"I will tell them the truth," Harah said. Her face seemed suddenly old and sad with its olive skin drawn into frown wrinkles, a witchery in the sharp features. "I will tell them that Alia only pretends to be a little girl, that she has never been a little girl."
Alia shook her head. Tears ran down her cheeks, and Jessica felt the wave of sadness from her daughter as though the emotion were her own.
"I know I'm a freak," Alia whispered. The adult summation coming from the child mouth was like a bitter confirmation.
"You're not a freak!" Harah snapped. "Who dared say you're a freak?"
Again, Jessica marveled at the fierce note of protectiveness in Harah's voice. Jessica saw then that Alia had judged correctly -- they did need Harah.
The tribe would understand Harah -- both her words and her emotions -- for it was obvious she loved Alia as though this were her own child.
"Who said it?" Harah repeated.
"Nobody."
Alia used a corner of Jessica's aba to wipe the tears from her face. She smoothed the robe where she had dampened and crumpled it.
"Then don't you say it," Harah ordered.
"Yes, Harah."
"Now," Harah said, "you may tell me what it was like so that I may tell the others. Tell me what it is that happened to you."
Alia swallowed, looked up at her mother.
Jessica nodded.
"One day I woke up," Alia said. "It was like waking from sleep except that I could not remember going to sleep. I was in a warm, dark place. And I was frightened."
Listening to the half-lisping voice of her daughter, Jessica remembered that day in the big cavern.
"When I was frightened," Alia said, "I tried to escape, but there was no way to escape. Then I saw a spark . . . but it wasn't exactly like seeing it. The spark was just there with me and I felt the spark's emotions . . . soothing me, comforting me, telling me that way that everything would be all right. That was my mother."
Harah rubbed at her eyes, smiled reassuringly at Alia. Yet there was a look of wildness in the eyes of the Fremen woman, an intensity as though they, too, were trying to hear Alia's words.
And Jessica thought: What do we really know of how such a one thinks . . .
out of her unique experiences and training and ancestry?
"Just when I felt safe and reassured," Alia said, "there, was another spark with us . . . and everything was happening at once. The other spark was the old Reverend Mother. She was . . . trading lives with my mother . . . everything . .
. and I was there with them, seeing it all . . . everything. And it was over, and I was them and all the others and myself . . . only it took me a long time to find myself again. There were so many others."
"It was a cruel thing," Jessica said. "No being should wake into consciousness thus. The wonder of it is you could accept all that happened to you."
"I couldn't do anything else!" Alia said. "I didn't know how to reject or hide my consciousness . . . or shut if off . . . everything just happened . . .
everything . . . "
"We didn't know," Harah murmured. "When we gave your mother the Water to change, we didn't know you existed within her."
"Don't be sad about it, Harah," Alia said. "I shouldn't feel sorry for myself. After all, there's cause for happiness here: I'm a Reverend Mother. The tribe has two Rev . . . "
She broke off, tipping her head to listen.
Harah rocked back on her heels against the sitting cushion, stared at Alia, bringing her attention then up to Jessica's face.
"Didn't you suspect?" Jessica asked.
"Sh-h-h-h," Alia said.
A distant rhythmic chanting came to them through the hangings that separated them from the sietch corridors. It grew louder, carrying distinct sounds now:
"Ya! Ya! Yawm! Ya! Ya! Yawm! Mu zein, wallah! Ya! Ya! Yawm! Mu zein, Wallah!"
The chanters passed the outer entrance, and their voices boomed through to the inner apartments. Slowly the sound receded.
When the sound had dimmed sufficiently, Jessica began the ritual, the sadness in her voice: "It was Ramadhan and April on Bela Tegeuse."
"My family sat in their pool courtyard," Harah said, "in air bathed by the moisture that arose from the spray of a fountain. There was a tree of portyguls, round and deep in color, near at hand. There was a basket with mish mish and
baklawa and mugs of liban -- all manner of good things to eat. In our gardens and, in our flocks, there was peace . . . peace in all the land."
"Life was full with happiness until the raiders came," Alia said.
"Blood ran cold at the scream of friends," Jessica said. And she felt the memories rushing through her out of all those other pasts she shared.
"La, la, la, the women cried," said Harah.
