“There’s always a first time for everything.”

“There is.” He remains on his knees, gazing up at me. “Sofiya … I love you.”

His words hit me straight to the heart. I don’t hesitate to say the words I’ve wanted to say to him for a while. “I love you.”

His hands tighten on my hips. “I’m not sure if I’ve ever had a woman tell me she loves me before. Natasha and I didn’t … there was no love between us. And any other woman was just a means to an end. You’ve opened my heart, Sofiya. I can’t lose you again.”

“You won’t. I promise you, I’m here to stay.”

And I mean that with every fiber of my being.

Mikhail stands up and takes my hand, drawing me down with him on the bed. We don’t have sex. This is a moment of love rather than lust.

He draws me into his arms, and I rest my head on his chest, feeling his heartbeat under my ear. There’s no other place I want to be.

Chapter

Twenty

SOFIYA

“We’ll talk every day,” Mila says, hugging me tightly. We’re standing in the private airfield beside Mikhail’s jet. Today is the day my sisters will go back to New York, and I will remain in Moscow.

“Of course, we will,” I promise.

Vik rolls her eyes when Mila and I pull back from our hug. “I’m not calling you every day. Maybe once a week. Max. Can’t promise anything else. I have a life to get back to. Ballet. See some of my friends.”

“Never change, Vik,” I tell her.

“What friends?” Mila asks honestly, making me laugh and causing Vik to roll her eyes harder.

“I have friends, Mila. At the company. From school. I’m not a total recluse.”

“No,” she agrees. “But ballet takes up most of your life.”

“It takes up most of our lives. You’re getting back into it, too, when we return.”

Mila gives me a subtle look. She doesn’t want to return to dance. I almost laugh. She’s going to have a field day telling Vik about that. If there’s one thing I know about my older sister, it’s that Vik expects everyone to do what she wants to do. If she wants to dance, she assumes you want to as well.

“Good luck,” I tell Mila, but it’s Vik who answers with, “Thanks.”

Mila waves goodbye as she and Vik walk up the stairs and onto the plane. Mikhail stands beside me, wrapping his arm around my waist. I lean into him, seeking his comfort. My eyes water once I can no longer see them. They’ll be safe in New York, I remind myself. My sisters will be fine.

It’s up to me to find my own life without them. Eventually, they’ll do the same.

I’m about to turn away when I see Vik’s face in one of the windows. She doesn’t wave. Instead, she nods down at me, giving me a soft look. Vik and I have been through a lot. Arguments, competition, the loss of our parents. We haven’t always gotten along, but she’s shown me how good of a sister she is.

She’s blunt and honest and sometimes mean, but when I needed her the most, she was there. I know she’ll continue to be that way for Mila.

And if I ever need to call her, I know I can depend on her.

I smile at her, and she slowly smiles back.

After Mary's death, the house is quieter. Mikhail hasn’t found a new housekeeper yet, but I did ask him to hire someone I can get along with, and he agreed. I know Mary’s death left him shaken because she worked for him for years.

When we step through the front door, my eyes land on the spot where Mary and Fedor died just a week earlier. The blood stains have been cleaned up. Their bodies are gone, of course. Buried by now. It’s like they never even existed.

Over the past week, I’ve been dealing with the fact that I have blood on my hands now. Mikhail has been a great support—never pushing me beyond what I’m comfortable with. We haven’t even had sex since the incident. Mikhail’s been more open with me, sharing with me more stories about Alexei, from the time he wouldn’t let go of Mikhail’s leg his first day of school to the time he drew permanent marker all over the floors, and they had to be replaced.

I love hearing these stories. They’ve brought Alexei alive in my eyes and give me hope that one day, when Mikhail and I have our own child, Mikhail will be a great father. Much better than my own—who always made Vik and me compete for his affection.

I’ve told Mikhail more about my past—how my father treated me and how my mother was always there to pick up the pieces. I’ll never know who killed them. That’s the life I live in. The Bratva is a dark and dangerous place. I’ve spilled blood myself. I’m officially trapped inside it with no way out.

But Mikhail is a part of it, and because of him, I never want to leave.

He’s my only shield in this dark world. The only one who can truly understand what I have gone through. I spared Mila the pain of murder, and Vik wasn’t there to see it happen. Mikhail knows blood, though. He’s been both the victim and perpetrator.

I am the same.

When he holds me at night, I fall asleep knowing I am right where I belong.

Mikhail and I eat a simple dinner after saying goodbye to my sisters. Food is too much right now. I already miss them.

“They will be all right,” he tells me, grabbing my hand. “Your sisters are tougher than they look. And so are you.”

“I have you. I’m happy despite being sad. Does that make sense?”

“It does.” He strokes his thumb up and down the back of my hand. “What would you like to do tonight? Watch a movie? You said I still need to watch …” He scrunches up his face. “What was it?”

“Bridgerton. And it’s a show, by the way.” I shake my head. “I can’t believe you’d be willing to watch it with me. It’s a romance.”

“I love you. I’m not afraid of romance.”

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?” he asks.

“One moment, you’re my big, scary husband. And the next moment, you’re sweet and kind. How do you do it?”

“I finally let my heart open back up again. And I’m still big and scary. Don’t let any of my men think otherwise.”

I zip my fingers over my lips. “Mum’s the word.”

He chuckles as he leans over to kiss me. “I’m holding you to it.”