freedom, too, and it came with a gift of purchase. Perspective on their attempt at family. It was clear to see now that it had never functioned at the most basic level. Respect, kindness, empathy—they hadn’t had it. Norah couldn’t show Freddie that that was what a relationship was. He’d only grow up to repeat it. He needed to see a true partnership.
Though, of course, Norah was going to have to find it first. But she worried it wasn’t on the cards for her. She might just be one of those people who couldn’t do it.
Like her mother. She could have found someone else after her father died, but she hadn’t. Norah suspected the trouble was that hiding her difficult nature had gotten tougher as she got older. If that was Norah’s future, too, then so be it. She was done compromising everything, compromising herself. She could be alone forever. It wouldn’t be that bad.
But if Max wanted to watch his son have fun, she wouldn’t have denied either of them that. So here they all were, at the summer fayre. A collection of adults tied together by resentment and need.
Norah watched Freddie jump about on the bouncy castle. Suddenly, she spotted Luna bouncing next to her son. Poppy had to be nearby.
Norah picked Poppy’s long figure out of the crowd quickly and her heart jumped. Poppy turned at that moment, and they caught each other’s eyes. Then Poppy turned away from her to watch Luna bounce on the castle.
Norah heard a mournful sigh escape her own lips.
She wanted to go to Poppy. She wanted to say, ‘Poppy, please, I miss you. Let’s work this out.’ But Poppy had made it clear that she was stepping back from Norah, and her reasons were not unfair. Norah could only hurt herself trying to repair it. The opportunity with Poppy was gone.
‘Something wrong?’ Max asked.
‘Nothing,’ she told him. As if he could understand.
Susan appeared, armed with her usual weapon, a clipboard. ‘That looks fun,’ Susan said, looking at the bouncy castle.
‘You should head in,’ Norah joked.
‘God, no. What? Me? I’m an adult,’ Susan said.
But she watched the kids with longing. She was clearly stressed as fuck. It was the first time Norah had ever felt pity for her.
‘Is that... Is that over the limit?’ Susan asked, frowning.
Norah examined the castle. There was something like thirty kids on the thing now. That did seem a bit...
